Wedding Planning Basics

Plan a Wedding in 6 Months

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:00:00 AM

Photo by Peter Dazeley/Getty ImagesWill It Cost More?In many cases, you’ll receive the same treatment, and fees, as any other bride. In other words, giving shorter notice doesn’t mean getting a higher fee. And, says Debi Lilly of A Perfect Event in Chicago, “don’t assume you should refrain from negotiating prices just because you’re on a short timetable. Negotiate whenever and wherever it seems reasonable.” Although there shouldn’t be rush fees for booking your venue, your band, your florist or most other vendors, Lilly notes, “You can expect to pay extra for hurrying your and your bridesmaids’ gowns and maybe the invitations or favors.” So try to make quick, smart decisions. You really don’t have time to be fickle about the colors of your bridesmaid dresses or whether to have roses or white orchids for your bouquet. Chances are, you won’t regret your choices, especially when you find you’ve eliminated costly “rush” fees.Although many brides and grooms take up to a year and a half to organize their weddings, other couples want to make it snappy. “I’m getting more and more calls from brides who would like to get married in a couple of months,” says event planner Julie Pryor of Pryor Events in Los Angeles. There are plenty of reasons for having a wedding in a hurry—from a job change or military deployment to just plain eagerness to tie the knot. Here, some pros’ tips to ensure that, even with fast-and-furious planning, your wedding goes off without a hitch. 1. Make the first month count Wedding timelines usually start a year before the big day. So what’s a bride to do when she’s just six months out (or less)? “First, set your budget and make all your major decisions and purchases,” recommends Christine Paul of Christine Paul Events in New York City. “That means booking your ceremony and reception sites, purchasing or ordering your gown and the bridesmaids’ dresses, hiring a photographer and deciding on the honeymoon.” You’ll also want to sit down with your fiancé and set your priorities. For example, your top three might be great jazz music, authentic Italian food and a first-rate photographer. “Once you’ve done all that, you’ll be right on track with brides who’ve been at it for months,” says Paul.2. Be flexible and creative You may find that some of your fi rst choices aren’t available. For example, many popular wedding locations are reserved a year in advance. So learn to be fl exible; a fabulous venue could be a place you haven’t yet imagined. “Instead of the more obvious choices, perhaps a friend has a beautiful beach house, or you could get married in a local park,” says Paul. Open your mind to different dates and times as well. Sometimes it’s easier to find a place for a Friday or Sunday—or earlier in the day. The better able you are to come up with creative alternatives, the happier you’ll be with the end result.3. Ask for help Event planners may be hired to do the entire wedding, or simply to handle a few tasks you can’t fit in or even just to manage things on the big day itself. Researching vendors to learn who’s right for the job is time consuming, and a good wedding planner with a network of reliable vendors can figure out the logistics quickly and easily.4. Enjoy Yourself! Remember to take time to soak it all in. Sure, you’ll be in a hurry, but taste-testing dishes and listening to bands is still fun. Luckily, you’re already on top of this. “Brides who’ve gotten their weddings together in six months or less have told me they enjoyed the process,” says Paul. “They had less time to stress out and found the preparations surprisingly exciting.”HINT: Enlist the help of friends. Give them jobs they’ll feel comfortable doing, like managing the RSVP list. You’’ll be glad you did.

8 Ways to Get the Best Wedding Photos

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 12:00:00 AM

You have the “perfect” man. You’ve got your “this-is-the-one” dress. You’ve secured the perfect wedding location. Now all you need is someone to capture the memories that will last a lifetime. Here are eight ways to ensure you get the best images on your wedding day. 1. Do Your HomeworkTo get the best wedding photos, you need to start before your big day and find the best photographer for YOU. For this, you need to do your research. Here’s how: Narrow it down to about 3 choices and interview each one. Look at their portfolios. Ask to see samples of their work, albums and slideshows. Do they have a wide range of work? Do they have a website? Ask to see a whole wedding they’ve shot, not just a few pictures. You may come to find out later that they may not work well under certain conditions, and you don’t want to find out the hard way.Find out what can they offer you. Is it a style that you prefer? Can they tailor their style to meet your needs? Find someone who is willing to work with you, not against you. 2. Schedule an Engagement SessionYes, I’m a big proponent of e-sessions. Why? Three reasons:It gives you a chance to get to know your photographer before your big day. He or she is going to be with you for most of your day, so it’s a good idea to get to know this person before the big event. You get a chance to see their style of shooting firsthand and ask questions. Are they a director or are they a “just let it happen” kind of shooter? What kind of equipment are they using and how do they use it? Can they pose you to make you look your best? The biggest advantage? You get to see samples of their work with YOU in them, before you make that final deposit.3. Make Sure Your Hair and Makeup Are PerfectIf you want to look your best, always do a trial run before your wedding day so you can make any necessary tweaks before the big day. Here are a few things, from a photographer's point of view, to keep in mind:Bring a camera to the hair and makeup trial. You want to make sure the makeup works well on camera. Some makeup foundations/powders are highly reflective and can appear very white on film. Your makeup should last throughout your wedding, so wear it for a day and see what happens. You don’t want to find out on your big day that your makeup is gone after the first portion of your ceremony. Ask about wear-proof makeup, touch-ups or any other thing you might need to keep your makeup flawless. Stay away from glitter. Yes, shiny is pretty, but once that flash pops…you will get a lot of tiny bright white highlights in your pictures. For the groom, I recommend bringing some sort of blotting cloths or tissue to keep him from looking shiny, especially if it is hot. Shiny equals white on camera.4. Create a TimelineOne of the best things you can do to eliminate stress for yourself on the big day is to create a timeline for your photographer. It's important to discuss when and where the shots will take place and to schedule plenty of time for your wedding photos. A less-stressed bride is a happy bride. And a happy bride makes for great photos.5. Know What You WantWhat kind of shots are you envisioning for your big day? With most weddings, photographers know there is a general list of images to capture (i.e. the kiss, the first dance). But are there any other images you would like? Work with a photographer who understands what you want. I always ask my brides to think about whether there are any other shots they want from their wedding. For example, is there a special locket you want photographed? Maybe a pose you saw online? Discuss this with your photographer so he or she is aware of any other special requests and can accommodate you.Make sure your photographer doesn’t leave without saying goodbye. Before I leave I always ask my brides if there is anything else they would like photographed. Sometimes you realize at the end of the night that you’d like a photo with “Uncle Joe” who traveled all the way from another state or county. Maybe you even want one more of you dancing with your groom on the dance floor with some high school friends. So be sure your photographer is willing to work “on the fly” and capture any extras that you may have missed throughout the night. 6. Start Early on Your Big DayI can’t stress this one enough. Things happen—traffic, delays, hair and makeup emergencies, etc.—so always plan at least one hour ahead of schedule. If you run over, you won't be stressed, and your photos can start on time. If you finish earlier, well that just means more photos of a happy bride!7. Get Help To keep you stress-free and looking great in your pictures, get help. Have someone else take care of things for you, whether it's a coordinator, friend or maid of honor. All questions should be directed to that person. You should be able to just sit back, relax and enjoy your day. 8. Be Yourself, Relax and Have Fun Try to enjoy the moment! The best photos are one of a relaxed and happy bride. Sometimes people don’t realize that they wear their emotions on their face, which shows in pictures. So just sit back and enjoy your special day. Lucy Manalo is a photographer and owner of Manalo Empire Photography, located in Southern California. Photos by Manalo Empire Photography, manaloempire.com.

Fall Wedding Style

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 12:00:00 AM

With its changing leaves and cooler weather, Autumn is a great season for weddings. Imagine a rustic barnyard wedding or an outdoor event that takes advantage of Mother Nature’s natural beauty—the possibilities are endless. To help you get started, we’ve put together some great fall ideas to get your creative juices flowing.All in the DetailsSet the tone of your wedding with invitations that reflect this special time of the year, then carry the theme throughout your wedding.From left: Floral invitation with reply and outer envelopes by Kenzie Kate Invitations. Playbill wedding invitations from Paper Source. Guest book by Twisted Limb Paperworks; refillable antique silverware pen by Close the Loop; invitation with leaf-motif sticker and favor card with two heart tags made of flower seeds by Naturally Ever After. A new use for pomegranates: place card holders.From left: Boxes of two bonbons, available with custom designs, by CocoaVino. Custom-packaged favors by Harvard Sweet Boutique, Inc. do double duty as a pretty centerpiece. A simple white cake decorated with fall flowers. Butterflies, berries and flowers in rich fall colors add a whimsical feel to this sweet creation.Table DécorFlowers in shades of red, orange, yellow, green, purple and brown will add warmth to your wedding and give your tables a great pop of color. Don’t forget to incorporate outdoor elements, such as leaves, fruits and vegetables, berries and branches to give your centerpieces and place settings a unique look.FashionEvery bride needs a fabulous dress. Gorgeous bridal gowns with jeweled accents, a hint of color and pretty boleros are perfect for this season’s weddings.Alfred AngeloJim HjelmPlatinumRiviniDon’t forget your bridesmaids! They’ll turn heads down the aisle in these bold fall colors.AmsaleAlfred AngeloAmsalePriscilla of BostonBouquetsUse roses and calla lilies in shades of red, burgundy and orange for a classic fall bouquet, or create something unique by adding sprigs of berries and twigs.

Table Talk with Colin Cowie

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 12:00:00 AM

I chatted with wedding expert Colin Cowie, who recently launched his new Colin Cowie Flowers division, on how to keep the cost of your wedding flowers centerpieces down during these tough economic times.Q: What are some tips for keeping the cost of table arrangements down?A: What’s interesting is that wedding centerpieces are not just about flower arrangements anymore (where things can get costly); instead, it might be a combination of objects on the table. What we’re seeing now in stores are these interesting organic bowl shapes with tiny openings at the top. Sometimes it's less expensive to buy 20 of those than trying to fill a big-mouthed container with fresh flowers. Instead, you find the right color and put a single blossom in there. You put it with a leaf on the bottom and add three or four interesting candles. It feels more personal with the use of different elements. Get more great ideas in Colin Cowie's latest book on wedding style.If you’re working with a limited budget, keep it simple—very clean and not fussy. Pick one thing you like and do tons of it—masses of one kind of flower, in something like glass, that reflects light. Use lots of candles everywhere, perhaps in clear glass votives. Or perhaps votive candles covered with green leaves or the skeletons of leaves to cast a soft light.Q: What flower trends can we expect to see for the fall?A: In terms of flowers, we’re heading toward shades of deep reds or burgundies. In the autumn, black magic roses—which are actually a deep, dark burgundy—work well with the wonderful browns. There’s the gorgeous chocolate brown rose called Leonidas. And this is also the time of the year where we get fall and autumnal chrysanthemums and spidermums. You might also use those green orchids with the lovely aubergine with the red dots on the inside—the St. Bailey orchid. You can also incorporate fruits, vegetables and autumnal things for centerpieces. In the fall, it’s all about the harvest so try apples and pears. Big bowls of apples and pears are a fun and inexpensive way to create beautiful wedding centerpieces. I also love the idea of adding apples, pears, clementines, oranges and even grapes to the wedding centerpiece flower arrangements at this time of the year for a splash of rich color. If you want to make it more traditional, you can bring in elements of gold. Then you can really dress it up wonderfully.Also for fall, the bouquets are getting looser and more organic with flowers that cascade naturally from the bouquet. The look is more Dutch still life, incorporating twigs and vines and dried elements, as a reference to the maturing season. To make a wedding bouquet more personal—and in keeping with the trend of adornment—you might add sparkling jewels or rhinestones or pieces of amber.For more information, visit colincowie.com.

