Q: One of my friends has multiple body piercings, tattoos and neon purple hair. She's furious that I didn't ask her to be in my wedding party, but I feel that her presence would be a distraction during the ceremony. I did ask if she would be willing to tone down her look a bit but she refused. Am I being unreasonable?
A: Certainly not! It's your prerogative (as it is every bride-to-be"s) to have a wedding party composed of relatives and friends to whom you feel closest and most comfortable. I am sure that you also have a certain vision of how you want your attendants to look - and it probably does not include tattoos and neon hair. So do not feel pressured to ask someone whose appearance will only cause you aggravation and frustration on your wedding day, especially if she is unwilling to compromise. If your friend wants to have the freedom to look and dress as she pleases, then she should grant you the freedom to select a wedding party to your liking.
Unfortunately, no matter who you do and do not choose, there are bound to be a few acquaintances or family members who disagree with or feel hurt by your choices - and they will not hesitate to verbalize their unhappiness to you. You might try to explain patiently why you selected the people you did. But, ultimately, it is your decision and your wedding to plan as you and your fiancé wish, and your choices require no justification.