Thank-You Notes
This is the task that many couples stall on, leaving those boxes of ultra-pretty thank-you cards on their dining room table for weeks. Be prompt: you’ll save time by acknowledging gifts received before the wedding within two weeks. Thank-you notes for gifts received on or after the wedding day should be sent within one month. As tempting as it may be to send e-mail thank-yous, it’s still most proper to send hand-written notes. (And to hand-write the envelopes.) The best way to remove the dread from this overwhelming task is to break it down into baby steps. You’ll both be more motivated to dive in if you make a list of easy-to-complete assignments — indicating how long each takes to get done—and reward yourselves after each work session.
Photo Credit: Thank You Cards by Target
1. Do it now for later use. Create an organized, complete list of who gave what, and who did what, since you’ll send thank-you notes to those who helped with your planning or lent you valuable items. Don’t forget to list your wedding vendors as well. Get everyone’s current addresses and guests’ dates’ names, too.
2. Fine-tune your recipient list, researching outstanding addresses. Time: 1-2 hours.
3. Order your thank-you cards (if you haven’t already). Time: 3 to 4 hours to browse, design and order —and may take 1-3 weeks to arrive. (It’s best to order your thank-yous when placing your wedding invitation order.)
4. Decide who will write which notes, such as “I’ll do my side and the vendors, you do your side.” If one of you has better handwriting, that person writes, while the other reads off names, addresses and text to speed things along.
5. Assemble supplies. Time: 1-2 hours.
- Postage stamps
- Three to five new fine-tipped pens in a color coordinating with your thank-you card design
- Copies of your insert wedding photos, if not featured on your notes themselves
- Printed sample of wording you’ll use in your thank-you notes, for easy writing (For cash gifts: Dear ______, Thank you so much for the generous gift. We plan to put it toward our first home purchase. We loved seeing you and having you with us on our big day! Love, ________. For other gifts, mention the item and how it will be used: We look forward to sharing a toast with you with these lovely wine glasses.)
6. Set up your workspace. Time: 1/2 hour. Clear off the dining room table, and give it a good cleaning to remove any dirt, dust or oils. Spread out your boxes of cards, envelopes and inserts, and set out a basket into which you’ll place the finished notes.
7. Decide on the best time to get to work. Will you set aside time each weeknight evening after dinner to write your notes? Each Saturday morning? A designated time is a better plan than springing “Hey, let’s write some thank-yous!” on your husband the moment he gets home.
8. Determine your workload. Here’s a guide to help you figure out how much you can expect to accomplish at each session:
- 20 notes: 20 to 40 minutes
- 30 notes: 30 to 60 minutes
- 40 notes: 60 to 120 minutes (time has expanded to allow for breaks)
- 50 notes: 80 to 140 minutes
9. Reap some rewards. After each session, make cappuccino, go out for frozen yogurt, give each other foot rubs, etc.
Photo Credit: Checkerboard
Don't go to the post office just yet! Wait until you’re done with all of your thank-you notes before mailing any. This way, you can check your pile of completed envelopes against your master list to be sure you haven’t forgotten anyone. Sending as you go creates confusion. Hearing “Did we do Paul and Marika’s yet?” could stress you out.
Photo Selection
When you have over 1,000 photos on your professional photographer’s online photo gallery, it can be overwhelming to choose your picks for your albums and portraits. Expect to spend 2-3 hours on the first pass (where you’re just looking), and 6-12 hours making your selects. Don’t stall and don’t stress. Here are the steps to making this task easier, quicker and more fun.
Photo Credit: Amyrae Photography
1. Make your shopping list: Your album, your parents’ albums, your portraits, portraits for parents, grandparents and bridal party members.
2. Pick the best time to work on this task together, whether it’s after work, in the evenings, weekend mornings or weekend evenings.
3. Agree to review photos section by section, not all of them at once. For instance, plan to view pre-wedding photos, then ceremony photos, post-ceremony portraits, cocktail party photos, then reception photos.
4. Print out pages numbered 1 to 100, 101 to 201 and so on. Go through each section of your online photo album to cross off numbers on all the photos you DON’T like. This narrows your contenders and makes your picks far easier during the next sessions. If you do see photos you love, star them on the site or circle them on your numbered list to look at later.
5. As you review each section, you can then compare similar shots side by side to make your final picks, and code them with A for your album, P for parents’ albums, F for framed photo, etc. Or use different colored highlighter pens to mark your printed photo numbers for your album, portraits, etc.
6. Organize photos sent by others. Friends and family will take plenty of photos at your wedding, and will send you their online galleries. Create a folder in your e-mail program where you’ll store the notifications and links to friends’ galleries, so that you can go through and order your favorites from those collections. Insider tip: Look for discount codes on retailmenot.com or from Shutterfly and other e-photo sites to get money-saving offers like 100 prints for free, 50% off or free shipping.
Next: Cleaning and Preserving Your Gown >>
Your wedding gown’s future is in your hands.
Cleaning and Preserving Your Gown
- Ask your friends which gown preservation specialist they used, and if they were happy with the service.
- Ask your wedding coordinator as well, since she’ll know the best (and not-so-great) companies in town, and may be able to get you a discount.
- Once you’ve chosen your company, bring your gown in to go over any spots and stains that need special attention. (Insider tip: Decide if you’ll have your veil and headpiece preserved as well, since your future daughter may want to wear just your veil and not your gown.)
- Be sure to keep your receipt in a safe place.
- When your gown is returned to you after it’s been preserved and packed, make space for it in a bedroom closet—never in an attic or basement where heat, cold, humidity or water can get at it. Sliding it all the way to the side of your closet and standing it on end is the most effective use of space.
Photo Credit: K.T. Merry
Donating Your Gown
Gown donation companies often sell gowns to raise money for charities, such as Brides Against Breast Cancer. When you donate your gown, mail it in with tracking information and insurance coverage to protect against loss, and keep your receipt so that you can submit it with your tax return for a write-off.
Re-Designing Your Gown
Go ahead and wear it differently! If you wish to have a skilled seamstress re-design your gown by cutting it down to cocktail length, dyeing it black or another color, removing sleeves, etc., ask your wedding coordinator for suggestions. Collect images of dresses you like so that you can create a new style with your seamstress.
Next: Returning Borrowed Items >>
Returning Borrowed Items
If you borrowed any decor items, such as platters or vases, they will need to be cleaned and returned to the lenders quickly and in great condition, with a separate thank-you note and perhaps a small gift. Pack items in boxes, and use protective padding for breakables. Create a worksheet listing lenders’ names, items lent and date returned.
Most bridal registries feature a “completion program,” which allows you, post-wedding, to buy your remaining gift items at a 10%, 15% or greater discount. This is a fun task that can send you to the store, armed with a stack of gift cards, filling your cart with small appliances, linens and other goodies. You may be able to check out owing nothing. Insider tip: Read the fine print on your completion program: Some discounts only apply to full-priced, not on-sale, items.
Save all the gift cards you get as shower presents to use for completion program purchases. Ka-ching!
Sharon Naylor is the author of over 35 wedding books, including 1001 Ways to Save Money and Still Have a Dazzling Wedding, sharonnaylor.net.