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Etiquette Q&A: "How Do We Tactfully Ask Our Parents if They're Paying?"

engaged couple with mother
Photo Credit: Michael Jung/iStock

Q: What's the most tactful way to ask both sets of parents if they will help pay for the wedding?

A: Asking parents if they intend to help out with wedding costs should not be a scary thing. But for a lot of couples, broaching the subject can be a bit uncomfortable, especially if their parents have not said a word about making any contributions. Naturally, you do not want to be in limbo wondering how much you will be able to spend on your wedding, so the sooner you do ask, the easier it will be to start your planning.

First, discuss with your fiancé the type of wedding you want to have — and be practical. Chances are a guest list of 500 for a wedding in Venice will not fit into your budget! Decide how much you both can afford to spend. Determine a rough estimate for your guest list, the time of year you would like to marry, the day of the week and where you might like to have your reception. All of these factors will determine the expense of the wedding. Next, ask your parents if they can meet for lunch or dinner — you will want the setting to be relaxed and casual — to discuss wedding plans. You and your fiancé may choose to do this together, or you may want to talk with your own parents separately.

Wedding Weight-Loss: Avoiding Temptation

When it comes to my diet, two of the biggest tests of my willpower are the free goodies at work and going out for drinks with friends. 

In my office, we have a huge kitchen stocked with everything you could ever imagine, and it’s so hard to stay away. Look at the snack wall — and this is only half of the food we have here!

snack wall at blogger work

To keep myself from snacking all day, I've been drinking ice water throughout the day — I keep a big cup on my desk filled with ice water at all times. This helps fill me up, and it also helps me get through these humid days!

Tuesday was one of my best friend's birthdays, so a few of us decided to go out for drinks later in the week. I recently discovered Smirnoff Sorbet Light vodka — it only has 78 calories per serving, compared to about 100 in regular flavored vodkas. I added some fresh raspberries and club soda; it was so good.

light vodka cocktail

Here, a look back at my week:

Monday, July 8

5 Tips for DIY Wedding Hair

I've never particularly enjoyed getting my hair done for events — I always get this nagging feeling that I could've done a better job myself (and saved a ton of money). So for my sister's wedding, three of my cousins and I decided to skip out on the morning salon trip and do our own hair (with my sister's blessing, of course!). We spent hours trolling Pinterest for ideas we felt were within our capabilities, scheduled a day for trials a few weeks before the wedding, had a Target shopping spree for curling irons, bobby pins, and combs, and got to work.

diy wedding hair

If you're thinking about doing your own hair, either as a bride or as a bridesmaid, here are the most important things we learned:

Practice, practice, practice

Yes, it sounds obvious. But when I say practice, I don't mean trying the hairstyle once or twice. I must've practiced my hairstyle at least 10 times before the wedding — and I was going for a very simple look. Try following the same timeline as the wedding day — do your hair in the morning, then see how it wears throughout the day. That way, you can troubleshoot any problems.

Also, make sure that you practice every detail of the hairstyle — including the curls. I made the mistake of not testing curling my cousin Rachel's hair, and the curls practically fell out before the ceremony (sorry, Rachel). At least the top still looked good!

Top 10 Wedding Cake Toppers

Loverly is the heart of weddings: a visual inspiration search engine designed to help brides discover ideas, people to hire, and things to buy. Loverly makes finding beautiful wedding inspiration easier than ever! Their images are powered by the best wedding publishers and wedding shopping partners on the web. Find Bridal Guide on Loverly >>

Choosing what will adorn the top of your wedding cake is almost as much fun as choosing your cake’s flavors (almost!). There are so many different styles and ways to honor your favorite things as a couple. If you’re having trouble deciding, here are 10 wedding cake toppers that we love.

