How to Handle a Groomzilla

Does it feel like your groom is taking over the wedding planning? Here's how to find the balance again.

Okay, we’ve all heard of the bride who lets the stress of her big day get the best of her… you know, the bride-turned-drama-queen we’ve secretly (or not so secretly) nicknamed bridezilla. That’s bad enough, but here’s another thought… What do you do if you have a groomzilla on your hands?

bride and groom
Photo: Jayd Gardina Photography

I always say getting the groom involved in the planning of your wedding is a good thing. However, what’s not so good is letting the groom take over the planning. This happens more often than you might think. It’s important to remember that the wedding is one of the most significant moments in a woman’s life. Having the groom participate in the planning is a great way to begin your relationship as a married couple. But when your groom starts making demands about your gown and accessories, your bridal bouquet, or what needs to happen when (and how), then I think the big question—besides am I marrying a groomzilla?—is, am I marrying someone who will start to take control over my life?

I’ve witnessed a number of brides lose control over their wedding. And in the process, these brides lose control over themselves. It goes without saying that this isn’t a healthy situation.

The key is to find a happy balance between each other’s roles. For example, the groom can help pick out the venue, suggest a playlist, and have a say in the timeline of the reception. But there needs to be some separation. If it’s more important to the bride, then she should have final say on such things as the color scheme, the cake design, and the table décor.

In your relationship, you each have your own personality and traits that should stand alone as well as complement your significant other’s. And the same philosophy should be used in planning your wedding. There are joint decisions that need to be made as well as individual decisions that need to be respected.