Gripe #6: I am not your mother!
Erin and Tony dated for a few years prior to moving in together and then getting married. In all that time, they had always shared the chores. They would shop for groceries, cook and do laundry together.
But after they got married, Tony didn't set foot inside the supermarket, much less the kitchen, and Erin practically had to beg him to fold the laundry.
Photo Credit: Creatrix Photography
Uh, oh—it's those old patterns rearing their ugly heads. We all run the risk of adopting the role models we see while growing up. Perhaps Tony's mother did the all the shopping and cooking, and his father never touched a dirty sock in his marriage.
"People tend to act unconsciously," says Prince. In other words, Tony might not have planned to become a deadbeat husband, yet somehow it just sort of happened. But old patterns are made to be smashed.
What Erin should do: Gently introduce the issue without putting Tony on the defensive. She might suggest they talk about how they envision their lives together (hint: it's a good idea to do this well before the vows). Be detailed. Who will be in charge of which household tasks? What chores will they handle together?
"You might think that talking about these basic things is going to take away from the romance of the relationship. But it's all about sharing your feelings, which can only make the relationship closer."