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Wedding Invitation Q&As

Composing wedding invitations involves complex-and beautiful-etiquette guidelines. We RSVP to your urgent questions.

By: Diane Forden

Addressing a Widow or Divorced Woman

Q: When addressing a wedding invitation to a widow or a divorced woman, should I use her former husband's first name or her first name? And is it okay to put 'and Guest' on an invitation? —Newburgh, New York

A: When addressing an invitation to a widow, it is appropriate to use either her deceased husband's first name (Mrs. John Jones) or her own first name (Mrs. Kathleen Jones).

When you are addressing invitations to a divorced woman, however, do not use her former husband's name. Many women keep their ex-husband's last names, but others revert to their own maiden names, so it would be wise to ask someone close to her which name she prefers.

Finally, it is appropriate to include the working 'and Guest' only if you're not sure.
 

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Sweetluani replied on

I have a few friends who included a Save the Date magnet in their wedding announcements. It was pretty helpful - I attached the invitation to my fridge using the magnet provided, and then on the day of the wedding, when I was scrambling to get out the door on time, I was able to quickly locate the invitation for directions. For my Save the Dates, I did a postcard. However, I still like the idea of including a magnet in the actual invitations. My invitations will have a pocket for the RSVP card, and I was thinking of including a magnet of my fiance and I there. Would this be OK, and if so, what would be the proper wording on the magnet at this point - would "Save the Date" still be OK?

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