So imagine our surprise when we opened the heavy wooden doors to find enormous dehumidifiers drying the foyer. Upstairs, yellow emergency tape was stretched across the entrance to the library, the room in which we were to marry, and piles of wet books were strewn about the floor. The site manager wrung her hands as she told us there had been a fire, then became curt when we asked if the repairs would be completed in time for our wedding. "We have to fly in a woodworker to repair the damage," she spat. "I have no idea how long this will take."
Ah, the best laid plans...The reality is, no matter how organized you are, a last-minute mishap can threaten to ruin your celebration. While Chris and I were lucky that the damage to the mansion was repaired by our wedding day and our party went off without a hitch, or even a hint of smoke, there are measures you can take to protect yourselves from even the worst unforeseen events. Here's how to guarantee some peace of mind for your big day.
Disaster Scenario #1: A Vendor Doesn't Deliver
Summer Facchini found a fabulous vineyard site for her July 2004 wedding in Portland, Oregon. Several months after she booked it, however, the catering manager informed her that the only alcohol she could serve would be the vineyard's own wines. Frustrated that she wouldn't be able to offer cocktails or even beer at the rocking party she was hoping to have, Summer decided to cancel her contract. Since the site manager had failed to inform her of the alcohol policy at the time she booked, her deposit was returned.
But now Summer had a larger problem: She had to find a new venue for her reception, and she knew she would have trouble because July and August are the most popular months for weddings in Portland. After many calls, the anxious bride lucked out: A lovely manor had an opening. "Those were a rough few months," says Summer. "But, in the end, it all fell into place, and it was wonderful."
Summer's story has a happy ending, but there's no denying that putting your faith in a wedding vendor always carries a risk, as Bridal Guide's creative director, Robin Zachary, learned while planning her wedding several years ago. She made a $400 deposit for a gown at a boutique that had been around for decades—but about a month before her big day, the store suddenly went out of business.
"I tried calling the shop to see if the dress was ready, and the phone kept ringing and ringing," says Robin. "I finally drove over there and saw that the store had been totally cleared out. After the shock wore off, I found a new dress at a wonderful bridal salon that rushed the alterations for me. The weird thing is that the original boutique owner called me three days before my wedding, saying she had my dress and explaining that a family emergency had necessitated the closing of the store. When I told her about how I'd gone ahead and bought a new gown, she apologized and offered to dye the original dress for me, so I could wear it to another fancy occasion in the future. She didn't even ask me to pay the balance. I was still upset, but I accepted because it was a great dress."
The fact is, you can't totally prevent these kinds of mishaps from happening, but you can limit the chance that something will go wrong. First, it's important to pick a reliable venue and vendors. "Don't go through the phone book. Instead, get recommendations from friends, family members and coworkers," advises David Borgenicht, coauthor of The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Weddings (Chronicle Books). Consider asking local businesspeople, whose own businesses depend on using reputable service people, what pros they use.
It's also crucial to get signed contracts from all of your vendors and to keep receipts for down payments and other expenses. You'll need these things so that you can prove a contract was broken in the event that you have to go to court to get your deposit back. And make sure certain important details are written into your contract, says Thomas Danziger, a New York City attorney who works with restaurant and special-event clients.
For instance, specify exactly who will be providing the service promised. After all, you want the owner of the business with whom you initially spoke, and who came highly recommended by a recently married friend, to personally do the work, not one of his less-experienced underlings. Also, you should include a clause that allows you to terminate without cause (possibly for a small fee) if, as the wedding approaches, you lose confidence in the vendor.
Finally, consider purchasing wedding insurance, which will reimburse your expenses in case a vendor should default. This insurance is fairly inexpensive. For example, at WedSafe, a wedding insurance company, a policy for a $35,000 wedding costs approximately $305.
Next: Nature Unleashes Her Fury >>
Disaster Scenario #2: Nature Unleashes Her Fury
Think a drizzly wedding day would be a bummer? Luis Rosero and Lisa Moreno, of New York City, should have been so lucky. Their Miami event was interrupted by Hurricane Jeanne last September—and worse still, they only received word that their church and reception site planned to close at their rehearsal dinner—the night before the big day.
The couple had to decide then and there whether to cancel the wedding outright or postpone it for a few days. In the end, they did neither, choosing to get married that very evening instead, since most of their guests were already in town and were actually at the rehearsal dinner. Lisa and Luis rushed into action. "We found an officiant who could perform the ceremony and told everyone that we'd be getting married later that night, at the house we had rented for the week," says Lisa. "Our wedding planner was a big help, too. She picked up the cake herself and arranged to have the florist bring over the flowers."
As Lisa and Luis learned, it's possible the wedding you worked so hard to arrange won't happen as planned. But the good news is that you don't have to lose all your money along with your dream day. That's because the same safeguards that protect you against a breach of contract, bankruptcy or fraud also will protect you in the case of a flood, fire or storm. So, make sure you have contracts, pay with a credit card and consider taking out wedding insurance (Lisa had purchased a policy, which reimbursed them for their lost expenses). Crossing your fingers can't hurt, either!
Next: A Loved One Falls Ill or Dies >>
Disaster Scenario #3: A Loved One Falls Ill or Dies
When a family member passes away before the wedding, the issue is not so much a financial matter as it is an emotional one. "You'll have to ask yourselves, ‘Do we want to postpone our marriage, which is the start of our new life together, in order to grieve?' " says Allison Moir-Smith, a bridal counselor fromBrookline, Massachusetts. Many couples come to the conclusion that while the death of a loved one was an ending, their wedding is a beginning—and that life must go on.
If you purchased wedding insurance, know that you will be covered if you choose to cancel in the event of a death. But if you decide to proceed, "You must embrace the fact that the grief is going to be part of the day," says Moir-Smith. One thing that may ease the pain just a bit is to acknowledge the loss of the family member during the ceremony and reception. For instance, consider mentioning the person in the program and ask your officiant to explain the situation during the service. At the reception, you can lead a toast to the person or invoke a moment of silence.
If illness prevents a loved one from attending your wedding, you'll also have to grapple with feelings of loss. "It tore me apart to get married without my parents in attendance," says Kurt Emhoff, of New York City, whose mother and father were both homebound with cancer. But after their destination wedding in Puerto Rico, Kurt and his wife, Laurena, had a second reception in Kurt's hometown of Erie, Pennsylvania, and both of his parents were well enough to join the festivities.
"The reception in Erie was wonderful, but it was the last party my parents would attend," says Kurt, whose mom and dad passed away in December of that year. "The events were bittersweet for me, as you can only experience so much joy when your parents are hurting like mine were. Still, I have great memories."