Biggest Bridesmaid Dilemmas: Solved!

How to handle sticky situations with grace, including what to do when you can't afford to buy the dress that the bride wants, you're the only bridesmaid who isn't close with the rest of the girls, and more.

Dilemma: The maid of honor or other bridesmaids never include you in the wedding-planning process.

Photo Credit: Pat Moyer from Wedding Chicks via

Problem Solved:

There could be a few reasons for this, and you shouldn’t take anything personally. The maid of honor may want to do everything her way or she might have been given a detailed list of what the bride wants...leaving no room for bridesmaid input. The actual reason doesn't matter; instead, just aim for a solution.

What to say: "I'd like to help out with (insert task here), so please just let me know if there's anything you need me to do." Offer to assist with specific projects rather than sending a generic "I want to help!" plea, which is less effective. If you keep getting no's, then you'll have to accept that the MOH isn't going to share the tasks. Remember, you also get to say no if she suggests plans that aren't doable (e.g. a bachelorette party you can't afford).

Don’t complain to the bride about being left out, because that’s very junior high school. Just make suggestions on a smaller scale (i.e. sending that cute bridal shower game you found on Pinterest), rather than offering to plan an event from start to finish. 

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