Wedding Invitation Q&As

Composing wedding invitations involves complex-and beautiful-etiquette guidelines. We RSVP to your urgent questions.

Dealing With Guests Who Don't RSVP

Q: What should I do about people who still won’t tell me if they will attend my wedding, even after I’ve followed up several times? I only have a couple of weeks left, and my caterer needs the final head count. —Hartford, Connecticut

A: Go with the number of RSVPs you have and give that head count to your caterer. You shouldn’t have had to phone anyone repeatedly, but the fact that some people still can’t make up their minds is inexcusable. If any of your undecided guests should call you at the last minute with a “yes,” you can either inform them that you’ve already given your caterer the head count, or if it’s important to you to have them at the wedding, say you will do your best to accommodate them. If you decide on the latter, let your caterer know immediately and update your seating plan.

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I have a few friends who included a Save the Date magnet in their wedding announcements. It was pretty helpful - I attached the invitation to my fridge using the magnet provided, and then on the day of the wedding, when I was scrambling to get out the door on time, I was able to quickly locate the invitation for directions. For my Save the Dates, I did a postcard. However, I still like the idea of including a magnet in the actual invitations. My invitations will have a pocket for the RSVP card, and I was thinking of including a magnet of my fiance and I there. Would this be OK, and if so, what would be the proper wording on the magnet at this point - would "Save the Date" still be OK?