1. A gold script topper works for nearly any style of wedding. 

4 Things I Wish I'd Added to My Wedding Registry

There are very few times in your life when you'll get to create a massive wishlist of things you want — and actually receive most of the items on the list. Creating your wedding registry can be one of the most fun parts of planning your wedding, but it can also be pretty overwhelming. How exactly are you supposed to predict what you're going need for married life, especially if you haven't yet settled into your home together? I've been married for two and a half years now, and I have to say, we did a pretty good job on our registry. We actually use most of the gifts we received (check out my 10 most-used items here), but there are definitely a few important and unexpected items we overlooked. Here, the four items I wish I'd added to the wishlist.

Vacuum

Back when my husband and I registered, we were living in an apartment so cheap that we could afford regular maid service — but that luxury went out the window when we bought a house two years ago, and I found myself regretting that I hadn’t registered for a quality vacuum to replace my old clunker.

A Day in the Life of Cake Boss

BG brides, I'm not a baker. My idea of baking is getting a store-bought mix, popping it in the oven, slathering the resulting cake in homemade buttercream frosting (isn’t that the best part anyway?) and calling it a day. So when I was invited to take a professional cake-decorating lesson from the pros at Carlos Bakery in Jersey City, New Jersey — where the hit TLC show "Cake Boss" is filmed — I leapt at the chance to learn from fourth-generation baker Buddy Valastro.

I had recently chosen my own wedding cake and wanted to experience firsthand what goes into creating these confectionary works of art. On average, it takes Valastro’s team two to three hours to stack and decorate the average wedding cake; that doesn’t include time spent making all of the sugar flowers, ruffles, or other adornments. He’s designed cakes for mega-profile celeb weddings — most recently, that of Mario Lopez and Courtney Mazza ("They were a lot of fun and had a great vision for what they wanted their wedding cake to look like; it came out beautiful," Valastro said.)

cake boss

NYC's Hottest New Proposal Spot

ringo art installation in new york city
Photo courtesy of designer

Couples have an all-new reason to love New York: a giant engagement ring in Riverside Park South. The romantic installation, created by artist, Reina Kubota, is large enough for couples to sit, stand, or kneel beneath.

As part of the Art Students League of New York’s Model to Monument program, the larger-than-life engagement ring (which swaps out the classic diamond for a red apple) will live along the Hudson River (near 66th Street) until May 2014. Couples can share a stroll along the river followed by a quiet moment beneath the steel band.

Kubota’s sculpture, titled “Ringo” (the Japanese word for apple), is her personal love-letter to Manhattan. Visitors of the installation have already been swept away by the piece and it will undoubtedly be one of New York’s most romantic spots this summer.

We can’t help but imagine how many lovely engagements will take place beneath it! Planning an engagement photo session in the city? Make sure you add "Ringo" to your site list — the sculpture would make a great whimsical backdrop for your photos.

—Gabriella Rello

Surviving a Holiday Weekend on a Diet

Hope you all had a great Fourth of July weekend! My week started off with wonderful weight-loss news and a killer new workout plan. I regrettably overindulged a bit on the 4th, but I got myself right back on track the next day. There’s no stopping me from here!

Monday, July 1
I had an awesome workout with Bonne Marcus on Saturday. Because I didn’t see her last week, I hadn't been weighed in two weeks. When I got on the scale, I was down six pounds! I was completely overjoyed, and I'm even more motivated now that I know this is working. Bonne also took my measurements for the first time since our first workout nine weeks ago, and I'm down one inch off my arm and waist and a half inch off my thigh and hips. I was so happy, I can’t even explain the feeling!

Bonne gave us a new workout this week — and, thank god, there are no step ups! Rene had some trouble breathing in the middle of the routine and had to sit down and rest after 40 minutes. He needs to learn to breathe through his nose and not hold his breathe in order to keep his heart rate down. Some of the new moves in this routine incorporated the stability ball and the medicine ball, which made it fun but even more difficult.

pre wedding workout

By the time we were done, Bonne had to literally peel us off the floor:

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