Addressing a Widow or Divorced Woman
Q: When addressing a wedding invitation to a widow or a divorced woman, should I use her former husband's first name or her first name? And is it okay to put 'and Guest' on an invitation? —Newburgh, New York
A: When addressing an invitation to a widow, it is appropriate to use either her deceased husband's first name (Mrs. John Jones) or her own first name (Mrs. Kathleen Jones).
When you are addressing invitations to a divorced woman, however, do not use her former husband's name. Many women keep their ex-husband's last names, but others revert to their own maiden names, so it would be wise to ask someone close to her which name she prefers.
Finally, it is appropriate to include the working 'and Guest' only if you're not sure.