Mind Your Manners

When we work with clients, etiquette questions often come up in the planning process. They want to know things like where they should seat the single people, how to request money instead of gifts, whether or not they need to give favors, and do we need to let our guests bring a guest?

Yes, there are books out there that address many of these questions, but there are times when you just have to go with that gut feeling. Let’s take a look at a two situations I’ve encountered a few times and figure out how they should be handled.

First, let’s start with single guests. If you have a friend who has been dating someone for a significant amount of time, you really should let your friend bring that person. Yes, they are not engaged, but that person is an important part of your friend’s life. Who knows, they might just be headed in that direction some day. Wouldn’t you want them to do the same thing for you? If your friend just started dating someone, you might be inclined to just invite your friend based on the budget. It's not rude; it's reality. Not everyone has deep pockets today, and I’m sure your friends and family will understand. If they don't, it’s not your problem.

Now, what about requesting money instead of gifts? Many argue that this is the millennium and that many couples have lived on their own and have what they need, so why register? That’s a valid point. I went through the same thing when I was planning my wedding. Instead of just asking for money, which might make some guests uncomfortable, or going with the traditional registry, consider these two registry options:

1. You could register for big-ticket items like your honeymoon, luggage for the trip or even a pool table! Heck, I’ve had clients register for a new pool in their backyard! Or why not register for fun items, such as camping supplies, bikes, sports items and other things that are of interest to the both of you. If you don’t need the essentials, get creative with your registry. Just about anything can be added to a registry nowadays.
2. Another way to register is with your vendors, specifically photographers and videographers who produce tangible items that will last a lifetime—a meaningful expense your guests will be more than happy to help with through their gift contributions. Many of these vendors can even assist you in making a card to add to your shower invitations or save-the-date cards. With today’s average wedding budget being just under $30,000, sometimes these essential items can eat up a bit of the budget. And who wants to trust that Uncle Fred with his new hobby in photography and a beginner’s Nikon camera is going to make it happen?

It’s easy to get caught up in all the do’s and don’ts of wedding planning, but just remember, your guests are there to see you get married to the one you love. In the end that's all that counts, right?

Until next time!

xo
Sam

Posted by Samantha at 12:30 p.m.