Who Pays for the Wedding? Modern & Traditional Cost Breakdowns

The bulk of many wedding etiquette questions center around financial issues. In past generations, the bride's family paid for the majority of the wedding expenses. The groom's lucky family got off with just the rehearsal dinner, and the groom himself paid for the honeymoon, the bride's rings, and assorted other small expenses.

That was then. Nowadays, with the costs of weddings growing and many couples marrying later when they are more likely to have careers and incomes of their own, more brides and grooms are contributing to, or even picking up entirely, the cost of the wedding. And the parents of many grooms are also contributing more than in the past; a popular option is to have the bride's family, the groom's family, and the couple each contribute one-third.

For reference, the following is the traditional breakdown of expenses:

Traditional Responsibilities & Wedding Expenses Breakdown

Bride's family pays for:

• Engagement party (optional)
• Wedding invitations and other stationery (announcements, thank-you notes, etc.)
• Services of bridal consultant or wedding planner
• Wedding gown and accessories
• Flowers for ceremony and reception sites
• Bouquets for bridesmaids
• Music
• Photography
• Videography
• Ceremony
• Reception
• Wedding cake
• Bridal party transportation to ceremony and reception
• Family's wedding attire

Groom's family pays for:

• Engagement party (optional)
• Rehearsal dinner
• Their own wedding attire

Bride pays for:

• The groom's ring
• The bridesmaids' luncheon
• Gifts for the bridesmaids
• Wedding gift for the groom

Groom pays for:

• The bride's rings
• The marriage license
• Officiant's fee
• His formalwear
• Personal flowers: the bride's bouquet, boutonnieres for wedding party, corsages for mothers and grandmothers
• Gifts for the groomsmen
• Wedding gift for the bride
• Gifts for parents
• Honeymoon
• Transportation to the honeymoon

Bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for:

• Bachelor and bachelorette parties
• Bridal shower
• Gifts for the bride and groom (can purchase individual gifts or chip in on a group gift)
• Wedding attire and accessories
• Transportation to and from wedding town or city

Discussing Wedding Payments

Open and honest communication is crucial when it comes to discussing wedding payments. Couples are encouraged to sit down with their families early in the planning process to outline expectations, financial contributions, and personal preferences, as clarity can help minimize misunderstandings and avoid unnecessary stress. Furthermore, bringing transparency to these conversations allows each party to establish a realistic wedding budget, prioritize expenses, and ensure that everyone feels comfortable with their level of participation.

It is helpful to create a detailed spreadsheet that tracks each party’s contributions, which can simplify complex cost breakdowns and accommodate any changes that arise during the planning process. By addressing these topics as a team and approaching the conversation with sensitivity, engaged couples and their families can foster cooperation, reduce tension, and create a foundation for a positive wedding-planning experience.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do the bride's parents have to pay for the wedding?

Traditionally, the bride’s parents were expected to shoulder the majority of wedding expenses, covering items such as the ceremony, reception, floral arrangements, and invitations according to longstanding etiquette. However, in recent years, this custom has evolved significantly as couples increasingly prefer to share wedding costs with both families or even pay for much of the event themselves.

Consequently, there is no strict rule that obligates the bride’s parents to pay; instead, modern wedding planning often involves open discussions among families about budget expectations and contributions. Furthermore, societal shifts—such as couples marrying later and having greater financial independence—have encouraged a more collaborative approach to dividing expenses. Most importantly, each family should feel comfortable setting boundaries that reflect their financial circumstances and personal wishes, thereby ensuring that everyone involved can celebrate the occasion without undue pressure.

Do parents pay for the wedding and give a wedding gift?

Whether the parents also give a wedding gift depends largely on personal preference and family tradition. In many cases, parents do choose to give a separate wedding present to the couple, which can range from monetary gifts to meaningful keepsakes or items for the newlyweds’ home. However, some families consider their financial support for the wedding itself to be their primary gift, especially if their contributions are substantial. Therefore, open communication about expectations is crucial, as it helps prevent misunderstandings regarding both wedding expenses and additional gifts. Ultimately, each family's approach should reflect their values, budget, and the unique dynamics of their relationship with the couple.