It's His Wedding, Too!

...so why is he letting you call all the shots? Here's how to get him motivated to plan a wedding that reflects you both.

Mine his memory

Ask your fiancé what he remembers about weddings he's attended. What did he love or hate? Which wedding stands out the most, and why? At which wedding did he have the most fun? The answers to these questions will give you both a better idea of what is important to him. "We went to two weddings during the year we were engaged, and we did a lot of observing at them," says Rachel. "One of the best parts was whispering to each other during the evening and then rehashing everything afterwards. It was a lot of fun, and learning each other's preferences brought us closer together," she says.

Discuss your relationship

Any way that you can personalize your ceremony or reception will not only add to your guests' enjoyment, but will also make planning more fun and meaningful for you. Heather was able to do this, thanks to one of Mike's ideas: "We both love golf, so when he suggested we give golf balls and tees with our names and wedding date on them as favors, I immediately agreed."

Jennifer Hardy, 29, of Walled Lake, Michigan, and her fiancé, Phil, have put a twist on the reception playlist with a nontraditional tune that hits home. "Since we're both high school teachers and we met at the school where we work, we've requested that the DJ play Van Halen's ‘Hot for Teacher!'"

Shy away from tradition

Amy and Steve's Washington, D.C., wedding attracted many out-of-town guests who were unfamiliar with the city. So the couple opted to forego the rehearsal dinner and try something different: They rented a coach bus, hired a tour guide and gave their friends and family a "Monuments by Moonlight" tour of the town. "The guests loved it, and it was nice for us to simply relax and mingle before the big day," says Amy. They also personalized their reception with wine choices. "We offered a California red, since that's where Steve is from, and a Long Island white, to represent where I grew up."

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