This is your day! How many times have you heard that phrase? Yet I’ve noticed that somehow when a girlfriend becomes a fiancé, she seems to lose all confidence in both the smallest and largest big-day decisions. And this is not a good place to find yourself when you’re in the midst of wedding planning.
Everybody is going to have an opinion, whether helpful or not. Isn’t it amazing how everyone wants to weigh in? That’s why I always suggest my brides keep the size of their advice entourage to a minimum. This is my number-one rule. Too many voices can make you lose sight of your vision. This is your day. Think about what the phrase means, and make it your mantra. Here, some ways to stay focused.
There are hundreds of truths you know for sure about yourself. Start by free-associating the things that bring you joy. What’s your favorite color? What are some of your favorite foods? As for me, I love the color blue, and I could eat desserts (anything sweet) every day from now until forever. Now it’s your turn—and your wedding: When you close your eyes, what do you see? Elegant touches like red roses and crystal? Or do you see yourself dancing under the stars to a bluegrass band in a field of wildflowers? What is your heart saying? Listen to it, trust it and know that every decision you’re making is not only the right one, but one that will give you one of the most beautiful and special days of your life.
Put it Down on Paper
Now that your creative bridal juices are flowing, write everything down, and start compiling a planning binder. As the process unfolds, you can start filing vendor contracts and timelines as well. Once you have your ideas, plans and inspiration in one place, you’ll discover that this organization has given you the luxury of feeling cool, calm and collected—literally! Bonus confidence-building points: having hard-copy notes, images and plans you can point to will go a long way toward keeping everyone else’s opinions to a minimum: You already know what you want, so others will be less likely to rush in with conflicting ideas.
A BFF With Benefits
Enlist a friend or bridesmaid to act as a buffer throughout the planning process. Let her be the one to keep you above the fray when it comes to navigating potential landmines such as dress shopping and catering decisions. Consider the same strategy for the big day itself, when you might need help smoothing out awkward situations: a guest whom you’d rather avoid; the mother-in-law who swoops in at inopportune moments.
Yes You Can
Trust your instincts. You automatically reach for the perfect accessories for that little black dress. Why should it be any different when it comes to the big white gown? Did you love your hair during your trial run? Not so much? Bring in a few more pictures of what you had in mind and try, try again. Your stylist wants you to feel amazing, so don’t settle until you feel like the princess you are. Be straightforward, stay organized and think positive thoughts. I always say a calm bride is a happy bride—and what is more beautiful than a happy, confident woman?
David's Rule Of Thumb: Surround yourself with a small group of positive people. Trust your gut and listen to your heart. They will never steer you wrong.
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