10 Marriage Firsts Every Newlywed Experiences

Author Sharon Naylor shares expert newlywed advice to keep you happy long after your wedding day.

9. The First Holiday You Split or Host

couple on christmas
Photo Credit: Melissa McCrotty

Why It’s Big

When you were engaged, you may have gone to one family's house for half of a holiday, then the "other side's" to continue the celebration. Or you may have just gone to your family's house, while your groom went to his. Now that you're married, you'll both face the nervewracking question of where to spend the holidays. Will you take turns, use alternate years, or just invite everyone over to your place? It's important because there's a lot of relatives who hold onto family tradition dearly and don't like change. If your families live very far apart, it can be tough to decide who gets first dibs on major events like Christmas or Hanukkah.

How to Deal

Before you talk to your families about this—they may approach you about it months in advance, to get a jump on the competition—talk with each other about any special circumstances that will help make the decision easier for you. Perhaps a parent or grandparent has an illness, or your brother and his wife just had a baby. One family's circumstances may make it a no-brainer as to which "side" gets to have you first. Accept the fact that someone might not be happy about changing family tradition, so you might have a Scrooge at your table. Don't let that overshadow the importance of this being your first married holiday together. If you and your husband decide to host, consider this first year an experiment; you can always switch it up next year. But no matter what you plan with your families, it's also important to plan something special just for the two of you. Start a new holiday tradition you'll keep going every year and make your gift exchange really special, so that the last hours of the holiday are blissfully yours together.

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