Wedding Invitation Q&As

Composing wedding invitations involves complex-and beautiful-etiquette guidelines. We RSVP to your urgent questions.

Dealing with Uninvited Friends and Family

Q: My fiancé and I are having a small, intimate wedding, with only family members and a few close friends in attendance. If people ask me if they’re invited to the wedding—and they’re not—what should I say? —Charleston, South Carolina

A: Just be gracious. Let them know how flattered you are that they would like to attend your wedding, and then explain that as much as you would love to have a huge crowd, you’ve decided that a smaller gathering is more suitable. You can elaborate further— limited space, budget constraints, large families—or simply leave it at that. And if it’s someone you really would have liked to attend, promise to have him or her to your home after the honeymoon to look at your wedding photos or video.

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I have a few friends who included a Save the Date magnet in their wedding announcements. It was pretty helpful - I attached the invitation to my fridge using the magnet provided, and then on the day of the wedding, when I was scrambling to get out the door on time, I was able to quickly locate the invitation for directions. For my Save the Dates, I did a postcard. However, I still like the idea of including a magnet in the actual invitations. My invitations will have a pocket for the RSVP card, and I was thinking of including a magnet of my fiance and I there. Would this be OK, and if so, what would be the proper wording on the magnet at this point - would "Save the Date" still be OK?