Being excited about your wedding is normal, but when you let it become an obsession, it totally takes the fun out of the experience! Too many brides allow their big day to become their all-day, everyday reason for living — annoying everyone around them in the process — and often, they don't even realize that they've gotten that bad. Read on for all the warning signs (and ways to reclaim your sanity).
Photo Credit: Hoffer Photography
1. You promised no wedding talk, but you do it anyway.
This can happen during date night or girls’ night out, and it frustrates the people who want to spend time with you.
How to Dial It Down: Tell loved ones, “If I start talking about the wedding, just tell me to stop.” This shows that you're aware you have a problem, and you'll all get a laugh each time they "catch" you veering into wedding mania. Have a sense of humor about it and friends and family will lighten up, too. What doesn't work? Giving them a dollar each time you mention the big day—that could get very expensive!
2. You’re doing a lot of research but not making any decisions.
For instance, you’ve visited 10 floral shops for consultations, tried on 50 dresses, looked at 17 invitation designers’ portfolios…but you haven’t booked anything. You're too afraid to commit to one style or choice to the point where the pressure is driving you (and your groom) nuts.
How to Dial It Down: Start by jotting down a very detailed priority list for each major wedding decision you'll have to make (everything from your invitation to your cake), so that you and your groom both know your likes and dislikes. Armed with your wishlist, make a rule that you'll research lots of vendors online, but only schedule consultation appointments with the top three to five who meet all of your criteria. This organized approach will help you stop the indecisive cycle and find what you truly want.
3. You’re checking the weather report for the countries where your exotic flowers are grown.
The exception, of course, is if there’s the threat of a hurricane or some other natural disaster before your wedding, which would make checking weather reports understandable. But checking weather.com in Ecuador to see how the roses are doing? That’s just overdoing it.
How to Dial It Down: Accept that weather reports are not set in stone and one day’s predictions could shift from rain to sun and clouds to flurries. Limit your weather check-ins to a few days prior to the wedding and take the predictions with a grain of salt. Instead of fretting 24/7, spend your time planning a terrific Plan B in case the weather doesn't cooperate. When you know you have an alternate plan and a wedding coordinator who can handle it, you won't have to worry so much.
4. You’re telling friends that they can’t choose the same vendors or color palette as you.
Or you get angry when they've already selected similar preferences, even though they're getting married before you.
How to Dial It Down: Do a quick image search online and you'll see that no two orange-themed weddings look alike. Vendors create customized, one-of-a-kind details for each event they work on. Even if your bestie hires the same wedding planner and chooses tangerine as her main hue (like you), her day is going to be vastly different. Besides, no one in your social circle should look down on you because of something as trivial as this! If they do, then you need to find better friends.
5. You text your wedding coordinator ten times a day.
You may think you’re being attentive to detail, but texting your planner at 2 a.m. will do more harm than good, regardless of whether your wedding is a year from now or tomorrow.
How to Dial It Down: Ask your wedding coordinator what time of day is best to reach him/her with any questions you might have. Also take into account whether they prefer that you call, text, or email them. Write your urgent-seeming issues down on a list throughout the day. Seeing them on paper and getting it off your chest may even help you solve your own problem. Only contact them outside of working hours if it's truly a life-or-death emergency.
6. You’re planning your own bridal shower to "make it easy on your friends."
You started off just sending a few images and ideas, but you’ve escalated to "I’ll just do it" or "I know what I want for the cake, so I’ll just order it." If your maid of honor and bridesmaids just look at you with blank stares and reply, "who are you?" then you know.
How to Dial It Down: Only give your bridal party crucial input (i.e. "I'd prefer not to have an outdoor party, since I'm allergic to bees and it'll be too hot in August). Your MOH and 'maids need to know all of the essential info so that they can plan a party you'll love. Certainly tell them who you'd like to include on the guest list, but leave the theme, color, menu, games, and other details up to them. This is the fun part, so don't steal their enjoyment. Just trust them.