25 Tips for a Great Summer Wedding

Wed, 06 May 2009 12:00:00 AM

Photo by Kenzie Shores PhotographyIf you’re having a Summertime Wedding, you’re probably envisioning a gorgeous, blue-sky day that’s like something out of a movie—a sea of perfect, white roses everywhere you look, and your guests in high-fashion ensembles walking through the gardens with champagne glasses in their hands, remarking how this is the most beautiful wedding they’ve ever seen. What you’re not envisioning is those same guests overheated, dehydrated and slumping in their chairs from the humidity, sweat pouring down the back of your dress, and hundreds of mosquitoes stuck in the icing of your perefect summer wedding cake. Or the guests remarking that they’ve never been so uncomfortable in all their lives.Don’t let mother nature steal your summer wedding perfection! We have the top tips for preventing the dangers of the dog-day summertime heat and humidity for your guests’ comfort, your cake’s survival, and your wedding-day bliss. Here’s how to plan ahead for cool comforts and a critter-free cake:Keeping Guests Cool1. Choose an Indoor-Outdoor location. If you haven’t already booked your site—whether all-outdoors or all-indoors—look for a beautiful reception site that offers both outdoor and indoor party areas, such as one with a fabulous ballroom and a lovely outdoor terrace overlooking manicured gardens, a golf course, or the ocean. Guests can decide if they want to be in the outdoor elements, or comfortable inside in the air conditioned building. Especially if you have older or pregnant guests, it’s essential to provide a cooler environment option for all.2. Rent A/C units. If your wedding will be in a tent, or out in the open air, be sure to rent high-quality, portable fans that you test out in the rental store to judge their strength and relative silence. Great party fans now run at a lower volume level so that everyone can hear the toasts and the music. Invest well in plenty of these fans for everyone’s comfort, and place them around the seating area, the bar, anywhere guests will gather.3. Provide cooling gadgets. At hot outdoor weddings, and even on the tables of the terrace, set out vases or theme-appropriate containers of little hand-held, battery-run fans, or pretty paper fans for guests to cool themselves with.4. Provide sunscreen. If guests will spend hours out in the sun, you’re a terrific host to set a spray bottle of high-SPF sunscreen at each table as well.5. Serve lots of ice water in stylish glasses with pretty slices of lemon, lime or orange. Who says your water can’t coordinate with your wedding colors? Guests at outdoor weddings love having fresh, ice-cold water brought to them throughout the event, so be sure to order hand-passed ice water service on silver trays. If you’re having a more informal wedding, consider stocking the bar or buffet with a few ice-filled coolers of water bottles.6. Use natural shade. Scout out your location and ask the site manager to arrange seats and tables under the shade of trees, or with big, bright table umbrellas. 7. No burning their butts! If your site will set out metal chairs for the ceremony or outdoor seating, be aware that metal can heat up in the sun. Either arrange for chair cushions or invest in fabric slip covers for chairs that will be placed in peak sunlight.Photo by Kenzie Shores PhotographyKeeping Flowers Fresh8. On a hot day, beware of your summer wedding flowers wilting quickly. Sometimes, they’re droopy when they reach you, having suffered during shipment from the floral store to your location. So ask your floral designer to transport your flowers with extra attention paid to their water sources, such as setting all the bouquets upright in a container with a few inches of water for the stems to drink from [you would need to make sure that your bouquet handles are wrapped in such a way—such as just around the middle of the gathered stems—so that cut stems are exposed at the bottom to drink up water, not fully covered by satin ribbon. Or choose single-stem flowers as both a budget idea and as a more realistic plan to keep flowers fresh and cool.] 9. Choose your summer wedding flowers well for their water source ability. For instance, hydrangea is a lovely summer flower, but it wilts in minutes without a good water source, so floral designers advise you to keep the hydrangea out of your bouquet and off of your groom’s lapel, instead placing sprigs in little, water-filled vases on each table. 10. Keep your summer wedding flowers ultra-cool before the ceremony, perhaps popping all of your bouquets into the refrigerator between the pre-wedding photos and when you depart for the ceremony. And don’t spritz centerpiece flowers with water for outdoor settings, since direct sunlight will burn that water right off the bloom and turn your flowers brown. Ask for summertime-sturdy flowers and an efficient water source for all of your flowers, so that they keep their strength and look stunning throughout the event.11. Store your tossing summer wedding bouquet in the site’s refrigerator or in a cooler you bring with you, so that it’s not sitting in the heat, losing its moisture and color.12. Decide on a Plan B for later-in-the-day photos. Often, wedding photographers will bring you outside for additional couple photos while the dancing is going on, so look carefully at your summer wedding bouquet before you bring it into the frame with you. If all the flowers are droopy, dry and damaged from the heat, just leave it out of the frame and pose without it. Digital cameras capture every detail, and you don’t want to wind up with the horrible surprise of ‘those flowers are dead’ when you get your fabulous couple kiss-shot photos and see the damage in hi-resolution. So be sure to look closely and make the styling decision of whether or not to have the blooms in the shot with you.Photo by Kenzie Shores PhotographyProtecting Your Food13. The heat can do terrible things to some of your menu items, including making guests sick. So be sure that all seafood, cheeses and meats are stored in super-cooled serving dishes, perhaps on platters made of ice, and that the caterer keeps replacing sun-warmed salad dressings with cooler, fresher supplies every so often. Specifically ask for this cool-food service, as a safety measure.14. Choose lighter, non-creamy fare for your cocktail party stations and your meal, to reduce the risk of spoilage. Summer menu items of cold, refreshing veggies, cold seafood, mango skewers and gazpacho shots are far more palatable in hot weather than heavier, cream-sauce dishes…and they’re often less expensive.15. Cover those serving platters. Keep the flies and bees away by choosing chafing dishes and serving platters with lids on them, and don’t decorate your buffet table or stations with bee-attracting flowers.16. Prevent mosquito and gnat dive-bombers from attacking your cake [they love the sweet frosting!] and keep your cake from melting in the sun—and collapsing to the floor—by having the site staff keep the cake in the refrigerator for the majority of the reception. It can be wheeled out, fresh and cool, when it’s time to cut the cake.17. Add frozen drinks to your bar menu for your guests’ comfort and enjoyment.Photo by Kenzie Shores PhotographyProtecting Your Look18. Choose a summer wedding gown made of lighter fabric, appropriate for a hot-weather summer wedding, and talk to your gown stylist about fabrics that breathe, such as cotton organdy, chiffon, crepe, or voile over silk. You don’t want horrible sweat stains under your breasts, at the base of your spine and at your armpits. 19. Choose a tuxedo fabric that also breathes for the men, and select open-backed vests for the men’s comfort as well.20. Choose the right shoes. Go for comfort as well as...

How to Select Your Wedding Flower Arrangements

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 12:00:00 AM

To have and to hold: a bridal bouquet of peonies, andromeda, quince branches, spray roses, geraniums, poppies and tulips.A tall silver vase is filled with yellow roses, stock, snapdragons, peonies, blupeurum and oncidium orchids.Special details, like a wrought-iron gate adorned with green ivy, ivory ‘Vendella’ roses, and lavender ‘Sterling’ roses, complete a look.Wedding flower arrangements have been an essential element of nuptials throughout history, thought to drive away evil spirits and to symbolize love and fertility. And of course, they’ve always been cherished for their lovely scent and fresh beauty. But today, the vast number of choices and the complexity and unpredictability of the bloom business may throw brides for a loop. Never fear! These no-stress steps will help you procure beautiful wedding flower arrangementsStep #1: When it comes to flowers for your wedding, be choosy.When finding a floral designer, start with personal recommendations, then check the pros’ websites to get a sense of their work. You may then decide to visit each wedding florist personally so that you can flip through photos of their past ceremonies and receptions and be sure their vision works with yours. Also, it’s important that the two of you hit it off. “If you don’t feel comfortable or don’t click, look for someone else,” says Erin Rosenow of Rosenow Floral Design in San Francisco, California. “Flowers set the scenery for the wedding, and you want to feel confident about them.” Step #2: Communicate with your wedding florist.Give the wedding florist as much information about your ceremony and reception as possible, including the location, the color scheme and the look and feel of the entire event. You might even provide inspiration, such as a photograph of your gown or swatches of the bridesmaids’ dresses. You don’t need to know technical flower terms to get your point across. Show the designer pictures of wedding flower arrangements that depict your favorite details: the ideal shape, a prettily tied ribbon, a gorgeous type of orchid. “It’s important that he or she knows what you don’t like, too,” says Kimberly Aurora Kapur, author of Bouquet Chic (Watson-Guptill, 2008).Step #3: Stay on budget.Wedding flower arrangements typically takes up 10 to 20 percent of a couple’s wedding budget, but this varies depending on the type of flowers they choose, their region and the containers and embellishments they select. Rosenow says her bridal bouquets average about $125 to $200; bridesmaids’ bouquets, $85 to $150 each, and centerpieces $85 to $100.Seeking out locally grown, in-season flowers for your wedding will likely save you money. Rosenow also suggests shopping at IKEA or flea markets for pretty vases, instead of paying a florist to do the shopping. Consider arrangements that could be used for both the ceremony and the reception. You can also prioritize; perhaps you’ll decide to limit the wedding ceremony flowers in favor of more elaborate wedding reception centerpieces.Step #4: Know what your wedding flower arrangements will look like.Have your designer create mock-ups of your wedding flower arrangements, your bridal bouquet or a centerpiece (or both), so you have an accurate idea of what you’ll get on the big day. You can even fine-tune the end result. Be sure to build all the details that you and your designer have agreed upon into your contract, including the special requests and the things to avoid.

