Wedding Ceremony Q&As

Answers to who walks when, who stands where, and other ways to make sure your ceremony is perfect.

Q: My fiancé and I live on the West Coast, as does my entire family. However, his relatives live on the East Coast. We both want to marry near our families and can’t agree on the location. What should we do?

A: Unfortunately, there’s no easy solution. I do understand your fiancé wanting to have his family members in attendance and undoubtedly, traveling across country would be difficult for many of them. However, weddings are traditionally held in the bride’s hometown, and since you—and most of your relatives—live on the West Coast, this would seem to be the logical choice. Also, if your parents are helping to pay for part of the wedding, you need to take that into consideration. If you decide to marry in California, send out your save-the dates now and follow up with your fiancé’s family to gauge how many will be able to attend. You may discover that a greater number than you expected plan on being there. And, for those who aren’t able to make the trip, why not schedule a post wedding celebration with them in your new husband’s hometown after you return from the honeymoon? And here’s another option: Other couples faced with your dilemma often decide to have a destination wedding at a location that’s at a halfway point for everyone. If you marry, say, in Mexico or Texas, both families would need to travel and you’d avoid any semblance of favoritism. Plus, there are lots of well-priced wedding packages and affordable hotel rates now. But before you make your final decision be sure to weigh all factors, such as your own time and budget constraints, the number of guests you can afford to invite and the type of wedding that’s most important to you (casual, formal, brunch, sit-down dinner, etc.) There will be some compromising involved, but isn’t that what marriage is all about?

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