Designing the day of your dreams will be (hands down) one of the most exciting yet tumultuous times of your life. The unspoken truths about planning your wedding rarely come up when brides exchange stories — it’s always the perfect moments that are eagerly shared. But just like with any other milestone in life, for every good part, there’s a harsh reality to be had. Here, we reveal 12 things you may not expect to encounter.
1. You Might Fight With Your Family
Your mom or future sister-in-law might think she's being helpful by choosing your color scheme or sending you photos of wedding dresses "for inspiration," but it doesn’t always come off that way. And if either of the families are contributing financially? Well, then it’s almost guaranteed that there will be a disagreement or two — especially when it comes to big decisions, like guest lists, venues or even attire.
2. You Will Definitely Fight with Your Fiancé
If you’ve been dreaming about this day since you were a little girl, don’t be shocked (like I was) when your fiancé comes out with a few of his own expectations on how the day should go. Or maybe he’s not involved at all, and you’re feeling overwhelmed with all of the details you have to cover on your own. At some point, the stress will get the best of you, and you’ll end up battling it out with your soon-to-be. The highs and low of marriage begin long before you become official.
3. You Have No Clue What Weddings Actually Cost
Dreaming of a rooftop patio wedding under the stars in the middle of August? Or maybe it’s the winter wedding in a luxe venue that captures your attention? Either option will cost more than you ever imagined. When it comes to weddings, it’s not the pretty little details that add up — it’s the basics, like food and amenities, that take up the bulk of your budget. Be prepared for a lot of sticker shock.
4. You Won’t Ever Do Enough Research
Even though you’ve researched for what seems like forever, unexpected costs will still come up... like the fact that your stationery budget isn’t just invitations and save the dates, or the realization that you severely underestimated how many string globe lights you needed for your outdoor space. When creating your wedding budget, add 10-15% for "extras."
5. You Will Feel Awkward Asking (Anyone) for Help
Blame it on the superwoman complex that’s rampant today, but brides are inclined to think they can do everything for the wedding themselves. Or maybe you just don’t want to be a demanding bride and be deemed a "bridezilla" by your friends and family. Either way, you’ll likely feel a little uncomfortable delegating tasks — at least the first few times.
6. You Will Cry
I can certainly attest to this, and I know I’m not alone. Sometimes things don’t go the way you hoped — maybe you’re still searching for the wedding gown that gives you chills, your venue isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, or a wedding party member is just giving you a hard time unnecessarily. Stressful moments will come up, and you might shed a tear or two. Or you might just bawl your eyes out and call it a night. When you're stressed beyond belief, try to take a step back and focus on the most important thing: marrying the love of your life.
7. You Will Change Your Mind A Lot
Pinterest can be a bad influence when it comes to weddings; it’s not hard to get swept away into the Pinterest dream world. But being an indecisive bride is almost as bad as being a bridezilla, so keep the Pinterest checks to a minimum once you’ve made up your mind on things.
8. You'll Care More About Your Appearance Than Ever Before
No matter how body confident a woman is, it’s inevitable that she’ll want to look her absolute best on her wedding day, leading most brides-to-be to commit to eating better and exercising more. But the added pressure of trying to attain your perfect body can really stress you out (and don't forget that your fiancé loves you just as you are anyway!).
9. You'll Fantasize About Eloping
In the midst of managing your wedding planning, your bridal party, and maybe even some high maintenance family members, you might start to think that a city hall nuptial is the way to go — even if it’s only for a fleeting moment and you've been dreaming of your fairy tale wedding since you were a little girl.
10. You'll Get Sick of Talking About Your Wedding
A loved one asking, “So, how is the wedding planning going?” is exciting when you’re first engaged and the initial planning hasn’t started. But fast forward to a few weeks before the ceremony, and you may be tired of answering this question to everyone who asks (because everyone will ask until the day has arrived).
11. You Will Stress Over Details that Your Guests Will Inevitably Forget
Ribbon wands, diamond confetti, and love quote slideshows are the details that only you, as the bride or groom, will remember. Your guests, on the other hand? These personalized details may be lost on them the second they leave the reception — for them, it’s all about the food, the music, and the comfort of the night!
12. You Will Start to Care About What People Think
When you’re throwing what is probably the biggest party of your life thus far, it’s natural for you to think about your guests’ expectations and opinions. And while your guests do play a big part of your special day, trying to make everyone happy will backfire and cause more stress than anything else.