How to Deal with Friends Not Invited to the Wedding

What to do when people ask if they're invited — and they're not

Q: My fiancé and I are having a small, intimate wedding, with only family members and a few close friends in attendance. If people ask me if they’re invited to the wedding—and they’re not—what should I say?

A: Just be gracious. Let them know how flattered you are that they would like to attend your wedding, and then explain that as much as you would love to have a huge crowd, you’ve decided that a smaller gathering is more suitable. You can elaborate further — limited space, budget constraints, large families—or simply leave it at that. And if it’s someone you really would have liked to attend, promise to have him or her to your home after the honeymoon to look at your wedding photos or video.

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