Gripe #2: How could the man I love be so irritating?
Maria always loved the fact that Bruce was a film buff. While she would be hard-pressed to recall the name of the actor she saw in a movie last week, Bruce displayed a practically encyclopedic knowledge of every movie he had ever seen, something that both impressed and delighted Maria when they were dating.
But after Bruce and Maria had been married a few months, she found herself yawning when Bruce would start in on one of his favorites at a party—and she feared their friends were finding Bruce's litany of celluloid trivia dull, too.
Don't be surprised, says Shea, if the magnet that attracts you to your mate is the very first thing to get on your newlywed nerves. Keep in mind that the qualities we admire in our mates are often ones that we don't possess.
You might love that he's a great cook, thinking he'll spur you to give up cereal for dinner, for example. But, as Maria found, the same things that are impressive or endearing pre-marriage can change after the ring goes on.
What happens is that you begin to revert to what you like—you start craving cereal for dinner again—and your mate's habits become less charming. Rest assured: This is a very common early-marriage adjustment.
What Maria should do: consider Bruce's quirks as gifts and go with it, knowing he's likely doing the same with her idiosyncrasies. She may be pleasantly surprised to find her pride in his knowledge returns.