Top 10 Hilarious Things My Fiancée Says

Once I discovered @ThatsMyFiancee on Twitter, I knew I had stumbled upon a comedic goldmine. Chris Winfield, the brave groom behind the account, documents his wedding-planning experiences with light-hearted, refreshingly honest messages that are 140 characters or less. "If the wedding is going to be fun, the planning should be also," Chris said. Here, he shares 10 exclusive things he's learned so far (Editor's Note: To my fiancé Jason, don't get any ideas!).

Take it away, Chris!
I dated my fiancée for three years, and during that time, we never had any drama. We considered ourselves to be good communicators. All of that changed once I proposed: I was completely unprepared for "WEDDING MODE." No one told me that there was a whole new set of rules a groom has to learn in that state — her rules. 
I've learned the secret to surviving The Mode: Learn from your mistakes, be helpful when you can, be quiet when you can't, and try not to lose your sense of humor (I mean, really try.) 
To help all of the grooms that will come after me, I started @ThatsMyFiancee to write about my journey. Wish me luck — I'm getting married in May!


1. Do NOT comment when she says, "I looked at wedding dresses online for hours. I'm completely exhausted."

2. I said, "Save-the-date idea: An actual date inside a Ziploc container." If her expression to me was an emoticon, it would be:  -_-
3. She rejected my idea of creating tuxedo pants where the legs zip off to become shorts for the reception. #backtothedrawingboard
4. She wants to "make a grand entrance." I suggested that if we have a beach wedding she should ride in on a dolphin. #idearejected
5. Someone asked, "How'd you two meet?" She said, "Online." They asked, "What site?" I said, "eBay."
6. For a wedding DJ, I suggested DJ Jazzy Jeff. She said, "He ACTUALLY might be available."
7. She asked, "What should we do instead of throwing rice?" I said, "Quinoa is a healthier choice." #idearejected
8. When she said that she wanted a "whimsical" but "elegant" font for the wedding invites, she didn't mean "comic sans." #gotit
9. My "Can't we just have the whole wedding reception on Skype?" idea is a no-go.
10. We are totally on the same page. "Butterfly Kisses" will NOT be played at the reception.
thats my fiancee
Wedding planning is serious business. Don't let Chris' black and white photo fool you—he's a funnyman.
P.S. And yes, she knows about this. It would have been too dangerous for her NOT to know. Anytime she starts to think that the Twitter account isn't a good idea, I just say, "I was thinking about place cards. What do you think if we…" and I'm safe.
—Stefania Sainato