Bridal Party Q&As

Guidelines about the roles and responsibilities of everyone involved, from maid of honor on down.

Q: Would a divorced woman still be considered a matron of honor, or a maid of honor—or shouldn't she serve in that role?

A: Traditionally, the matron of honor is a married woman and the maid of honor a single woman. So, a divorced woman is really "single" and should be a maid of honor. (It's OK to have two maids of honor, by the way.) But on a personal note, I'm not really a stickler for such hard and fast rules. I think it's fine to have a divorced woman as your matron of honor if that's what you wish. After all, there are weddings today where the "maid of honor" is a guy and the "best man" a woman, so do what you feel most comfortable with and enjoy your day!

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Wedding etiquette is a popular subject because they are so many horror stories. It's expensive to be in a bridal party, and it's expensive and stressful to have a large one. One budget line item that often gets overlooked by the future Mr. and Mrs. is the THANK YOU gift for each bridal party member. You should plan to spend at least half the amount of the cost of the bridesmaid dress/suit rental for each person. So if the dress they bought is $300, then be prepared to thank each one with ~$150 worth of gratitude. Bridal showers, bachelorette parties, flights/hotels, hair/shoes/makeup/hair styling -- all these things add up, and some bridesmaids spend over $1000 just to be in your wedding party. These are your most important witnesses to your wedding. And chances are they supported you before, during, and after the big day. Thank you gifts are not the area to skimp. Good luck! Lisa |

I've selected my matron of honor (and asked her) who is engaged and was supposed to get married before me but then had to postpone her wedding. Can she still be my matron of honor??