The 6 Emotional Stages of Planning a Wedding

It's no surprise that planning a wedding can make you break out the tissues; as it turns out, there are distinct emotional phases you may go through before getting married. You can experience these stages in any order, and every person's experience is just as unique as their wedding.

Stage 4: Overconfidence, Denial, and Bargaining

I thought I'd be able to sit back, relax, and reap the benefits of being an early bird a couple of months before the wedding. I put off certain projects that I found undesirable — ahem, mailing out invitations — and preoccupied myself with anything that didn't have to do with our big day. It wasn't a conscious decision; in retrospect, it probably stemmed from anxiety over hurting the feelings of anyone who wasn't invited.

When I wasn't in denial, I was in bargaining mode. There were times when I wished I had someone (read: a paid professional) to play the role of The Enforcer and back me up in awkward situations. For example, I had to fire a vendor who was MIA and scramble to find a replacement at the last minute. I also had to keep the peace with a relative who created a major blowout the week before my wedding over something trivial. I realized that a year from now, these things wouldn't matter, unlike truly difficult circumstances that other brides far more courageous than myself have had to face before their weddings. However, I felt drained nonetheless.

How to make the most of this stage:
Develop a support system of trusted advisors, whether it's your mom, your best friend, a knowledgeable coworker, whomever. No one is Superwoman, and if you try to manage everything on your own, like I did, without asking anyone for help, then odds are you'll crash and burn eventually. Learn to delegate smaller projects to those who want to contribute to the wedding cause. Try not to take things too personally and keep in mind that weddings can be stressful at times for parents, family members, and the bridal party, too — not just the bride and groom.

limo
I couldn't have done it with my incredible maids of honor. Here they are, squeezed into the car, holding my wedding dress on the ride home after my final fitting!

Next: Decision Fatigue ►

Pages