Seasonal Spendor

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 12:00:00 AM

Spring Wedding Theme InspirationsCreate a garden look for your wedding with pastel hues and pretty butterflies, evocative of fresh hope and renewal.Hand-painted butterflies as a decor element, $11 for 12, by Bliss! Weddings Market, 866-445-4405. Wedding cake covered in fondant with hand-painted sugarpaste butterflies and blossoms, by Pink Cake Box, pinkcakebox.com. Butterfly-accented bridal bouquet of calla lilies, cymbidium orchids, hydrangeas, ranunculus and vibernum, by Flowers of the World, 800-582-0428. Wedding invitation on felt cardstock, $174 for 100, by Wedding Paper Divas, weddingpaperdivas.com. Hand-iced sugar cookies, $6 each, by Eleni’s New York, elenis.com. Plate, $7, by Fishs Eddy, fishseddy.com. Stirrers made of handblown glass, $9 for four, at estiloweddings.com. Glasses, $4 each, at crateandbarrel.com. Butterfly wedding ring pillow, $34, by Jean M, myjeanm.com. Photography: Mike EssigSummer Wedding Theme InspirationsFor beachy flair, use bold tropical blooms, like hibiscus and orchids, to heat up your wedding ceremony.Wedding invitation with floral motif, $143 for 100, by Now & Forever, now-and-forever.com. Wedding reception place cards, $6 for 24, and pineapple-shaped holders, $7 for four, by Bliss! Weddings Market, 866-445-4405. Fondant-covered wedding cake with gumpaste orchids, by City Sweets & Confections, citysweets.com. Orchid-shaped soaps for favors, $2.50 for set of two, by Sophie’s Favors, sophiesfavors.com. Hibiscus champagne flutes, $32 each, by Destination Romance, destination-romance.com. Orange flower-shaped cards, $120 for 100, by Checkerboard, checkernet.com. Wedding reception centerpiece of fuchsia phalaenopsis orchids, orange pincushion protea, hydrangeas and ranunculus, by Flowers of the World, 800-582-0428. Photography: Mike EssigFall Wedding Theme InspirationsOak and maple leaves will charm guests into falling in love with your wedding decor.Oak-leaf wedding reception place card, $110 for 150, by Papermints, papermints.com. Maple-leaf holder, $4 for set of four, by Kate Aspen, myweddingfavors.com. Bridal bouquet of dahlias, ‘Sahara’ roses, calla lilies, hydrangeas, kangaroo paws and oak leaves, by Stem by David Tutera, davidtuterastem.com. Wedding program with ribbon, $235 for 100 (unassembled), by The Green Kangaroo, tgkdesigns.com. Square two-layer invitation, $389 for 100, by Checkerboard, checkernet.com. Leaf-motif wedding favor boxes, $25 for 24, and copper-hued bottle stopper, $4.15, by weddingthings.com. Chocolate fondant-covered wedding cake with sugarpaste red dahlia, oak and maple leaves, acorns and berries, by Cake Alchemy, cakealchemy.com. Oak-leaf tealight holders, $3 each by littlethingsfavors.com. Photography: Mike EssigWinter Wedding Theme InspirationsGlistening, pearly-white snowflakes make a cool statement at a frosty weather wedding.Flat-printed wedding invitation, $870 for 100, by Laura K Design, laurakdesign.com.Silver snowflake bookmark wedding favor with tassel, $1.50, by Kate Aspen, myweddingfavors.com.Wedding cake with hand-painted blue fondant and sugar snow details, by Cakes by Tony, pastryprince.com.Wedding reception table card, $15 for 36, and holder, $32 for 12, by Seasons of Love, seasonsbydawn.com.Wedding reception centerpiece of calla lilies, thistle, orchids, hydrangeas and silver-painted wood roses, by Stem by David Tutera, davidtuterastem.com.Frosted-glass tealight holder, $5 for two, at beau-coup.com.Snowflake-topped box (front) filled with chocolates, $4, by weddingbellefavors.com. Square boxes (rear), $23 for 25, plus ribbon, tags and fasteners, at myjeanm.com.Photography: Mike Essig

Hot 2009 Wedding Trends

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 12:00:00 AM

Color, color everywhere—and don't be afraid to drive into eclectic combinations.What's black-and-white with touches of green? An ultrachic table.Light up the night with sparkling candelabras and different-colored spotlights for a magical effect.Hot Wedding Trend #1 - Dazzling Wedding DecorationsTabletop is going eclectic, according to New York planner Marcy Blum. “We’re getting away from the plain silver or gold-beaded charger that’s been used ad nauseam. Instead, there’s colored glassware, knife and spoon rests and more interesting chargers.” A look Blum loves is a Rococo table set with three complementary patterns of china.This is the year to light it up! “Everything is lit from above, within or under. With new lighting, your tables can change color with the courses of your meal,” says Sasha Souza of Sasha Souza Events in the Bay Area. Also hot? Individual chandeliers over tables. “Choose clear, red or black crystal.”Look for bold, graphic prints to make a reception appearance, says Souza. “It’s very sixties mod. Don’t be afraid of patterns—everywhere from the invitation to the cake and the ribbon on the bouquet!”This year, you can expect the bar to be a focal point, says Jung Lee of Fête in New York City. “We’re doing oversize bars, maybe 40 feet in length—and we’re doing them in different shapes.” Her favorite look for the year? A stunning white leather bar studded with polished-nickel nails.What’s out? “The checkerboard dance floor,” says Souza. What’s in? “Seamless dance floors with any look you want—maybe a red floor, or a big monogram or filigree patterns at the corners.”Want to declare your love to the world? “We’re putting a couple’s wedding pattern or monogram on bright fabric banners and hanging them from trees, tents and entrances,” says Souza.Souza’s brides are projecting full-color patterns and movies against walls or the sides of tents. “You can do anything—a graphic of a forest, for example, so it feels as if you’re moving through trees. You could use climbing vines or a sari fabric print. Just make sure it’s in full color!” Hot Wedding Trend #2 - Mood Altering Wedding ColorsSexy, eye-popping color is in. “There is no wrong way to do it,” says Sasha Souza. Her pick for the #1 hue in 2009? Yellow. “It started getting hot in late 2008, and it’s carrying over to the new year. Mix it with orange or coral.”New York wedding planner Karen Bussen agrees that color is key. “Couples are becoming savvy about changing and creating mood by using color. Maybe the ceremony is really serene, and the cocktail hour is hot and spicy. So you start with soft, creamy shades, and then allow the more raucous, festive hues to come in later on.”“Black is the new black,” Souza reports. “This year, it’s completely replaced brown. Pair it with turquoise, gray or white. Do it with flowers too—for example, anemones are black and white.”Photography: (from top) Roey Yohai; Christian Oth; Shawn Connell of Christian Oth Studio.Hot Wedding Trend #3 - Tasty Food & DrinksBaby burgers and tiny cones of fries make finger food fun.Pomegranate mojitos, garnished and served in shot glasses, hit the spot.Miniature macaroni-and-cheese bites make a huge crowd-pleaser.The Ultrachic Cocktail Hour “Whether you call them southsides or mojitos, mint and lime ingredients are a hit,” says Peter Callahan of Callahan Catering. “Fresh-squeezed lime juice is key. Caipirinhas also depend on it. That’s one of the secrets to a dynamic specialty cocktail.”According to Callahan, custom trays are a trend for the cocktail hour. “Silver has its place in a gilded ballroom, but everywhere else the trays should reflect the setting—whitewashed wood for beachside and white acrylic for modern settings, maybe even a hot pink for the racy after-party.”“The ‘it’ alcohol is tequila,” says Callahan, who serves it up in fruitflavored margaritas. And what is out? “Martini bars and martini glasses! They seem dated.”What’s always in for cocktail-hour bites? “Mini is still sizzling hot—mini hamburgers, fries, mini grilled cheese.” says Callahan.According to Olivier Cheng of Olivier Cheng, Catering and Events, the spotlight is on gorgeous ingredients presented simply. “It’s a bit of wagu beef on a skewer with fleur de sel. It’s the purity of the idea.” The Tasteful Reception“2009 is the year of regional food,” says Callahan. “Local ingredients are huge, as is organic food. Or it might be food native to an area you love. We had a couple in the Rocky Mountains who served elk chops, which were delicious and everyone loved.”Cheng’s pick for the first course? Trios and tasting plates. “We just did a ceviche tasting: a mushroom ceviche, a shrimp ceviche and a black bass. In the summer, we do a trio with heirloom tomatoes.”“Beef is back for dinner,” says Callahan, who picks New York strip steak as his #1 meat. For the best results, serve it sliced.After-Dinner FestivitiesThe after-party is going strong, says Karen Bussen, who recently organized a lavish reception at New York’s Metropolitan Club, followed by a casual late-night bash around the corner at Pop Burger. “People are getting into totally changing their venues.” “After dinner, set out buckets with iced vodka, white wine, bubbly and a little bottled water,” says Callahan. “Let the fun begin!”The hot new thing is the after-dinner signature bar, according to Cheng. “We do a vodka infusion bar with a six-foot piece of ice and beautiful containers that sit in the ice for lychee and lemongrass vodkas.” Cheng reports, “We make frozen fritters; you take mousse and dip it into harmless liquid nitrogen. The mousse freezes, and when you eat it, smoke comes out of your mouth!” Hot Wedding Trend #4 - Wines of the TimesHere’s what’s hot off the vine this year, according to caterer Peter Callahan.Red: “St. Émilion is a nice light summer red, and bordeaux is always best in winter.White: “Sancerre for summer is a favorite; it reminds me of outdoors in southern France. A dry white burgundy for winter is perfect.”Champagne: “Serve it in magnums for a rich, regal look.”The 2009 “It” Wine: “Rosé. It has that St. Tropez feeling that everyone loves!”Photography: (from top) Rachel McGinn; Ross Whitaker.Hot Wedding Trend #5 - Forget-me-not FlowersThe In Blooms: This year’s flower will be the Mokara orchid, predicts Debi Lilly of A Perfect Event in Chicago. “It’s a lush, romantic, modern orchid.” And this variety comes in vibrant colors: sun-kissed orange, deep lavender, hot pink.”The other big flower trend? Everything seasonal, says Karen Bussen. “It’s more environmentally friendly and cost-effective.” What are the out blooms? “Roses. No offense to roses—I love them,” says Lilly. “But they’re a little predictable. It’s fun to go in a different direction with something people haven’t seen before.” Blum adds, "Exotics are biting the dust.” So forget the ginger and birds-of-paradise.A spring bouquet is a heaven-sent gathering of yellows, pinks and fresh greens.The In Vase: “Very hot is colored glass—mango orange, apple green. We’re also putting silver leaf or gold leaf on glass. It’s a stunning touch, and easy enough to do yourself,” Lilly suggests.The Height: You can go high or low for your centerpieces this year. Some planners...

Winter-Themed Wedding Favors

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 12:00:00 AM

Summer may be the accepted peak wedding season, but there is just something magical about a winter wedding. The calm nights with the shimmering, crunching snow and cold, opaque breath lend a layer of romance and whimsy to the setting. Arrive in a horse-drawn sleigh and your fantasy wedding is complete. Unfortunately, with the economy as frozen and fragile as the ice-covered tree branches, you may feel that your extravagant wedding will have to remain a fantasy. Luckily, almost anything for your wedding can be done beautifully on a budget. Here, tips for winter-themed wedding favors that will dazzle your guests and let you stash away more money for that horse-drawn sleigh.Do-it-Yourself EssentialsBefore starting out, decide on a color theme of no more than three colors. This will prevent spending extra money on decorations in a variety of colors. A common winter theme is light blue, white and sparkling silver. Consider buying some decorative favor boxes or bags and classy ribbon (personalized ribbon is an inexpensive way to add a personal touch). The trick to making inexpensive favors look expensive is wrapping them in rich packaging—it’ll make them look like a million dollars.Shirley’s Tip: Wrap a tiffany blue favor box in white satin ribbon, or tie a shimmery organza favor bag with a light blue satin ribbon. Fill the boxes with snowflake candy or some other winter-themed treat. Another option is to wrap winter-themed candles in the organza bags. Candles bring warmth to any cold winter room.Inexpensive Winter-Themed FavorsIf you do not have a large amount of time to dedicate to actually making your favors, you can still save money. Order lovely favors that adhere to a winter theme (snowflakes, snowmen, shimmery favors and favors with embedded crystals top this list), and wrap them yourself in the pretty ribbon and packaging. You will save time by ordering ready-made favors, and you will save money on fancy prepackaging.Shirley’s Tip: A silvery, snowflake-shaped bottle stopper in pretty packaging is something wintery that guests can actually use.Double the UseMany favors are stylish enough to use as extra decoration. Use ornamental place card holders that double as wedding favors. Guests can later use the favors to display their favorite pictures. If you do not have a sit-down dinner, place favors on a multi-level tier in the middle of the table, saving on expensive centerpieces. Shirley’s Tip: Buy silver or glass snowflake-shaped picture frames and place a picture of each guest in the frame. Hang around the reception hall, and allow guests to take their particular snowflake home at the end of the evening as a favor. Hang over each guest’s seat to combine place card holder, decoration and favor.Warm Hearts & SoulsIn the dead of winter, nothing cuts through the cold better than a tasty, soothing, warm drink. Fill the winter-themed favor boxes or favor bags with hot chocolate, coffee or loose-leaf tea. Guests will have a steaming cup of deliciousness to enjoy when they return home from your fabulous wedding.Shirley’s Tip: Put these materials in winter-themed favor bags, or order prepackaged coffee, hot chocolate and tea. Attach a whisk with a wintery ribbon or personalized ribbon for a complete package.You deserve the whimsical, fanciful wedding of your dreams. When you imagined this day, the current state of the economy was undoubtedly the last concern on your mind. However, by following these easy, money-saving DIY tips, you won’t have to put your flawless winter wedding on ice. Shirley Tan, CEO of one of the top wedding favors websites, is considered the go-to guru of all things wedding favors. She was featured in InStyle Magazine and on the popular TV show Designing Spaces, and she recently authored The Bridal Handbook, to be released in January 2009.

