My fiancé Edwin is quiet, loves intimate gatherings, and thinks less is more. I am loud, have absolutely no filter, and believe more is more. After getting engaged in 2007, we decided to meet somewhere in the middle by throwing a sophisticated dinner party in Italy for our wedding. Contracts were signed, money was converted into euros and our wedding was set for Sept. 25, 2009 in San Gimignano, a small town in the heart of Tuscany, whose name I've always mispronounced (much to the dismay of our Italian wedding planner). 

San Gimignano Villa
Photo Credit: Exclusive Italy Weddings

We were beyond ecstatic with our choice, but we didn't tell anyone about our brilliant plan until a few weeks later, which is when reality set in. Try telling your aerophobic parents that they'll need to travel a few thousand miles in order to attend their youngest daughter's nuptials in a foreign country. After a few glasses of cabernet, it was clear to me that this wasn't exactly a bright idea anymore. Breaking the news to my in-laws proved to be just as challenging. They had a hard time accepting the idea of an intimate soirée; we truly did not wish to invite our entire neighborhood to the celebration. Besides, we'd much prefer to wed in the land of amore, rather than our hometown of Jacksonville, FL.

Join us every Friday for our Q&A column, where editor-in-chief Diane Forden answers one reader's biggest etiquette question.

Q: I am so upset. My wedding is only four months away, and my matron of honor and my bridesmaid are being uncooperative about scheduling dress fittings, even though I've asked them several times. They are not showing any interest in my wedding and I find myself wishing I could ask other friends to be my attendants instead. What should I do? 

A: Unfortunately, your dilemma is much more common than you may realize. Brides are often faced with difficult attendants who show little or no interest in assisting with the wedding planning or, as in your case, are uncooperative with the dress selection and fittings (even after the bride has taken color, style and budget into consideration). And, just like you, many brides soon regret having asked them to be a part of the wedding party.

But this doesn't mean that you should allow your attendants to make you miserable. After all, you have asked those closest to you to share in your happiness, not to negate it. Besides, with all of the details involved in planning a wedding, you certainly do not need added stress. Perhaps these women regret having agreed to be in your wedding and are looking to get out of it.

You can ask them to step down — provided you are tactful. Simply state the following: "I am sorry that you cannot seem to find the time to attend a dress fitting. Although I will miss having you in the wedding party, I understand if you want to back out. Is that what you have in mind?"

Do you desire a classic look for your big day? If so, consider lace; it is ultra-romantic and feminine and sure to lend a polished elegance to your look. Moreover, lace is timeless and will look good in pictures 50 years from now. For today's bride, there are generally a few different laces you will often find on a wedding dresses:

Chantilly Lace: It is known for being a lighter and finer lace. It’s nearly always a soft floral pattern.

Alençon Lace: This lace is better distinguished by having a thicker and bolder pattern. This lace features filled-in motifs outlined with a heavier silky cord that create a raised outer edge on a sheer net background.

Guipure Lace (or Venise Lace): This lace is a heavy large patterned lace without any ground mesh. Instead of being woven on a net background like Chantilly or Alençon lace, Guipure laces have silky threads connecting the motifs.

Whichever lace you choose, you are sure to look stunning. Pair a lace dress with a classic rose bouquet, pearl earrings and a soft updo and you are sure to be a picture of perfection.

—Naima DiFranco

Now that we’re getting close to the main event, my mom is becoming much more involved in the planning process. While I appreciate her eye for detail, it’s making the process more complicated. You know the saying, “Too many cooks spoil the broth?" It’s just as true when it comes to bridal plans.

My mom is a sophisticated lady, and her main concern is that everything looks elegant. I think she’s asked me three times if the caterers will use chafing dishes instead of foil tins. She’s all about the details, while my dad is more of a big picture kind of guy. He’s really created this thing from scratch, so he has yet to work out the finer points. Because he’s in such close contact with many of the vendors, he trusts them and assumes they know what they’re doing, while my mom questions everything.

Until we live in a perfect world free from disagreements, here are my tips for dealing with contradicting forces:

1. Stand up for what you want, even if you think it’ll ruffle a few feathers.

It’s important to be straightforward about what you like or don’t like. Recently, my dad and I were finalizing the catering contract and I ran through the expenses with my mom, who immediately raised concerns about a minor detail. Next thing you know, my dad calls to tell me that we’re ditching this caterer to find a new one, per my mom’s advice.