Bridal Party Q&As

Guidelines about the roles and responsibilities of everyone involved, from maid of honor on down.

Q: My fiancé and I have a three year old son who we would like to have in the wedding. I also have a niece and nephew who I would like to have as flower girl and ring bearer. Is it acceptable to have two ring bearers or is there something else that I could have either my son or my nephew do to be included in the wedding ceremony itself? 

A: You can certainly have two ring bearers in the wedding party. They can each carry a ring pillow with a fake ring attached to each. (You wouldn't want to place your real wedding bands on the pillows - let your best man hold onto them!) You might want to practice at home with them and explain what they're expected to do. I'm sure they'll be very excited and feel quite important!

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Wedding etiquette is a popular subject because they are so many horror stories. It's expensive to be in a bridal party, and it's expensive and stressful to have a large one. One budget line item that often gets overlooked by the future Mr. and Mrs. is the THANK YOU gift for each bridal party member. You should plan to spend at least half the amount of the cost of the bridesmaid dress/suit rental for each person. So if the dress they bought is $300, then be prepared to thank each one with ~$150 worth of gratitude. Bridal showers, bachelorette parties, flights/hotels, hair/shoes/makeup/hair styling -- all these things add up, and some bridesmaids spend over $1000 just to be in your wedding party. These are your most important witnesses to your wedding. And chances are they supported you before, during, and after the big day. Thank you gifts are not the area to skimp. Good luck! Lisa |

I've selected my matron of honor (and asked her) who is engaged and was supposed to get married before me but then had to postpone her wedding. Can she still be my matron of honor??