Name Change Guide

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 12:00:00 AM

Sponsored by Kitbiz.Whether you're following tradition and taking your husband's name, hyphenating, or making any other change you want legally recognized, here are the steps you'll need to follow. (Of course, these same steps apply to him if he's changing his name too.) The good news is that this is not yet another task you need to accomplish before the wedding. Until you receive your signed and sealed marriage certificate back from the registrar, you won't be able to begin the official name change process. (You could start in advance on minor things like changing magazine subscriptions and ordering new checks with your married name, but that's about all you'll be able to do without that certificate.) Given that fact, be sure to book all airline tickets for the honeymoon under your maiden name—obviously your ticket will need to match the name on your passport, and even if you're not travelling abroad, all airlines now require a photo I.D. which matches the name on the ticket. Most states will automatically send you a copy of your marriage certificate by mail after it has been processed, which typically takes about a month after the signed license was filed following your ceremony. In some states you have to request a copy of the certificate; be sure to ask about the policy in your area when you check on other local Marriage License Requirements. Official certificate in hand, the first step of recording your name change is with the Social Security Administration. Obtaining a Social Security card showing your new name (your number won't change) is free and fairly easy. You can download the required form, SS-5, along with instructions, from this page of the administration's website: ssa.gov/online/ss-5.html. Or you can pick up the form at your local office (call 800-772-1213 or click here to find your nearest office). Mail or bring the completed form, along with the documents specified in the instructions included with the form, to your local office. The administration will return your documents right away, followed in a couple of weeks by your new Social Security card. Next comes the pleasure of a visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles to update your driver's license. You will need to appear in person for this change. Bring your marriage certificate and new Social Security card, as well as your new proof of address if you've moved as well. Don't forget your old driver's license, which you'll have to surrender in exchange for an interim card until the new one arrives by mail. Once that's done you've essentially established your official identity with your new name, but there are still many more, less crucial changes to make. Some of the following simply need to be notified about the change; others will require official proof, so don't file that marriage certificate and Social Security card away just yet. Don't forget to change your name with: Your employer Changing your name doesn't have to be complicated! The New Bride Name Change Kit by Kitbiz can help you simplify the process.Your bank Your mortgage company Your passport Property titles or leases Credit card companies Investment accounts, including 401(k)s Car registration and insurance Utility companies Insurance policies (life insurance as well as health and dental) Your doctors and dentist Any memberships, such as your health club or alumni association Voter registration Magazine subscriptions One major organization you don't need to notify about the change is the Internal Revenue Service—the Social Security Administration will automatically tell the IRS about your new name (creepy, huh?). Don't worry if your W-2s or other forms still list your maiden name; simply cross it out and write in your married name when you file. See the IRS's website for more details on how they handle name changes.Not sure if you want to make the big change? Discuss your thoughts and concerns here.

12 Ways to Impress Your Guests

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 12:00:00 AM

What They Didn't Love“I hate seeing a bride or groom who drinks too much. The next day everyone gossips about it. Post-wedding talk should always be positive.” —Linda, Cleveland, OH“Single girls can feel conspicuous when they’re called up to catch the bouquet, especially when there’s only a few at the wedding. When you don’t know many people, it’s awkward.” —Bailey, Richmond, VA“The couple had at least 20 ‘special’ dances: from the first dance to the father/daughter dance to a bridal party ‘Electric Slide.’ It left only an hour for everyone else to dance!” —Carin, Baltimore, MD“A month before a friend’s wedding, she told me that the event was getting to be too expensive, so some people had to be cut. One of them was me!”—Morgan, Brooklyn, NY 1. How Refreshing! “I went to a wedding where there was dancing between courses. For the intermezzo course, instead of having us return to our seats, waiters passed sorbet lollipops. Delicious—and we never had to leave the dance floor.” —Kate, New York, NY2. Personal Touches “I’d never met the couple (the groom was an old friend of my husband’s), but after the wedding I felt I’d known them forever. From the location (an apple orchard), to the ring bearer (their dog), to the organic meal, to the mariachi band brought in from Chiapas, Mexico (where they volunteered every year), everything was very personal. I learned that this couple was into nature, organic living and community service—the wedding said it all.” —Erika, New York, NY3. Charitable Favors “In lieu of typical favors, the couple made a donation in honor of their guests to a mission they wanted to support. At each table, there was a note explaining the gesture.” —Peggy, Spring Mills, PA 4. Flattering Fashion “I like to see bridesmaids who have been allowed to choose different dress styles to complement the look of the wedding. That way, everyone looks and feels beautiful.” —Hope, Southampton, PA5. Location, Location, Location “The best thing about one wedding was the venue, on the banks of the Rappahannock River in Virginia. The wedding was very relaxed—breezes, birds and a beautiful view.” —Bruce, Washington, DC6. Family Ties “I loved it when the groom’s grandmother was in charge of the dessert table. She happens to bake award-winning desserts! Everything was simple and delicious.” —Jenna, Madison, VA7. A Special Officiant “My mom met my stepfather while teaching at the elementary school that both her children and his daughter had attended. When they got married, they had the service in the chapel of the school, and they asked the chaplain who had taught all four children to officiate the ceremony. That meant a lot to them—and our family.”—Bella, Washington, DC8. Tasty Treats “A lot of candy favors are left on the table, but one couple gave Lindt chocolates as favors. I didn’t leave those behind!”—Mark, Baltimore, MD9. It Takes Two “The bride and groom had secretly been taking tango lessons and performed a choreographed routine for their first dance. We were applauding at every turn.” —Courtney, Raleigh, NC 10. Poetic License “It’s touching when couples personalize their vows. One groom who’d met his bride in an English Literature class in college surprised her by reciting a Yeats poem!” —Martha, Hartford, CT11. A Sporting Event “I went to a Steelers-themed wedding where the bridesmaids wore black dresses and carried sunflowers (for the team’s black and gold colors), and the bride and groom briefly wore Steelers jerseys. It showed what a fun-loving duo they are.” —Tracy, Pittsburgh, PA12. A Sweet Good-bye“As we left the reception, we were handed warm chocolate-chip cookies and vanilla milkshakes to go. Yum!” —Megan, South Orange, NJ

Do-It-Yourself Wedding Projects

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 12:00:00 AM

Hardcover photo book, $30, and greeting cards, $1.60–$2, created with Apple iLife '08 ($79), apple.com/ilife. Scrapbooking pages designed with assorted Making Memories products, makingmemories.com. Enough supplies to create 10 favor boxes in your chosen color scheme, $17.50, from americanbridal.com. The DIY Bride, how-tos for 40 wedding projects, $20, The Taunton Press, taunton.com. Kit for creating 50 plum blossom-motif invitations, $98, by Paper Source, paper-source.com. CD Packaging Kit for making fun favors of your favorite music. Includes 25 sleeves and labels and 60 stickers (CDs not included), $16, by chronicle Books, chroniclebooks.com. Photography: Michael Essig.

All-in-One Wedding Kits

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 12:00:00 AM

For the wedding night, luxe goodies, including massage oil, honey dust, body soufflé and faux petals, $75, by Kama Sutra, kamasutra.com. A bachelorette party kit, stocked with a banner, name and glass tags, invites and more, $45, by Anna Griffin, annagriffin.com. Leather travel bag of just-in-case items for the groom, $35, by weddingemergencykits.com. Fully stocked bride's emergency kit (more supplies inside), $35, by wink-weddings.com. A bridal-shower set with theme ideas, favor tags, rubber stamp and gift list, $20, by Potter Style, randomhouse.com. Photography: Michael Essig.

Wedding Organization Station

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 12:00:00 AM

Accordion-file tote in Vera Bradley print, $37, by Lifeguard Press, lifeguardpress.com. Response-card organizer, $30, from Mindy Weiss for Two's Company, 800-896-7266. Purse-size notebook with accordion file and pencil, $11, from Pepperpot, giftwrapcompany.com. Notepad that doubles as a mousepad, $9, at galison.com. Wireless mouse, $30, at microsoft.com/hardware. The Little Pink Book of Weddings, a pocket-size manual of tips, toasts and vows, $10, at estiloweddings.com. Planners designed especially for brides: Cake-themed planner (closed), $25, by Galison, galison.com. Multicolored organizer (open), $75, by Russell + Hazel and Anne Certoff, russellandhazel.com. Photography: Michael Essig.

Hot Wedding Color Combinations

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 12:00:00 AM

Photography: David Kressler. Coral & TurquoiseA seaside celebration calls for the shades of the ocean and its treasures.Cake decorated with rolled fondant and sugarpaste coral and shells, by Cheryl Kleinman Cakes, 718-237-2271. For favors, custom-designed boxes of cookies, large, $14, and small, $9, by One Girl Cookies, onegirlcookies.com. Fabric-covered “wishing well” boxes with pen and 150 note cards (in lieu of a guest book), $40 each, by Zinke Design, zinkedesign.com. Bouquet of coral-hued peonies, sweet peas and orange neranga roses, tied with turquoise ribbon, by Bloom Flowers, bloomflowers.com. Coral-themed flat-printed invitation, $525 for 100 (includes printed envelopes), by Wiley Valentine, wileyvalentine.com. Personalized paperweight is a sweet bridesmaid’s gift, $35, by Paper & Ink Designs, paperinkdesigns.com. Lavender & PurpleA two-tone scheme gives a traditional bridal look a modern twist.Two-layer invitation with crystal accents, price upon request, by Rachel Baker, rockpaperscissorsdesign.com. Centerpiece of parrot tulips, ranunculus, orchids and hydrangeas, by Flowers of the World, flowersoftheworld.com. Cake finished with fondant, royal icing details and hand-sculpted sugar rose, by City Sweets & Confections, citysweets.com. Custom-printed chocolate bar, $2.50, and rolls of mint candy, $1.75 each, by themintbox.com. Box made of recycled paper, $2, by festivale.net. Jelly beans, $8 to $9 per pound, by JellyBelly, jellybelly.com. Capiz-shell tealight holders, about $16 each, by Estilo Weddings, estiloweddings.com. Black & WhiteFor a formal feel with high impact, choose the opposites guaranteed to attract.Beaded damask-covered photo albums, $30 each, by Estilo Weddings, estiloweddings.com. Wine tags, $8 for 4 (two of each design), by Boatman Geller, boatmangeller.com. E.W. Graham’s Six Grapes port, grahams-port.com. All-white bouquet of phalaenopsis orchids, roses and sweet peas, tied with black satin ribbon, by Bloom Flowers, bloomflowers.com. Handpainted fondant-covered cake with royal icing and sugarpaste monogram, by Cakes By Tony, pastryprince.com. Flat-printed invitation with a vintage-inspired design, $164 for 100, by Wedding Paper Divas, weddingpaperdivas.com. Tasseled custom fans with lithographic printing, $7.50 each, by I Do Invitations, idoinvitations.com.

