Planning Challenges, Simple Solutions

Let's face it: Planning a wedding is exciting, but it also requires a lot of work. Throw in a special circumstance, like doing it long-distance, keeping to a tight budget or orchestrating it all in three months, and things can get even trickier. But don't pull out your hair just yet! It is possible to plan the wedding of your dreams in spite of these challenges--and even do it painlessly. A little organization, some creativity and these smart strategies are all it takes.

A Long-Distance Affair

Planning a wedding from afar doesn't have to be a nightmare. Wherever you're based, you can pull off a gorgeous party in another zip code. Here's how.

Go surfing.

"The Internet is the best resource for planning a wedding from afar," says wedding planner Karen Erwin of St. Augustine Weddings and Special Events, in St. Augustine, Florida. You can listen to bands, take virtual 'tours' of reception facilities and peruse photographers' portfolios—all from your comfy desk chair. How to get through the millions of online sites out there? You've got to narrow down your search zone. "Start by going to the sites for the chamber of commerce and visitor and convention bureau in the area in which you wish to marry," suggests Erwin. "You'll find a wealth of information on reception venues, houses of worship and accommodations for you and your guests."

Next, scout photographers, caterers, bakers and other vendors using a search engine like Google.com or Yahoo.com. Of course, the challenge here is to keep your search narrow so you're not looking at hundreds, or even thousands, of websites, yet big enough that you have an adequate number of choices. Try typing in succinct phrases such as "St. Louis florist" or "Dallas wedding photographer." Spend a few hours narrowing down each list to two or three strong possibilities in each category. Which leads us to our next tip...

Schedule a visit.

Once you've done your homework on the Web and found possible ceremony and reception venues, caterers, florists and so on, you'll need to visit the location in person as soon as possible. Can't spare a lot of time away? Even a quick tour will do.

This allows you to evaluate products and services you saw online, and meet potential vendors and ensure that you share the same vision. You'll also be able to do things like taste menu selections and cakes, which can't be done from afar. Make the most of your visit by booking multiple appointments each day. (Smart tip: Find your way to unfamiliar places with directions from mapquest.com or Yahoo! Maps and avoid wasting precious time getting lost.)

Schedule meetings two to three hours apart (and don't forget to block out time for lunch--you need energy to keep up that busy pace). This is what Sara Dadyar and her fiancé, Tim Quinn, of Norwalk, Connecticut, did before their wedding in Bedford, New Hampshire. "In one day, Tim and I had our food-tasting at the inn where we were having our reception, the cake-tasting at another location, and then my run-through with the hair-stylist," remembers Sara. "It was exhausting, but we only had a short time in which to get everything done."

Another tip: Bring along a camera and take pictures of your favorite sites, floral arrangements and so on. You think you'll remember everything you see, but no one's memory is that good. If you have a digital camera, you can upload those pictures onto a website like ofoto.com or snapfish.com so your friends and family can weigh in.

Enlist local help.

If you're marrying in your hometown, don't think twice about delegating wedding tasks to family members and friends in the area who are willing to pitch in. "Tim's mom, who lives in New Hampshire, was a huge help," says Sara. "She measured the ballroom so I could figure out set-up options, ran the bridesmaids" dress swatch to the florist so she could color-coordinate our bouquets, and even picked up a marriage application for us." Plus, these folks likely know great locations for your party and probably have contacts for reliable vendors.

Another thought: If it's within your budget, consider hiring a local wedding coordinator. Not only will you be spared a lot of long-distance legwork, but this also might be the best way to ensure you get quality venues and vendors. And because it's the planner's job to take care of details like sending you fabric swatches for tablecloths, photographs of centerpiece concepts and tableware, reception menus and so on, you won't feel guilty asking or reminding her to do so.

Arrive early.

Plan to be at your wedding location three days before the big event--at least. This way, you'll have time to attend to any last-minute details (like confirming with the florist that your flowers will arrive on time and making any final adjustments to the seating arrangements) without feeling frazzled. And most important, use the downtime to switch into a slower gear so you'll feel relaxed and ready for the big day ahead.

