Wedding Invitation Q&As

Composing wedding invitations involves complex-and beautiful-etiquette guidelines. We RSVP to your urgent questions.


Q: Is it appropriate to ask guests to convey their responses via reply card or a phone call after receiving our save-the-date cards? —Falls Church, Virginia

A: No, save-the-date notices are sent to alert guests as to the time and place of a wedding so they have ample opportunity to make the appropriate arrangements. Reply cards are enclosed with the wedding invitation only. However, if you and your fiancé want to get a rough estimate now, I recommend you follow up through e-mail or phone calls. Keep in mind that it may be too early for some people to confirm, so be sure to get your invitations out 4 months before the big day (especially if it’s a destination wedding) and ask to have responses by 10 weeks before the wedding. That should give you plenty of time to finalize all of the details with your pros.

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I have a few friends who included a Save the Date magnet in their wedding announcements. It was pretty helpful - I attached the invitation to my fridge using the magnet provided, and then on the day of the wedding, when I was scrambling to get out the door on time, I was able to quickly locate the invitation for directions. For my Save the Dates, I did a postcard. However, I still like the idea of including a magnet in the actual invitations. My invitations will have a pocket for the RSVP card, and I was thinking of including a magnet of my fiance and I there. Would this be OK, and if so, what would be the proper wording on the magnet at this point - would "Save the Date" still be OK?