The Wedding Welcome Wagon

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:00:00 AM

Out-of-town guests make matters tricky. There are rooms to block, transportation to book, directions to give and gift bags to stuff. And now it seems there are more wedding-weekend travelers than ever. Here’s how to host them like a pro.Provide Info EarlyPlanning Tip:Make sure your guests know when your wedding day is by adding our save-the-date widget to your wedding website or social networking page. Get it now >>Sending save-the-date cards is the best way to let guests know they’ll need to plan ahead. “These should go out six to eight months before the big day,” says Jenny Orsini of Pampered Bride Weddings in Garwood, New Jersey, who advises keeping the information simple. “Include your names, the wedding date and place, a wedding website URL, if you have one, and hotel information.” Block Rooms StrategicallyWhen choosing a hotel to recommend to guests, Orsini advises keeping in mind what she calls “the three Ps: proximity, price and pleasantries.” A location near both the ceremony and reception will make it easier for guests to get around. It should be affordable, clean and nicely decorated, and it should offer amenities such as a restaurant, a bar and airport shuttle service. You might even want to recommend accommodations in two different locations, at two different price points.Guests will appreciate it if you block rooms at a discounted rate. “Contracts for a block vary from hotel to hotel, so it’s imperative that you go over all the details,” says Danielle Norcross of Concierge Couture, a Florida-based company that collaborates with wedding planners and brides to make travel plans. In some cases, a credit card deposit is required, and there may be a deadline for booking rooms (usually about four weeks in advance); you may or may not be required to use all the rooms you’ve reserved. “We typically hold fewer rooms than expected,” says Norcross. “If we see rooms filling up quickly, it’s easy to add but not always to subtract.”Give GuidanceGuests will be on their own to book airfare and other transportation. To make it stress-free, consider working with a travel agent to find good deals and packages for them; Norcross’s company charges couples a fee of about $15 to $30 per guest for coordinating out-of-towners’ flights. Even though guests should manage their own transportation from the airport to the hotel, provide them with the name and phone number of a recommended taxi service and any details about hotel-provided transportation.Also, you’ll want to give guests some ideas of what to do while they’re in town, whether it’s sights to see or recommended restaurants. Make a list with pertinent information and post it on your website, or leave copies with the hotel concierge.Consider a Shuttle“Shuttling guests from the hotel to the wedding and back is always a good idea,” says Orsini. If you have room in your budget, consider hiring a bus or limo to do the honors. It gives everyone a designated driver for the evening—plus, party buses can be fun. Have flip-flops for tired feet, bottled water, mints and aspirin awaiting your guests on the bus: “They’ll love the surprise as they take their seats and head to the reception!” Orsini says.Don’t Go OverboardPlan fun events for out-of-towners, but don’t go over budget to accommodate them every step of the way. For instance, it’s customary to invite everyone coming from afar to the rehearsal dinner—and sometimes even a next-day brunch—but this may not be financially feasible. “Most people will not be offended if they’re not invited to pre- and post-wedding events,” says Orsini. Instead, suggest guests meet at a nearby hot spot for cocktails or take a tour of the town. Orsini says, “Take care of guests, but don’t feel guilty if you can’t afford to wine and dine them all weekend long.”Gift GivingGuests will appreciate a little basket or bag of treats to help them feel welcome. Consider:Comfort and Care Bottled water, fruit and crackers should satisfy their just-arrived cravings; throw in some bubble bath and soft slippers too.City-centric Marrying in the big city? Provide bus or rail tokens, a map, a guidebook and some locally made treats.Beachy Keen For a beach wedding, fill a sand pail with flip-flops, sunscreen and a gift card for ice cream on the boardwalk.Morning Glory A bagel, juice, pain reliever and the newspaper will make the a.m. after enjoyable.

Modern Chic Wedding Details

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 12:00:00 AM

Erasable ceramic place-card holders, $2 each, by myfavoriteweddingthings.com. Arrangement of calla lilies, lily grass and a calathea leaf, $175, by Flowers of the World, flowersoftheworld.com. Streamlined crystal champagne flutes for toasting, $30 each, by Lenox, lenox.com. Silk marcel faille gown with crystal appliqués on the bodice and gathered skirt, by Angel Sanchez, angelsanchezusa.com. Skyline-inspired invitation, $450 for 100, by The Green Kangaroo, tgkdesigns.com. Square coasters with calla lily design and custom initials, $35 for 100, by ForYourParty.com. Silver candle (box pictured in back), $25, and travel candle tin, $10, by Paddywax, paddywax.com. Three-tier cake covered in fondant with sugar calla lilies, $735 (serves 70), by Michelle Doll Cakes, michelledollcakes.com. Photography: Geoffrey Sokol

Nature-Inspired Wedding Ideas

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 12:00:00 AM

Bird’s-nest favor, $11 for 12, by Beaucoup, beau-coup.com. Blue Jordan almonds, available at exclusivelyweddings.com. Gold-tone leaf ornaments for favors, $15 each, by Jean M, myjeanm.com. Strapless dress with tiered floral-embroidered skirt, by Monique Lhuillier, moniquelhuillier.com. Wood pendant, adorned with mother-of-pearl bird, and silver chain, $125, by Amy Bengston, amybengston.com. Guest book, $29, by Jean M, myjeanm.com. Pencils, $7.20 for 12, by Beaucoup, beau-coup.com. Personalized paper hand fan, $1.25, by weddingthings.com. Letterpress invitation with songbird design, $1,290 for 100, by One Blossom, oneblossom.com. Fondant-covered cake, with fondant branch and sugarpaste lovebirds, $720 (serves 60), by Pink Cake Box, pinkcakebox.com. Photography: Geoffrey Sokol

8 Romantic Wedding Ideas

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 12:00:00 AM

Silk mikado mermaid gown with cascade of silk roses, by Atelier Aimée, aimee.it. Ribbon-tied bouquet of bouvardia, lilacs, nerine, ranunculus and ‘Rosita Vendela’ roses, $250, by Paisley, paisleyny.com. Cake with sugarpaste roses and floral bands, $350 (serves 35), by Cheryl Kleinman Cakes, 718-237-2271. Cotton handkerchief with embroidered monogram and roses, $14, by Weddingish, weddingish.com. Vintage-style flat-print invitation, price upon request, by Mariella Designs, marielladesigns.com. Rose-adorned table card with ribbon accent, $9, by Bellaterra, bellaterra.net. Silver-plated cake server and knife set, $49, by Jean M, myjeanm.com. Paper-bouquet favor box, $4, by weddingthings.com. Photography: Geoffrey Sokol

25 Ways to Create a Charitable Wedding

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:00:00 AM

Here’s the good news: You don’t have to turn into a self-obsessed Bridezilla while planning your wedding. With these simple, affordable ideas, you can contribute to some very worthy charitable causes and nonprofit organizations but still leave plenty of time, energy and sanity to prepare for the big day.1. Incorporate a charity into your shower. Your bridesmaids can ask each guest to bring canned goods to donate to a nearby food bank. Find one at secondharvest.org, and call for information on what’s needed and where to drop off the goods.2. Rent a nonprofit’s space. Think of how unique and beautiful your reception would be if it took place at a museum, historical site or botanical garden. Even better—you’ll know your site fee is supporting a favorite cause.3. Register for charitable gifts. First, set up a Bridal Guide Registry at bgregistry.com. Then go to your favorite charity’s website and find its donation page. With the “Add Gifts” tool, you can easily put it on your registry list. The I Do Foundation and firstgiving.com also make it easy to arrange for guests to give in your honor.4. Reuse your flowers. Call a local nursing home or hospital and ask if you can donate your reception blooms after the big day. Appoint a trusted friend or family member to transport the buds—and spread some cheer!5. Involve the wedding party. Instead of having a bridesmaids’ tea, ask your bridal party to spend a day on something worthwhile. Together you can help your state park by leading visitors on a group hike (nps.gov), or you can pitch in to build a home for a needy family (habitat.org). (You can still provide lunch or dinner afterward.) For more group ideas, go to volunteermatch.org.6. Shop and share online. Check out goodshop.com’s list of retailers (including airlines, jewelers and department stores) that will donate a percentage of your purchase to a good cause. Choose what you like—and click to start shopping.7. Forget the favors. Give the money you’d spend on trinkets to a beloved charity. If you make the donation through idofoundation.org, you can order place cards for your guests that explain the gift you’ve made.8. Or select favors with a purpose. Still want to give guests a sweet treat? Order tins of cookies from Feed Your Soul (feedyoursoulcookies.com); a varying amount (up to 10 percent) of the proceeds will go to the charity of your choice.9. Don’t waste the leftovers. Arrange to have any extra food from your reception “rescued” to feed hungry people in your area. Find out more from secondharvest.org.10. Set up some QT. Make a date with your fiancé to spend some quality time as volunteers. See charityguide.org for ideas.11. Charm your bridesmaids. As a thank-you, consider buying pretty charm bracelets or necklaces from Charity Charms. They will donate 25 percent to 75 percent of the purchase price to the ’maids’ favorite charities. Visit charitycharms.com to shop.12. Save a bundle. Got your wedding party’s gifts on sale? Give them the amount you saved in the form of donation certificates from charitychecks.us. Then, your groomsmen and bridesmaids can choose the organization where they’d like to have it go.13. Consider posterity. Record your grandparents’ life stories—including their own wedding day. StoryCorps (storycorps.net) can help. Not only is the recorded CD a gift to your grandparents, but it’s also a keepsake for future generations.14. Be honeymoon helpers. You can join an effort to build a much-needed school or clean up a beautiful valley—experiences you’ll always remember with pride. To explore these trip ideas and more, check out i-to-i.com, americanhiking.org and charityguide.org.15. Click your cause. On some websites, all it takes is a click. (Sponsors contribute each time someone clicks on a specific button.) We like thebreastcancersite.com and thehungersite.com. Make one of these your homepage, so you’re reminded of it each time you go online to research flower arrangements or limo services.16. Charge it. With the Working Assets credit card, every purchase you make—your shoes, your dress, your catering bill—benefits a charity of your choosing. Check out workingassets.comfor more information.17. Create care packages. Gift baskets are a nice touch for out-of-town guests. But consider making up some extras for troops overseas—they need snacks, aspirin and soap, too. Go to adoptaplatoon.org for more information.18. Choose invitations that give back. Buy Carlson Craft stationery on the I Do Foundation’s website (idofoundation.org), and 10 percent of your purchase will go to the charity of your choice.19. Spread the word on your wedding website. Create a “badge” at sixdegrees.org and post it on your site; it’s like an ad, telling visitors what cause you endorse and why—a little extra exposure never hurts. If your guests feel inclined to make a monetary contribution, they can simply click on the badge to begin.20. Hire nonprofit entertainers. Many cultural dance troupes and community performers practice their art to promote diversity and music or dance education. Know one you like? Hire them to do a number at your reception.21. Teach good values. Your littlest guests will love this project: making colorful pictures of the wedding day to give to loved ones who couldn’t be present.22. Donate your dress. You’ll never wear it again, right? After the big day, hand it—and other accessories—to Brides Against Breast Cancer. The organization will resell them and use the proceeds to help a woman with cancer. Go to bridesagainstbreastcancer.org for details.23. Ask your bridesmaids to do the same. The gals can give their gowns to an organization that provides prom dresses for disadvantaged high school girls; The Glass Slipper Project in Chicago is one. Glassslipperproject.org, the organization’s website, lists similar charities nationwide.24. Go the extra mile. After the honeymoon, give your frequent flier miles to the family of an injured soldier (heromiles.org). Or call your airline’s customer service to find out what charitable groups they’ve partnered with.25. Make a sale. Unwanted wedding gifts that aren’t returnable are definitely resalable. Do it through eBay Giving Works (givingworks.ebay.com), and a percentage of sales will go to your favorite organization—and you still profit.

