How to Incorporate Alone Time Into Your Wedding Day

Does the thought of all eyes on you fill you with dread? Check out this guide for the introverted couple!

wedding bride and groom
Photo: Jade Sharp Photography via HoneyFitz Events

Loop your planner into the conversation. "A great way to sneak in some alone time and enjoy quiet moments on your wedding day is to loop in your wedding planner. Your planner can help squeeze in some moments for you to reconnect with each other throughout the celebration. Some other opportunities to take advantage of are a private first look or private photos following the ceremony, where the couple can enjoy an intimate cocktail hour together. It's a fun way for the couple to celebrate each other, take some time to recharge, and enjoy each other's company." —HoneyFitz Events

Keep your guest count small from the start. "While this might come as a shock to some brides and grooms, some couples dread the limelight, and the thought of all the attention on their wedding day gives them anxiety. If you are one of those people, plan ahead. Don't plan a big wedding if crowds stress you out! Keep things small and schedule time out to breathe, drink some water, and take a break. Your planner can build this in the timeline and pull you aside when the time is right. A wedding day is supposed to be fun, whether you want the attention or not." —Nora Sheils, Founder, Bridal Bliss + Co-Founder, Rock Paper Coin

Ask your photographer to help you find quiet moments together. "Everyone feels vulnerable when faced with a crowd of people, even if it's a crowd of friendly faces. Work closely with your photographer to make sure that they understand your emotions and vulnerability going into the day. Your photographer can help carve out plenty of quiet moments throughout the day in which they can steal you and your significant other away for quiet time under the guise of needing more photo opportunities. Even if you just need a breather, your photographer can be your best friend in this situation.” —Mandy Connor, Owner, Hummingbird Events & Design

bride and groom
Photo: Jessica Feiden via Hummingbird Events & Design

Consider getting ready together rather than with your wedding party. "If the thought of being the center of attention during your wedding day makes you uncomfortable, good news: there are tons of ways to sneak away and re-charge your social batteries. I recently had a couple get ready together instead of with their wedding party, which was a really sweet way for them to do a first look and spend time together all in one. Additionally, doing a first look or solo portrait shots before the wedding ceremony is a special way to get alone time." —Kari Dirksen, CEO & Lead Planner, Feathered Arrow Events

Have a first look. "Although your wedding day is one of the best days of your life, it can often come with certain moments that can be especially difficult for the more quiet and introverted couples! A first look is a great way to alleviate the pressure of 'all eyes on you.' You will be able to take time for yourselves and really cherish the moment." —Lisa Nightingale, Infinite Events

wedding first look
Photo: Simply Splendid via Luxe Event Productions

Consider a smaller ceremony. "Many of the couples I work with express their concern for being the center of attention and want to downplay that as much as possible. A great way to mitigate this is to limit your ceremony to just your immediate family and best friends (or event just your witnesses!). The smaller group can make the couple feel more at ease to speak their vows freely without feeling gawked at or uncomfortable. Although they will still be the center of attention, it's a much easier pill to swallow when it's your nearest and dearest as witnesses.” —Alexandra Denniston, Owner & Lead Planner, Eventlightenment Planning

Say your vows in private. "While making your wedding day timeline, it's essential to create some time for yourselves as newlyweds as well. I always suggest to have this time either during your first look and make sure bridal party or family are not included so it's private between you two, or to read your vows to one another after the ceremony if you're too nervous to say them at the altar. Either option lends some personal time with each other away from the crowd." —Casey Stamouli, Owner & Lead Planner, Casey & Co. Events

bride and groom
Photo: Jenny Collen via LuckEleven Events

Take a moment together after your ceremony. "We love incorporating alone time for the couple throughout the day. After the ceremony, we always recommend the couple has a minute to themselves. If the ceremony is at the venue, it is nice to have cocktails and hor d'oeuvres brought to them so they do not have to worry about eating during cocktail hour, since they will be chatting with guests. We also love to reveal the room to the couple before all of the guests enter. This gives them time to see the room without anyone in it, relish in all of the beauty of the space, and even be the first ones to try out the dance floor." —Jamie, Cape Cod Celebrations

Cut down the timing on more "people-facing" moments. "Other ways you can minimize the amount of eyes on you during your wedding could be asking your DJ to shorten your first dance and any other special dances you're planning on, so they run no more than 90 seconds. We can also ask that your DJ not announce your cake cutting, so guests aren't gathered around with their phones and clamoring for a photo. Finally, you get to set the rules around your ceremony and what you two choose to share with your guests. You may opt for a slow morning start, where you and your SO share coffee and read your written vows privately to each other. Then, when guests are present, the vows from your officiant are more call-and-response, taking the unpredictability of reciting or reading in front of a crowd off of the table completely.” —Ashley Lachney, Owner, Alston Mayger Events

wedding first dance
Photo: Kelly Cronin Photography via Cape Cod Celebrations

Create designated spaces just for you both. "Designate a special area where each of you can retreat and recharge throughout the day. From bridal suite or a shady outdoor spot, having a personal space allows you to take mini breaks, take some deep breaths, and recharge. Also, you can create a quiet space at the reception. Reserve a cozy lounge area at the reception where you can retreat when you need a break. Fill it with comfortable seating and soft lighting to create a peaceful ambiance where you can escape the crowd and recharge." —Misty Damico, CEO & Founder, Luxe Event Productions

Create activities to keep guests busy during moments you may prefer to opt out of. "An introverted couple should plan breaks in their day for just the two of them. Take 10 minutes after the ceremony to walk around together during sunset, to have a drink together in privacy — whatever you choose, it should be built into the schedule. Many venues have a private space to do this, but if they don't, ask them how they can accommodate some privacy for you to take breaks as needed. If you choose to opt out of a first dance, parent dances, or speeches, build in activities for guests in those moments instead. Everything from lawn games and photo booths to a picture scavenger hunt or piñata are fair game! It's your wedding, so incorporating fun moments in which guests are focused on the activity rather than the couple can make you feel more at ease." —Jessica Rodriguez Hanselman, Crossed Keys Estate

Create some alone time together towards the end of the evening. "We highly recommend planning alone time into the wedding day not only to get some time focused on your new spouse (which is what the day is all about!) but also to take a breather from the hustle of the day and sometimes overwhelming conversations with all of your guests and family. In addition to taking some time to do a couples photo session around a beautiful area with the photographer, you can also get away for a few minutes at the tail end of dinner before the festivities start up if the timeline allows, to take some sunset pictures as these can be so beautiful when the light is right and sun is going down, as well as have a glass of ice water or champagne together before the dancing begins." —Valarie Falvey, Kirkbrides Wedding Planning & Design

bride and groom getaway car
Photo: Oksana Miro Photography via Infinite Events


Have a private last dance together. "Consider a private last dance! This is my favorite opportunity to grab some extra time for the couple. After all of the guests have left, sneak back inside and ask that your DJ stick around for just one last song. you can slow dance quietly after all of the excitement of the day and you can truly enjoy the final moments of your wedding day in quiet peacefulness." —Mandy Connor, Owner, Hummingbird Events & Design