Gripe #5: Can it be that we really have nothing in common?
Although very much in love, newlyweds Valerie and Terry had always had quite diverse interests. Still, they'd heard that happy couples find plenty of mutual activities to share.
So they set out to find one: They tried working out, playing tennis, mountain biking, fishing and volunteering together. But no matter what they did, one of them would be lukewarm while the other was gung-ho. Soon, they were both frustrated.
Common interests aren't necessarily the cement that holds relationships together, says McGraw. During courtship, we might be more eager to embrace each other's activities, but not having common interests or shared hobbies is not a sign of failure. In fact, you may well be overlooking the everyday things that you do have in common.
"You're living in a home together, sleeping together and eating together, so you're automatically sharing common activities," says McGraw. "Everyday moments are bonding times that will nurture you through thick and thin."
Maybe Valerie can mountain bike while Terry spends the afternoon volunteering at a homeless shelter. Think of the intriguing conversations they'll share when they reconnect that night!