12) Change the lighting. Surprise your partner by replacing an everyday lightbulb with a red or blue one. "This creates a soft, romantic glow," says Dr. Hutcherson. Or, have a bridesmaid, the hotel concierge or your wedding planner fill the room with rows and rows of candles and light them just before you arrive.
13) Leave something sexy on the bed. Buy your groom some silky boxers or pj's, and lay them out so they're waiting for him. Or guys can buy the bride some fancy lingerie. Either way, this sets a fun, sexy tone.
14) Indulge in playthings. "Before your wedding night, decide that each of you will buy a sex toy that you want your partner to use on you," says Dr. Hutcherson. "This way you both feel comfortable with the idea, and you can have fun trying them out."
15) Bliss out in the tub. Plan for some quiet, intimate bath time together, complete with amenities! Think rose petals, massage oils and candles, as well as sponges or loofahs to wash each other with. Just turn the water on and enjoy.
16) Relax! Realize the pressure is off. Take the time to talk about your amazing day. Get romantic; make out the way you did when you first met. All of this will make the sex more intimate and thrilling.
17) Have a treasure hunt. Hide sweet (and sexy) items around the room and give him a list of clues, suggests Tasha Bracken, principal design coordinator of Simple Details, an event-planning company. For example, hide chocolates, a bottle of champagne, a CD of your favorite songs, and so on. The final "find" can be you—soaking in the tub or cuddled beneath the covers.
18) Stroll down memory lane. Decorate the room with playful, romantic pictures of the two of you, says Bracken. (Think funny or poignant!) You can also make a video or slideshow of these special photos set to music, and arrange to have it playing when you get back to the room.
19) Paint a rosy future. Cadell suggests writing down some private vows. One example: "To love each other. To help each other. To believe in each other." Another is: "We are committed to providing understanding and forgiveness. To creating a partnership that can grow mentally, physically, sexually and spiritually."
20) Do not disturb. The most important tip for making your wedding night sexy and romantic? "Don't invite friends and family back to your room after the reception," says Bracken. Need we say more?
What We Did
“I know it sounds crazy, but my husband and I abstained from sex for 10 months before our wedding. It was very difficult at first, but it made our wedding night special, because it felt like we were together for the first time. We were nervous, excited…and it was a great feeling!”—Lara
“Our wedding coordinator surprised us the night of our wedding by decking out our hotel room with huge bouquets of flowers, candles and a drawn bath. We walked in after the reception was over, and the room was completely magical.”—Karen
“We were leaving on an early flight to Hawaii in the morning, so we were staying at a cheap, no-frills hotel by the airport. But my husband tried to make the ambience extra special by arranging to have champagne and flowers for me there. This was a surefire indicator that my new life with him would be filled with lots of pleasant surprises!”—Melissa
“Since I’d heard that couples never actually eat the food at their weddings, I arranged to have appetizers and plates of food from the wedding brought to our room, and a candlelight dinner for two set up. It was so romantic.” —Daniel
“I had a friend come into our room earlier in the day, and cover the bed in flower petals in the design of our new initials. I even had the petals match the colors of the wedding flowers.” —Jonathan