We all want to believe that nothing bad will ever happen in our lives…especially when planning such a joyous occasion as a wedding. But all too often, a real-life crisis occurs that can throw everything into a tailspin. I was reminded of that this week when I received an e-mail from a reader who had been happily planning her wedding, due to take place next year, when her father suddenly passed away. “So here I am trying to continue planning when a part of me doesn’t even care about it right now,” she wrote. She and her dad were very close and he had been excited about her big day. He loved talking to her about what he would wear and who would be on the guest list. Now, it’s hard for her to think about wedding details and she’s also worried that she won’t be able to enjoy the day without him there. What should be one of the happiest times in her life is now anything but that.
Well, my heart goes out to this bride-to-be and to any of you who are suddenly faced with an unexpected turn of events that can shake you to the core. My advice to her was to think of how much her father would want her to be happy and how much he would want her to have a beautiful wedding. She should also lean on her fiancé for his love and support and share her sorrow and feelings with other family members and friends. It always helps to talk things through and to seek out any help or advice from others. Day by day it may become a bit easier for her.
And, on the wedding day, there are a number of ways she can honor her dad. She can include a dedication to him in the wedding program or ask a family member to recite one of his favorite verses or poems during the ceremony. Many couples feature photographs of their parents’ and grandparents’ weddings on the guest book or escort card table or have a loved one’s favorite tune played during the reception. One bride even included her mother’s favorite flower in the bouquet. Your remembrance need not be melancholy: It’s simply a way to honor the memory of your loved ones. When my sister married several years after my father passed away, she was escorted down the aisle by my brother but carried my father’s photo and rosary with her to keep him close at heart. We missed my dad terribly that day but her wedding did turn out to be a happy and fun occasion—and it’s certainly what my dad would have wanted for her.
Needless to say, I hope that none of you are faced with any of life’s harsh realities during this time and that all continues to go well for you. But, should a crisis occur in your life, take comfort in the love you share with your fiancé and focus on the support all around you. And remember that life’s joyful events, such as a wedding, serve to remind us of the love we were so fortunate to receive from those who have left us and reaffirm that love and hope for the future.
Posted by Diane at 11:54 a.m.
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