Mom Driving You Crazy?

Put the brakes on mother-daughter angst with a few well-placed words and (gulp!) compromise.

If You Still Disagree

"I got married in the same small town where I grew up," says Colleen DeSimone, an accounting manager from Boston. "My mom had used the same florist shop for years, and raved that it was the best in town, so I agreed to go with them." Once Colleen saw samples of the arrangements to be used at her wedding, however, she was less than thrilled. "They weren't what I wanted at all. Even worse, the florist was charging three times what I wanted to pay!"

But Colleen's mother was so insistent that in the end Colleen capitulated. "Keeping the peace with Mom was more important than the money," she admits. "And by giving in on the florist, I was able to use the seamstress I wanted instead of the one Mom preferred." Did Colleen do the right thing? Yes: "A smart bride will pick her battles," says Claro. "Let your mom have her way once in a while. Consider it a gift to her."

For Miranda, that meant giving in on the videographer and choice of entree. "I knew Mom would throw a nice party, even if the details weren't exactly what I'd pictured," she says. "And avoiding confrontation with her helped me focus on what was really important—getting married to the man I love."

Buy the Books: Order How to Have the Wedding You Want (Not the One Everybody Else Wants You to Have) by Danielle Claro (Berkley) or The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Perfect Wedding by Teddy Lenderman and Gerard J. Monaghan (Alpha Books) from