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My daughter has asked me to have a social get together, pre wedding luncheon party for guest who will not be at the wedding. She lives out of state, and wants to come back home with her future husband and bridesmaids. ( there are only two ) She wants to invite people from the church, and people who have known her for a long time. The wedding is five hours away, so these people will not be invited. Is this proper? How can I pull this off?

Asking people who are not invited to the wedding to come to a lunch celebrating your daughter’s upcoming marriage might be a bit awkward. Will they all understand that they’re not invited to the wedding? They may assume this is a bridal shower and feel obligated to bring gifts. Keep in mind that even though the wedding is five hours away, people who are close to a bride or groom will often make arrangements to attend and your invitees may be offended that they are being asked to a lunch and not to the wedding itself. My advice is to have a post-wedding gathering and invite church members and others to your home to celebrate your daughter’s marriage. I’m sure they will enjoy having an opportunity to offer their congratulations and to meet your daughter’s new husband. Gifts aren’t required either but it’s my guess that most will bring either a hostess gift or a memento for the couple. -Diane Forden, Editor in Chief of Bridal Guide