Eco-friendly Wedding Products

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 12:00:00 AM

Vintage and handmade items add a charming touch.1234561 Frames made of reclaimed antique ceiling tin, $45 each, from UncommonGoods, uncommongoods.com. 2 Water-soluble, biodegradable confetti, available in a variety of colors, $10 per six-cup bag, available at Beaucoup, beau-coup.com. 3 A fun bachelorette party idea: tanks made of 100% organic cotton for all the gals, $32 each, by Weddingish, weddingish.com. 4 All-natural, handmade soaps with personalized wrappers in lavender, vanilla-almond oatmeal, goat milk and lemon verbena scents, $4 each, by SunFeather Natural Soap Company, sunfeather.com. 5 Bridal bouquet of organic white roses, white mini calla lilies and white hypericum berries mixed with locally grown blue hydrangea, peonies, ferns and geraniums, with a cascade of antique lace, $275, designed by dvGreen, dvgreen.com. Organic flowers provided by Organic Style, organicstyle.com. 6 Guest book made of 100% recycled, dye-free paper, made in an eco-friendly facility using recycled water, $70, by Twisted Limb Paperworks, twistedlimbpaper.com. Refillable antique silverware pen, $25, by Close the Loop, closetheloop.com. Invitation with green handmade paper wrap and leaf-motif sticker, about $300 for 100, and favor card with two heart tags made of flower seeds, about $180 for 100, both using at least 30% recycled paper, by Naturally Ever After, naturallyeverafter.com.Good-for-the-earth décor makes clever use of quality materials. 1 234561 Synthetic dye- and additive-free soy candles: blue glass, $14, white pillar (also contains beeswax), $15, purple glass votive (with the scent of essential oils), $6, favor tin with custom personalized sticker, $6, all by Way Out Wax, wayoutwax.com. 2 Hydrangea-adorned blue invitation with 100% recycled reply and outer envelopes, $1,000 for 100, by Kenzie Kate Invitations, kenziekate.com. 3 For the ’maids, recycled glass-beaded bracelets handmade by West African artisans, $59 for set of three, by VivaTerra, vivaterra.com. Necklaces, whose purchase price helps plant trees through the American Forest Association, $125 each, by Tina Tang, tinatang.com. 4 For the groomsmen, blue cufflinks made of material from old Yankee Stadium seats (other ballparks also available), $150, antique typewriter-key initial cufflinks, $43, and business-card case made of a reclaimed circuit board, $25, all from eco-artware.com. 5 2004 Magister Bibendi Crianza wine, made from organically grown grapes, $19, and 2004 El Talud, created in a solar-powered, eco-conscious winery, $14, both from Rioja, Spain, vibrantrioja.com. 6 100% vegan—mostly organic—vanilla cake with blue tinted frosting and multicolored accents, $130 (serves 20), by BabyCakes NYC. Pedestal plate made of 90% recycled glass, price and stores upon request, by Fire & Light, fireandlight.com.Eat, drink and reuse! Treats for your fete and the environment1234561 Boxes of two bonbons, made of organic, fair trade chocolate in a wind-powered facility, available with custom designs, $8 each, by CocoaVino, cocoavino.com. 2 Perfect for shower favors or bridesmaids’ gifts, cosmetic cases woven of recycled paper in pink, chocolate and teal, $5.50 each, by Bliss! Weddings Market, blissweddingsmarket.com. 3 Handmade, organic, iced vanilla cookies with personalization, $4 to $5 each (depending on quantity), by Beautiful Sweets, beautifulsweets.com. 4 Butterfly-accented, biodegradable rice-paper napkins, $4.50 for 15, by EcoParti, ecoparti.com. 5 Pink-and-white paisley save-the-date and envelope, printed with soy-based ink and customizable on your own computer, $16 for 10, by Daisy Princess Paperie, daisyprincesspaperie.com. Menu card of artisan-made, recycled paper with sheer printed overlay and black ribbon, $1.50, by WomanCraft, the social enterprise of Deborah’s Place, womancraft.net. “Will you be my bridesmaid?” greeting card printed on recycled paper with soy-based ink, $3.75, by Mariella Designs, marielladesigns.com. 6 For an earth-friendly cocktail hour, organic mixes to create pomegranate cosmopolitans, citrus margaritas, French martinis or mojitos (just add spirits), $12 each, by Modmix, modmixbeverages.com. Photography: David Kressler.

Great Wedding Performances

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:00:00 AM

Don’t make the common mistake of overlooking videography! Capturing your event on film is more important than you may think. “Videos record fleeting events that photography cannot, like the spoken words of your vows, conversations with your bridesmaids, moments of anticipation or even your father’s toast,” says Tim Smith of Tim Alan Studios and weddingfilmsnyc.com in New York City.Some couples worry that having a videographer means their wedding will turn into an elaborate production. But the huge lights of the past are no more, and today’s technology also allows cameramen to be much less conspicuous. “A tiny wireless mike clips onto the groom’s lapel,” explains Smith. “It can even pick up whispers between the bride and groom during the ceremony. My cameras are small, and I can shoot from 50 feet across the room.” Convinced? Follow these steps for perfect results.Get referrals This Is Your Life!Create a video of your love story to show at your rehearsal dinner or reception with these tips from Peilin Chou and John Brancaccio of Lifefilm Productions in New York City.• Go for quality. Commission a videographer or a company that specializes in personal documentaries, like Lifefilm.• Unearth home movies and childhood photos of the two of you; gather shots from your courtship as well.• Have yourselves filmed in meaningful places, doing things you love.• Ask close family and friends to share their fond memories of the two of you by telling them to the camera.• When your pro is putting it all together, make sure your video has a clear narrative line.• Keep the video to less than 10 minutes for the reception, less than 20 for the rehearsal dinner.• The best time to show your love story? Either before you’re introduced to the crowd or right after dinner.• Give copies to everyone who appears in the film, and keep your own as a family heirloom. As with other vendors, recommendations from friends, family and other wedding pros are usually your best bet. “Ask your photographer who he works well with,” says Smith. Both will be chronicling your big day, and you don’t want them bickering over the same camera angle. Depending on a number of factors (including where you live), you can expect to pay about $2,000 to $8,000 for the whole project.Go with your gutWhile in the end it will come down to who you like best, there are a number of factors to consider when deciding whom to go with. Once you’ve found a few good pros in your price range, arrange meetings so you get to know them and their work. Their samples could run the gamut from productions that include animation or interviews with wedding VIPs to those shot at a music-video pace or nonchronologically edited. You’re also likely to see straightforward documentary styles. Whose method do you like best? “Make sure you see more than one example of a pro’s portfolio, so you know there’s consistency of style and quality,” says Aron Eisenberg of Reel Life Pictures in Los Angeles. Also, keep in mind that this person will be there with you on a highly emotional day. Do you want him in close proximity for hours on end? Does he seem able to handle stress?Consider technology and equipmentIt’s OK if you don’t know all the fancy terms! Sit down with your pro and let him know which parts of his videos you like—or don’t. Ask him what equipment he’ll bring along. For example, says Eisenberg, “Some cameramen use a steadicam with a large mechanical arm that creates a smooth, movie-like result. But the equipment can be obtrusive to the bride and groom.”Ask what’s newWhat’s hot in the field now? Some brides want parts of their wedding day shot in Super 8, a film that conveys a nostalgic, 1960s feeling. Others want a short version of their video that they can upload onto their wedding website or iPod. Also, some pros are beginning to shoot in widescreen HD, which costs more but may be important as high definition television becomes the norm. Discuss what is right for you and how much any extras will cost.Enjoy the Day! How can a bride and groom ensure a great video? Relax, smile and have fun. “The more a bride gazes into her new husband’s eyes and looks happy, the more radiant she’ll look,” says Eisenberg. “And the video will be immeasurably better.”

Top 90 Wedding Songs

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 12:00:00 AM

Pre-CeremonyMusic StyleSong TitleListen NowTraditional1. Water Music (Handel) 2. The Wedding Song (Paul Stookey)Popular3. Bitter Sweet Symphony (The Verve)4. A Day Without Rain (Enya)5. By Your Side (Sade) Modern6. Clocks (Coldplay)7. Rainbow Connection (Sarah McLachlan)Bridal Party EntranceMusic StyleSong TitleListen NowTraditional8. Canon in D (Pachelbel)9. Trumpet Tune (Purcell)10. Autumn (Vivaldi) Popular 11. Café del Mar (Nalin & Kane)12. Clair de Lune (Ocean’s Eleven)Modern 13. Forrest Gump Suite (theme from the film)14. Now We Are Free (Zimmer and Gerard)Bride’s EntranceMusic StyleSong TitleListen NowTraditional15. Wedding March (Mendelssohn) 16. Hymne (Vangelis)Popular 17. Flora’s Secret (Enya)18. Trumpet Tune & Air (Purcell)19. Fantasia On Greensleeves (English folk song)Modern 20. You Raise Me Up (Josh Groban) 21. The Prayer (Bocelli and Dion)RecessionalMusic StyleSong TitleListen NowTraditional22. La Rejouissance (Handel) 23. Allegro Maestoso (Handel)24. Spring (Vivaldi) Popular 25. Is This Love (Bob Marley)26. Ode to Joy (Beethoven)Modern 27. Beautiful Day (U2)28. All You Need Is Love (The Beatles)Reception Music: Couple’s EntranceMusic StyleSong TitleListen NowTraditional29. Grand March from Aida (Verdi)30. Love’s Theme (Barry White)Popular 31. Pick Up the Pieces (Average White Band)32. Chariots of Fire (Vangelis)33. We Will Rock You (Queen)34. Baba O’Reilly (The Who)Modern 35. When I Get You Alone (Thicke)36. Let’s Get It Started (Black Eyed Peas)37. Crazy in Love (Beyoncé /Jay-Z)First Dance Wedding SongsMusic StyleSong TitleListen NowTraditional38. At Last (Etta James)39. This Will Be (Natalie Cole)40. Unchained Melody (Righteous Brothers)41. All I Ask of You (Phantom of the Opera)42. When I Fall in Love (Nat King Cole)Popular 43. Crazy (Patsy Cline)44. Let’s Stay Together (Al Green) 45. Have I Told You Lately (Van Morrison) 46. I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You (Elvis Presley) 47. Wonderful Tonight (Eric Clapton)Modern 48. You’re Still the One (Shania Twain) 49. Come Away with Me (Norah Jones) 50. I Could Not Ask for More (Edwin McCain)51.Truly Madly Deeply (Savage Garden) 52. I Love You (Sarah McLachlan)53. Making Memories of Us (Keith Urban)Father/Daughter Dance Music StyleSong TitleListen NowTraditional54. Daddy’s Little Girl (Al Martino) 55. Thank Heaven for Little Girls (Maurice Chevalier)56. Sunrise, Sunset (Fiddler on the Roof)Popular 57. My Girl (The Temptations)58. Wind Beneath My Wings (Bette Midler) Modern 59. Hero (Mariah Carey)60. My Little Girl (Tim McGraw)61. I Hope You Dance (Lee Ann Womack)Mother/Son Dance Music StyleSong TitleListen NowTraditional62. What a Wonderful World (Louis Armstrong)63. You Are My Sunshine (Bill Henderson)Popular 64. You’re the Inspiration (Chicago)65. Times of Your Life (Paul Anka)66. In My Life (The Beatles)67. Through the Years (Kenny Rogers)Modern 68. Kind & Generous (Natalie Merchant) Cake CuttingMusic StyleSong TitleListen NowTraditional69. Love & Marriage (Frank Sinatra)70. Sugar Sugar (Archies)Popular 71. How Sweet It Is (James Taylor)72. Lips Like Sugar (Echo & The Bunnymen)Modern 73. Love You Madly (Cake)74. Sweetest Thing (U2) Bouquet Toss Music StyleSong TitleListen NowTraditional75. She’s a Lady (Tom Jones)Popular 76. Girls Just Want to Have Fun (Cyndi Lauper)Modern 77. Hollaback Girl (Gwen Stefani) 78. Hey Ladies (Beastie Boys)Garter Toss Music StyleSong TitleListen NowTraditional79. James Bond ThemePopular 80. Bad Boys (Inner Circle)81. I’m Too Sexy (Right Said Fred)Modern 82. Gettin' Jiggy Wit It (Will Smith)Last Dance Wedding SongsMusic StyleSong TitleListen NowTraditional83. Last Dance (Donna Summer)84. New York, New York (Frank Sinatra)85. Almost Like Being in Love (Nat King Cole)Popular 86. Happy Together (Buck Wild)87. What a Wonderful World (Joey Ramone)Modern 88. Good Riddance (Green Day)89. Save the Last Dance for Me (Michael Bublé)90. Closing Time (Semisonic)