Planning In Three Months Or Less

Whatever your reason for speedy nuptials, it is possible to throw a gorgeous shindig and still beat the clock. Here's how to stage your dream wedding faster than you can say "I do."

Carve out extra time for planning. Got vacation days at work? Take one or two off in the months before the wedding so you can tackle tasks that require a lot of time, like finding a dress and caterer. And if possible, scale back on some commitments that aren't related to the wedding, like extra work projects or social engagements. Your friends will understand.

Get organized.

Make sorting out your wedding details a high priority, because it can give you a sense of control and make you feel less overwhelmed. Create file folders for each wedding element, like flowers, food, bridesmaid dresses, the cake and so on, in which you can store tear sheets from magazines, brochures and catalogues (as soon as you decide what you want, you should toss what you no longer need).

Next, compile a master contact information list--preferably on your computer (keep a hard copy in case of an emergency)--so you never have to search for anything. Use e-mail as often as possible to communicate with vendors, bridesmaids and others who are helping you, then print out copies of these exchanges for your records.

Marshall your resources.

Ask friends and family to pitch in. Married friends can give vendor and venue recommendations; your fiancé can research bands and help you plan the bar menu; Mom and Sis can divvy up tasks like cold-calling photographers, videographers, limousine companies and others to check availability for your date, prices and so on. "My mother saved me a lot of time by addressing all of my invitations," says Kim Cuozzo, of Jackson, New Jersey, who became engaged in September 2002 and was married that December. "I also allowed my four bridesmaids to pick out the style of dress they wanted to wear and choose their own shoes."

If you're feeling really overwhelmed, consider hiring a professional wedding coordinator (especially if you want to host a large affair) who'll do all the legwork for you. A good pro will have experience planning an event on short notice and will be able to handle all the details efficiently.

Book your venues first.

Your biggest challenge: Getting the ceremony and reception locations you want for the date and time you desire. That's because popular wedding spots can book up more than a year in advance, explains Erwin. "So, of course, you'll have to be flexible," she adds. "Since Saturday is the most popular day of the week to get married, consider holding your wedding on a Friday or Sunday, or even a weekday, to get a better choice of venues."

Planning a church ceremony? Talk to your minister or priest right away to find out what slots are available. If you can hold both the ceremony and reception in the same place, do it. This way, you won't have to worry about coordinating the date with two locations.

Book the other major players.

As soon as the date and venue are confirmed, you can line up the other services you'll need, like a caterer (if the service isn't provided by the banquet hall), florist, band or DJ, photographer, videographer and limousine service. You may not be able to get your first choice on every count because of the short notice, and you'll just have to accept that. But if you decide which element is most important to you—say, hiring a first-rate photographer and videographer—you can plan to invest more time on that particular effort, upping the chances of a payoff.

Speedy invitations.

To get the best turnout, send invites at least six weeks before the wedding. These tricks will help you make the deadline, says wedding planner Charlene Hein, owner of Everlasting Memories by Char in Lakewood, Colorado:

• Order invites from a company that will overnight them once they're printed.
• Request that the envelopes be sent ahead of the rest of the order. You can address them while the other items are being printed.
• Organize an envelope-stuffing assembly line with a few volunteers. You'll be finished in no time.

Keeping The Costs Under $5,000

The average wedding in the United States sets couples back a whopping $20,000, but with a little ingenuity you can plan a gorgeous affair for a whole lot less. Here's how to stretch $5,000 further than you ever thought possible (For even more tips, check out Bridal Guide's How to Plan the Perfect Wedding...Without Going Broke (Warner Books), by our editor-in-chief, Diane Forden, which offers great cost-cutting advice.

Prioritize.

Deciding what wedding elements matter most is the first rule of planning a great affair on a four-figure budget, says Erwin. "Sit down with your fiancé and talk about what's important to you, and then focus your resources on those areas," she says. If music really matters to you, but flowers aren't as important, then your budget should reflect that.

