Wedding Ceremony Q&As

Answers to who walks when, who stands where, and other ways to make sure your ceremony is perfect.

Q: My fiancé's mother would like him to escort her to her seat at our Christian ceremony, even though her two other sons will be groomsmen and can easily walk her down the aisle. Is her request inappropriate?

A: Yes. Especially if she is aware of your feelings and in light of the fact that her two other sons will be groomsmen and one or both of them can escort her. At a Christian ceremony, the groom does not usually escort anyone — that particular duty belongs to his groomsmen. He and his best man enter from a side door in the front of the church after the priest or minister has taken his place. The groom stands next to the officiant at an angle facing the congregation with the best man one step behind him.

Perhaps there are other issues that need to be recognized and discussed with your future mother-in-law. She may have very mixed feelings about 'losing' her son, so to speak, and may want him to escort her as proof that she is still an important part of his life. Emotionally, she may be refusing to let him go and needs to know that he will do whatever is asked. Your fiancé should explain that not escorting her down the aisle does not diminish her importance in his life. Perhaps he can plan a special lunch or dinner with his mom right before the wedding. And you might assist him in putting together a photo album of his memorable moments with his mother from infancy to the present. She will no doubt be extremely touched by this sentimental gesture. And rather than focusing on who escorts her, your fiancé can emphasize how much he is looking forward to dancing with her to the special mother-son song hes chosen. That should go a long way towards easing her fears!

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