Q: Help! I found out that my maid of honor is planning my bridal shower at a restaurant and has invitations printed with the menu and prices listed inside. Are the shower guests required to pay for their food and drink? Isn’t the maid of honor supposed to take care of all these expenses? I don’t know what to do!
A: The first thing you should do is make sure those invitations do not get mailed! Bridal shower guests should never be expected to pay for their meal. Let your maid of honor know that you are aware of the shower preparations and ask if she and the bridal party can re-think their plans. Bridal-shower guests are coming to celebrate with you and will bring gifts to help you and your fiancé begin your life together as a married couple. Asking anything more of them is unacceptable.
Traditionally, the bridal shower is arranged and paid for by the maid of honor and the bridesmaids, good friends or relatives. In many instances, the bride’s parents offer to contribute to the costs to help alleviate the financial burden for the bridal party (especially if the shower is held in a restaurant). So, if money is a factor, and your bridal party alone is paying for the shower, they might consider having it in someone’s home to keep expenses down. A brunch, pool party or barbecue creates a fun, informal atmosphere that will be enjoyable, relaxing and appreciated by all.