Hate Being the Center of Attention? Here's How to Avoid it at Your Wedding

For many couples, the thought of being the center of attention on their wedding day can evoke feelings of anxiety and discomfort. If the idea of all eyes on you makes you cringe rather than swoon — you're not alone.

wedding ceremony
Photo: Niki Marie Photography

These wedding experts share their tips for those tying the knot but dread being in the spotlight.

"There are many ways to instill elements throughout your wedding day to calm your nerves and ease your anxiety. One of my favorite suggestions for our couples is to allow them hourly (or whenever they want to) getaways in an intimate spot set up just for the two of them. This cozy getaway can be a decked-out glamping tent with nibbles and drinks, cozy lighting or candles, aromatherapy distillers of their favorite scent, and a comfy lounge for two." —Sarah Chianese, Mangia and Enjoy!

"Let your photographer and wedding planner know about your discomfort with being the center of attention. They can work with you to create a plan that minimizes the spotlight while still capturing beautiful moments. For example, you can request candid shots or focus on capturing moments that don't require posing in front of a crowd." —Syrie Roman, Social Maven

"Include others during key moments. One of the best ways to take attention off of the couple is by ensuring that they are not actually and solely the center of attention, where possible. Couples can limit moments that require all eyes on them by involving others. For example, for key dances such as the first dance or parent dances, couples can ask the MC to limit the duration of their "part" and/or invite others onto the dance floor during the dance(s) to alleviate the public pressure." —Deliece Knights-Barnett, Dhalia Events LLC

"Say no to announcing every event or skip the ones you don't love. For cake cutting, gather your parents and do it without the fanfare of telling all your guests. Don't be afraid to skip traditions you don't feel are authentic to you if that means you can spend less time in the limelight." —Tracy Autem, Tracy Autem & Lightly Photography

"We would highly suggest doing a first look. The feedback we get from our couples who do first looks always say that seeing their partner before the guests/ceremony helped ease their nerves and made them feel more present for the rest of the day. They could take a big sigh of relief knowing they were together and had each other to lean on throughout the rest of the day." —Rebecca Love, Rebecca Love Photography

"Take the majority of your portraits before the ceremony and before guests arrive. This way, you'll avoid the potential gaggle of onlookers that could be looming if trying to take your portraits around the venue later in the day." —Jon Lemon, JC Lemon Photography

"I would plan for a long table for your bridal party for dinner vs a sweetheart table. Nothing is more uncomfortable than feeling eyes on you when you finally get a moment to eat. Having a shared table with your closest friends will help dinner feel like it's a little more private and secluded." —Marsia Nogueira, The Beauty Studio

"Try to focus on having fun! When you're enjoying being in the moment, the nerves melt away. I'm not a dancer, but when my best friends and family were on the dance floor, I was 100% there with them!" —Mandy Hess, MJM Designs

You don’t need to be an extrovert to have a fun wedding day that goes off without a hitch. Remember, it's perfectly okay to prioritize your comfort and well-being while celebrating your love. So, take a deep breath, trust in yourself and your partner, and rest assured that you can stray from any tradition(s) that don’t serve you!

Meghan Ely is the owner of wedding PR and wedding marketing firm OFD Consulting. Ely is a sought-after speaker, adjunct professor in the field of public relations, and a self-professed royal wedding enthusiast.