Wedding Trends You'll Love

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 12:00:00 AM

Dazzling Décor A summer table is framed by potted lemon trees. Arrangements of fruit and flowers add fragrance and visual splendor to the look. Photography: Meg Smith Photography.Pattern will pop up everywhere this year, according to Francesca Abbracciamento, of New York’s Francesca Events. “There’s an emphasis on interesting ones, reinvented in a romantic way,” she says. A graphic floral design, for example, may be embossed on save-the-dates, engraved on menu cards and even used as a decal painted on the dance floor.The color you won’t be seeing in 2008 is green. “Check last year’s celadon off your list,” says Abbracciamento. The newest colors are dove gray and plum, says Jung Lee of New York’s Fete. Think in vignettes, says Lee, author of Fete, the Wedding Experience (Stewart, Tabori and Chang). “I’m doing one wedding whose story is an outdoor dinner party given by a Russian czar. Another one was inspired by the lavish look of Marie Antoinette and Versailles.” Home weddings are popular. “I’m seeing lots of weddings take place in homes offered to the couple by friends or family,” says Abbracciamento. “There’s something special about that because things come together in a flawless, natural way.”Go for a sweeping vision. Abbracciamento says, “One wedding had white vases, in a million different shapes and sizes. Another had three-foot-high candelabra with lampshades—gigantic and gorgeous. And yet another had long tables for 200 guests, with suede runners and boxes of succulents.” Long, elegant tables are popular. Here, tall glass vases are filled with branches, sprays of delicate flowers and dramatic greenery. Photography: Meredith Davenport of Christian Oth Studios.Still hot—long tables that give that old-fashioned banquet feeling. “They create instant drama,” Lee adds. Abbracciamento prefers square and rectangular shapes. Bar décor has changed. “It might be plexiglass lit from within. It should be architectural and modern,” Abbracciamento asserts.“The after-dinner lounge is bigger than ever,” according to Abbracciamento. “It’s all about comfy, oversize furniture arranged around the dance floor. The fabrics should be plush velvet, and the ambience sleek and sophisticated.”Perfect NotesWHAT'S INHybrid bands: “For a groom who loved Latin music, and a bride who loved klezmer—Jewish or Eastern European music—we formed a klezmer/bossa nova ensemble,” says Manhattan wedding designer Karen Bussen.Dueling DJs: If you want a club atmosphere and you’re doing an after- party, this can be great fun.Salsa: “Not many people know all the old-fashioned ballroom steps, but a lot know how to salsa,” reports Bussen.WHAT'S OUTClassical music played at cocktail hours. “I’m hearing lots more hot jazz instead,” says Bussen. “Couples nowadays seem to want something more unusual for their music.”Hiring a band just because you think you have to have one. Couples think that a band is the only way to go. Not so! If you prefer, hire a DJ instead. Split sets “The format used to be dancing, eating, more dancing, more eating,” according to Bussen. “Now many couples are opting to have soft music while they eat, and then kicking up their heels after dinner with live music or a lounge with a DJ.”Cake WalkA sleek look is achieved with fondant icing accented with chocolate dots and set off by strategically placed vibrant blooms. Photography: Belathee.Height: Wedding cakes are heading straight to the stratosphere, according to Lisa Kincaid of Fleur de Lisa in Sonoma County, CA. “The silhouette is tall and slender,” she says. Karen Bussen agrees. “I recently did a seven-tier white fondant cake with red sugar lilies between the layers. We put it up on a pedestal.” Pattern: “It’s not always about having flowers on the cake,” says Bussen. “There are all these wonderful appliqués; you can do something that looks like the design on a dress, or a woodcut print. There may not be a flower in sight!”Color: Monochromatic cakes—last year’s major trend—are still going strong. But for some brides, the seasons may define color. For example, Kincaid says that a fall cake will be done in autumn colors, like reds, browns and oranges.Taste: According to Kincaid, the latest trend is to pick a different flavor for each tier of the cake. “One cake I did had a caramel-apple tier, a raspberry-zinger tier and a lemon-poppy tier with cream cheese filling.” Always hot? Chocolate, in a million and one variations. “I have a café au lait cake with devil’s food filling. I also do Italian meringue- espresso and chocolate-truffle cream fillings,” Kincaid says.Cakes in one muted color are popular, with subtle tone-on-tone touches. Photography: Lisa Marie Kincaid of Fleur de Lisa, fleurdelisacakes.com.Toppers: “Some people are now choosing the retro look of bride and groom figures as cake toppers,” says Bussen. “I think it’s very sweet!” How Inviting“The new look is a twist on tradition,” says Julie Walker of Carrot & Stick Press in Oakland. She likes formal invitations printed in eye-popping colors like blues and reds. Brooklyn invitation designer Bryn Smith reports, “People are embracing their own style. One couple is really into Latin American culture. They love the art of Mexican paper cutting, so I used it for their invites. Couples are taking risks, using bold colors and going out there. They want invitations that will get guests excited.”“We’re doing custom maps for the invitations,” Walker says. Couples give us all the landmarks they want included, and we put together an artistic map that complements the invitation.”Smith is seeing a trend toward playful wording on invites, save-the-dates, and programs. “Instead of ‘reception to follow,’ one couple had ‘Whistle-wetting and rug-cutting to follow.’” “Letterpress is back,” Smith asserts. “It has such a unique, handmade quality.” She’s also seeing more silkscreen invites.Invites are becoming more environmentally friendly. “People are interested in soy inks, recycled paper and wasting less paper,” says Smith. Instead of an envelope, one couple chose to have an invitation card that folded in half with a wafer seal, and directed guests to RSVP online.Fab FloralsThis lush bouquet bursts with anemones, begonias, ranunculus, protea and garden roses. Black silk leaves are a uniquely sophisticated touch. Photography: Meg Smith Photography.The favorite flowers for 2008? “Champagne mums and poppies,” says floral designer Ariella Chezar, based in the Massachusetts Berkshires. The green of choice? Ferns. Chezar uses citrus fruits, peaches, cherries and blueberry bushes in arrangements. “To me, fruit evokes the lush, bountiful feeling of a Dutch still life,” she says. Unusual centerpiece vases and vessels are moving center stage, says Matthew Robbins of Manhattan’s Artfool event-design company. “We’re using items that are outside the box—really eclectic groupings of vintage containers or teapots or creamers or wooden boxes you line and put flowers in. We did one table with Chinese tea tins in different sizes with wonderful flowers. It made a huge visual statement.”Chezar’s suggestions for different looks: For a tropical feel, arrange banana leaves on a mantelpiece, with an orchid peeking out of a coconut. Go modern with balls of carnations floating in the pool and table arrangements of grasses and branches. For an organic ambience, try a lush, loose, garden-y...