Also, accept that you will have to compromise and cut back on some areas more than others, she adds. For example, after getting expensive quotes from florists, Celine Hagan, of East Brunswick, New Jersey, decided that spending a chunk of change on a bouquet wasn't important to her. "Instead of paying the florist $50, I bought a few calla lilies myself and tied them together with a pretty ribbon," she says. The final cost: about $12.

Be flexible.

Saturday is the most popular day of the week to get married, which means it's also the most expensive. Keep reception costs in check by having your wedding on a Friday or Sunday instead. You can save as much as 40% on your catering costs this way, says Beth Hickman of Storybook Weddings in Sacramento, California. And consider getting married during the "less popular" months of the year--November through March. Businesses that aren't busy may be willing to cut a deal rather than risk having no booking at all.

Think outside the ballroom.

Instead of holding your affair in a banquet hall or hotel, consider non-traditional venues, like museums, lighthouses, mansions and botanical gardens, which can usually be rented for a small fee ($500 or so on average, as opposed to the thousands of dollars you might spend to book a hotel space). Doing this could save you money on decorations as well. A garden setting, for instance, doesn't require additional centerpiece blooms (you might use votive candles instead), and a museum's fabulous art gives your guests plenty to look at.

Warning: Make sure your venue of choice has had experience doing weddings, or you may be setting yourself up for disaster. Also, confirm that it has all the equipment you'll need (like tables, chairs, china, stemware and so on) for the party--it's incredibly expensive to rent all of that, says Erwin, who adds that, for this very reason, having a backyard wedding at a private home is not a good idea for a couple on a tight budget.

Once you've found the right place, and if your religion allows, hold both your ceremony and your reception there. Paying fees for two different venues will only stress your budget. Another plus: You can save on transportation costs, since you won't need a car service or limousine to go from the ceremony to the reception.

Cut the guest list.

This is a major money-saver, say wedding experts, in part because the cost of food and drink is usually the biggest part of the budget (around 40% or so). For example, if the per-person catering cost is $50, whittling down your guest list by just 10 people can save you $500. Plus, since tables seat 8 to 10 people on average, cutting that number of guests means you need one less centerpiece, 10 fewer invitations and so on. These savings will quickly add up.

Do the unexpected.

Get more for your money by skipping the traditional, pricey sit-down dinner reception in favor of a more innovative option where the food and beverages will cost a lot less. For instance, plan a morning ceremony, followed by a brunch reception at which you serve mimosas instead of a range of liquors, says Hickman. (Note: Alcohol eats up a significant chunk of your budget, and people tend to drink less during the day.)

You could also schedule your wedding ceremony for 2 p.m., to be followed by hors d"oeuvres and champagne. Or, for a glamorous nighttime affair, have a decadent dessert reception, suggests Erwin. "The ceremony must start at 8 p.m. or later so guests know not to expect dinner," she says. Offer a luscious dessert bar with a range of sweets and include coffee, tea and cordials.

Find alternatives to pricey pros.

When planning her July wedding, Celine Hagan found a number of ways to throw a great party while keeping costs down. First, she enlisted the help of friends and family. Her sister, a graphic designer, created the invitations, a hairstylist friend gave her a discounted "do, and another pal, who works at a bakery, gave her a wedding cake as a gift.

Another money-saver: Tap the talent at a local college or vocational school. "You can often find talented musicians for pennies on the dollar by hiring a college's classical music group to perform at your wedding," notes Hickman. But don't skimp on a photographer or videographer, advises Erwin. "When the party's over, your photos and/or video will be the only lasting reminder of your big day, so hiring a first-rate pro is money well-spent," she says.

Budget Breakdown:

Celine Hagan's wedding
Venue fee: $500 (it was held in a garden on a college campus)
Catering: $2,000
DJ: $375
Photographer: $1,800
Flowers: $300
Hair: $25
Makeup: $0 (she did her own)
Cake: $0 (gift from a friend)
Dress and accessories: $0 (gifts from Celine's mother)
Invitations: $0 (gift from Celine's sister)
Tuxedo rental: $0 (free for the groom with rental fees for his five groomsmen)
TOTAL: $5,000