Bridal Party Q&As

Guidelines about the roles and responsibilities of everyone involved, from maid of honor on down.

Q: My fiancé's "best man" is his closest childhood friend—a woman. We’d like to know what she should wear at the wedding and any ideas for the wedding party’s walk down the aisle and position at the altar. 

A: With many couples opting to have a woman as 'best man' and a guy as 'maid of honor', questions naturally arise as to the proper wedding attire and procedures. When it comes to clothing, the good news is that there are several options to choose from. Your fiancé’s friend can wear the same style dress as the bridesmaids, but in a different color to distinguish her role as the groom’s honor attendant. Instead of carrying a bouquet, and in lieu of wearing a boutonniere, consider giving her a wrist corsage. 

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Wedding etiquette is a popular subject because they are so many horror stories. It's expensive to be in a bridal party, and it's expensive and stressful to have a large one. One budget line item that often gets overlooked by the future Mr. and Mrs. is the THANK YOU gift for each bridal party member. You should plan to spend at least half the amount of the cost of the bridesmaid dress/suit rental for each person. So if the dress they bought is $300, then be prepared to thank each one with ~$150 worth of gratitude. Bridal showers, bachelorette parties, flights/hotels, hair/shoes/makeup/hair styling -- all these things add up, and some bridesmaids spend over $1000 just to be in your wedding party. These are your most important witnesses to your wedding. And chances are they supported you before, during, and after the big day. Thank you gifts are not the area to skimp. Good luck! Lisa |

I've selected my matron of honor (and asked her) who is engaged and was supposed to get married before me but then had to postpone her wedding. Can she still be my matron of honor??