How to Word the Invitation: Deceased Parent

Here's how to phrase the wedding invite in this tricky situation.

Q: Even though my mother passed away when I was ten years old I would still like to include her name on my wedding invitation. Is this proper and, if so, how should the invitation be worded?

A:
 It's perfectly fine to include your mother's name on the invitation, as long as it does not appear is if it were being sent by her. Instead, you have two options: The invitation can be issued by you and your fiancé and read:

Together with their families,
Jennifer Drake,
daughter of John Drake and the late Barbara Drake,
and
Brian Connors,
son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Connors,
request the honour of your presence at their marriage,
etc.

Or you can opt for more traditional wording:

The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of
Jennifer Drake,
daughter of John Drake and the late Barbara Drake,
to
Brian Connors,
son of Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Connors,
etc.

Many brides and grooms in your situation acknowledge a deceased mother (or other relative) on their wedding day with a loving tribute in the wedding program, a poem or reading recited in her memory at the ceremony, or a meaningful song played at the reception. The sentiment expressed in any of these gestures will not only contribute to the heartfelt emotions of the day but will also be recognized and appreciated by other family members and guests.

Q: My fiancé’s dad, girlfriend and grandparents are hosting our wedding. On my invitations I also want to include the names of my deceased mom, stepdad and father. How should the invitation be worded?

A: You have quite a few names to mention, but I can certainly understand your wish to honor all your loved ones who have passed on. Your fiancé’s dad and girlfriend are on the first line, followed by his grandparents. Your mom and stepdad are listed below your name, followed by your father. Here’s how your invitation should read:

Mr. David Smith and Ms. Susan Jones
and
Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Smith (grandparents)
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Andrea Wynnfield
daughter of
the late Mrs. Ann Blake and Mr. John Blake
and
the late Mr. Eric Wynnfield (your dad)
to
Robert Joseph Smith, etc.

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