Wedding Diary: A Bride's Journey to the Altar

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 12:00:00 AM

When we found out that Hilary Linder, a promotions director in Columbus, Ohio, was getting married, we asked her to keep a candid diary to share with our readers. Hilary tracked her progress through the seven months leading up to her big day. Take a peek—and get the real story!7 Months and 18 Days to GoIt’s my birthday—and I’m engaged! Brian, who lives in Cincinnati, came into town to take me out to dinner, and while the two of us were hanging out in my kitchen, he gave me my birthday present. It was a Bengals jersey (we’re big fans) and I put it on, then went to check it out in the mirror. When I came back, there was a ring box waiting for me on the counter. Then Brian said, “I was wondering if you would spend the rest of your life with me.” I was so excited, I kept saying, “Oh my God.” It was just unreal! I couldn’t take the smile off my face for the rest of the night.7 Months and 17 Days to GoBrian’s been joking that he doesn’t know if I said yes last night—it was indistinguishable from all those “Oh my Gods.” But now he’s sure I accepted because I’ve already started planning our wedding. I typed up a guest list; every person I’ve ever met is on there—totalling about 250! I’ll refine the list later, but it was fun to imagine everyone sharing our big day.7 1⁄2 Months to GoI grew up dreaming of planning my wedding, so Brian and I agreed that I’d do most of it myself. Luckily, we’re getting financial support from our families: My mom is paying for the reception, and Brian’s family is doing the rehearsal dinner. After checking out a few area venues, Mom and I decided on the Hilton for both the ceremony and reception. It fits the elegant vision I have, and it’s a great place for out-of-towners to stay. I really want to have a spring wedding, so we set the date for a little over seven months away.7 Months to GoMy sister, the maid of honor, suggested black for the bridesmaid dresses, so I’m going with her advice. She and another bridesmaid came shopping with me and tried on a bunch of dresses. They commented on what they liked, then I made the final pick: gorgeous two-piece, strapless, David’s Bridal gowns.In the same trip, we shopped for my dress. It was so exciting. I was choked up, thinking, “I can’t believe I’m wearing a wedding dress!” At first, I said “no way” to strapless gowns, but the girls convinced me to try one on. I loved the style so much, it was all I’ve looked at since. The gown I chose is one I’d been admiring in a magazine ad for a while.6 1⁄2 Months to GoBrian is creative, so I thought he’d want to help me select the invitations. He got really into it and we looked through several books. He picked the winner: a square card with silver backing, covered by a sheer overlay with a personalized sticker. Once we started on the wording, I realized I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t know what time the ceremony would start. One phone call to the Hilton later, I had the time worked out and we were ready to go ahead with the invites.6 Months to GoA few friends have pointed out that most brides have a year to plan, but because my engagement period will be much shorter, I’ll have to book vendors quickly, while they’re still available. I’m starting to feel the pressure! I’ve found a string quartet to play classic wedding songs at the ceremony—and then break into “I Got You Babe”! And I found a DJ for the reception, too. Brian and I decided on a honeymoon Caribbean cruise. I like that on a cruise everything is planned for you.5 1⁄2 Months to GoMy mom and I met with a florist today. He sat us down with 30 or so books of floral arrangements to peruse. I don’t know what I want my wedding colors to be yet, so I was overwhelmed. Whenever I turned a page, I wavered: “Oh, yellow looks good,” or “Red would be a nice color.” Maybe I don’t have a vision for my wedding after all! It was exhausting, and the florist wasn’t very helpful.4 Months to GoMy mom recently called me and asked me to hire a wedding planner. She said she thought I was getting in over my head. I hate to admit it, but I was. My biggest reservation about having a planner is spending the extra money, but after meeting with Jamie from Devoted to Details, I felt much better about it. During our appointment, there weren’t heaps of books, just conversation. When I told her that Brian is a landscape architect, she came up with the perfect idea: a romantic garden theme. The wedding will be decorated with trees, topiaries, beds of grass and lush flowers. She will even connect me with a florist who can pull it off.3 Months to GoThere have been two major changes to my plans: the DJ and my dress. At a bridal show, I met a DJ whose excitement was contagious, and he offered everything I wanted. So I hired him and canceled the one I had already booked, whom I’d never even met. (I had just reserved the date over the phone.) I guess I’d rushed in too soon.As for the dress, the salon owner called me to say she’d found out my gown was discontinued. I was disappointed, but another day of dress shopping isn’t such a bad thing. I settled on a really pretty beaded gown by Maggie Sottero.2 Months to GoIn Ohio, you can get your marriage license 60 days before the wedding. Brian and I went the first day we could. We were as giddy as school kids. We had to recite an oath, which we took very seriously. Afterward, we showed the license to anyone we thought might care. It was a big day!I also had two bridal showers this month: one planned by my mom’s friends and the other given by my sister for my friends and Brian’s relatives. I had a great time at both, especially during the games my sister came up with! She’d asked Brian questions about our relationship, and I had to guess how he’d responded. I did well!1 Month to GoThis month has been a whirlwind! I’ve been busy with a hair and makeup trial, my final dress fitting, the bachelorette party, baking cookies with Mom for the welcome bags and finalizing lots of details. I’m more exhilarated than stressed, but I am always thinking about what I have to do next. I keep organized by making a list every night of everything I want to accomplish the next day. 1 Week to GoI can’t believe my DJ didn’t want to meet with me until the week of my wedding, but he said he wanted everything to be fresh in his mind. I’ve also been finishing the welcome bags, dropping things off at the venue and making what seems like thousands of phone calls. I’m actually having fun with all this craziness, because it keeps me looking forward to the big day!The Wedding DayI’m a married woman! The day went very smoothly. (Except for some behind-the-scenes stuff the planner told me about later, like the twinkle lights that almost never went up.) There were so many great moments, like this one: A few days before the wedding, we had signed all the programs individually, and at one point, I had dotted the “i” in my name with a heart. Brian laughed and did the same with his name—on only one program. When we exited the ceremony, we picked up a program as a souvenir. We happened to grab the one with the hearts!—as told to Elena Donovan Mauer

Building Your Wedding Website

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 12:00:00 AM

Think of a wedding website as one-stop shopping, a place where you can give guests all the details they need to plan ahead for your big event. It's also a fun way to communicate with everyone, sharing photos and wedding details. No matter your skill level, you can have a great looking, informative site. Here's how.Find the Right HostThere are plenty of ways to get online. If you're tech savvy, you probably already know how. If you're a newbie, simply do an Internet search for web hosts. Look for ones with design templates (also called wizards), which will let you choose the look of your pages and input your own photos and information. Most are as easy to use as a word-processing program and offer support if you have questions.For even more ease, use a provider of wedding-themed sites. (Just search "wedding website.") These are great choices because they likely offer the features you'll want to use most—for example, wedding-themed templates and online RSVP capabilities.You can also hire a professional to create a top-notch, personalized design for your event. "Working with us is a very customized experience," says Erin Feldman, co-owner of ourweddingwebsites.com, a full-service web design company. "We can pretty much do anything a couple wants." So, if you're strapped for time but want a flawless result, consider splurging $200 to $2,000 on a pro.Personalize the SiteYou'll probably start by creating the look of your site. "The best ones reflect the wedding's style, colors and theme," says Katie Simpson, who works with Feldman. Many couples put their photo on the home page.Make your site extra personal by giving it a memorable URL. Something with your names like tinaandtom.net will stick in guests' minds. However, you're apt to pay around $30 extra for this.Add Info and FunGuests will appreciate information that will make the big day easier for them. This means all the details that are on the invitation, as well as hotel recommendations and local activities for out-of-towners. You'll also want to help them find their way around. "Driving directions and a printable map are always good to have," says Feldman.Continue to add fun pages to keep guests excited. Create a guest book, where they can write you well wishes. You can even keep a blog of your planning. "Friends and family members enjoy hearing that you picked out the flowers or booked the honeymoon," says Haroon Mokhtarzada, CEO of freewebs.com. (But don't reveal too much!) "I like polls," says Mokhtarzada. "You can ask guests to vote on whether the bridesmaids should wear pink or fuchsia dresses."How can you make your site truly great? "Lots of good quality photos," says Simpson. "It's also really nice to explain the traditions that will be part of your ceremony, especially if it's a multicultural wedding." Your pages should be easy to navigate; have a friend test them out to be sure guests can quickly find information they need. Include links to other resources that guests may want to use, like your Bridal Guide bgregistry.com gift site.Announce It in StyleIf you're sending out save-the-dates, add a note at the bottom, inviting guests to check out your website. Or send an e-mail to family and friends with a link to it. However you spread the word, don't put the URL on a formal invitation. And always remember that some guests may not be Internet users, so make sure all the essential info (who, what, when, where…) is on your mailed invites.

Prevent Wedding-Day Mishaps

Sat, 14 May 2005 12:00:00 AM

Your Be-Prepared KitCreate your own “emergency” pack with these big-day essentials (or purchase Mindy Weiss’ Emergency Wedding Kit, $45, at mindyweiss.com):Stain-removal wipes. For spills on most fabrics (sold at pharmacies and grocery stores).Baby powder. Great for preventing shoes from squeaking as you walk and for controlling light perspiration.Hairspray. For tress repair.Double-stick fabric tape. Fix fallen hems or fasten bra straps that keep peeking out of your gown or your bridesmaids’ dresses (sold at fabric and craft stores).Moleskin. Attach to shoes to prevent blisters and as padding for sore feet (sold at pharmacies).Scissors. To cut the moleskin and the fabric tape down to size.Superglue. Among its uses: repairing shoe heels that snap off and fingernails that break.Breath mints. They help with dry mouth, and keep your breath sweet for greeting guests and for your first kiss as husband and wife.Straws. Sip drinks through a straw to avoid ruining your lipstick.Ibuprofen. A fast fix for headaches.Mini sewing kit. Include thread in white and in the color of your bridesmaids’ dresses to repair last-minute tears.Clear nail polish. Use it to stop pantyhose runs in their tracks.Tissues. For tears and much more. The Oops: You or a sloppy guest spills red wine on your gown. The Fix: In a pinch, stain-removal wipes will work wonders on most dresses, says Mindy Weiss, a California-based event planner who has coordinated weddings for celebrity brides like Trista Rehn, Jessica Simpson and Gwen Stefani. "If you address the problem quickly, you'll have a better chance of getting the spot out completely," advises John Mahdessian, President of Madame Paulette, a fabric-care specialist in New York City . He recommends the Madame Paulette Professional Stain Removal Kit (purchase it for $6 at madamepaulette.com), and swears it will remove any stain—from oil-based foundation makeup to red wine to tomato sauce—on any fabric within minutes. The Oops: You rip the hem of your gown on the way to the reception. The Fix: No time to sew it back on? Break out a roll of double-sided fabric tape and use a piece to stick the torn hem back in place. If you don't have fabric tape on hand, masking tape or gaffer's tape (which a lighting professional would have in his or her kit) will do the trick, says Weiss. The Oops: While you're at the altar, the room starts to spin and you feel faint. The Fix: Grab a seat quickly (ideally, you'll have arranged ahead of time to have a chair placed near the altar). "Sometimes when you stand for a long time blood pools in your legs, making you feel light-headed," explains Angelo Racaniello, M.D., an emergency room physician at JFK Medical Center in Edison, New Jersey . Some prevention: Eat a healthful breakfast the morning of your wedding—say, scrambled eggs, a piece of toast and fruit. An empty stomach can make you more prone to dizziness, especially if you sip champagne before the festivities begin. And, drink lots of water, as dehydration may also make you feel weak.The Oops: By the end of the ceremony your feet are so sore you can barely walk, never mind dance the night away. The Fix: If you have your heart set on a gorgeous pair of shoes that you know will torture your tootsies, wear them down the aisle and for pictures, then switch to a more comfortable pair when the party starts. Or, put on some sneakers (don't worry—your gown will hide them), or just kick off your shoes altogether, says Weiss. Regardless of the shoes you choose, break them in two weeks ahead of time; spend about 10 minutes a day wearing them on a carpet so you they don't get dirty or scuffed, advises Weiss. The Oops: You have a hangover from last night's rehearsal dinner. The Fix: Drink up—water, that is. Alcohol causes dehydration, so you need to replenish your body's liquids. (You may even be able to ward off that nasty morning-after feeling by downing plenty of H20 before you go to bed after a night of imbibing, says Dr. Racaniello.) Then, eat to beat that sluggish feeling—something bland, such as oatmeal cooked in water or a banana, that won't trigger a bout of vomiting or diarrhea. Pop ibuprofen (with food) to ease a headache, and an antacid like Tums if you have a queasy stomach, says Dr. Racaniello. The Oops: Heat and nerves are making your sweat glands work overtime. The Fix: You need a strong antiperspirant. In the months before your wedding, try out different brands while you exercise to find the one that works best. If you can't find something strong enough, talk to your doctor. A prescription formula like Drysol or Xerac AC is more powerful than the usual drugstore offerings, says Debra Jaliman, M.D., a clinical instructor atMt.SinaiMedicalCenter and a dermatologist in private practice in New York City . Depending on the style of your gown, you can also have your dressmaker sew in absorbent perspiration pads under the arms of your dress, adds Weiss. If you tend to perspire all over, lightly apply Zeasorb, a super-absorbent powder that's stronger than many talcs (it's available at most drugstores), to trouble spots.The Oops: It's raining.The Fix: All you can do is make the wet weather less of a nuisance. If your wedding will be outdoors, have a backup plan—perhaps put a waterproof canopy on hold at a local rental company so you can get it at the last minute, if need be. Another bright idea: Hand out inexpensive parasols to guests without umbrellas. Weiss often attaches a note reading, "Rain, rain, go away. But you won't ruin our wedding day!" Chances are guests will remember this clever touch more than they will a few raindrops.

Tricky "I Do" Dilemmas—Real Brides Speak Out

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 12:00:00 AM

Planning your wedding is a huge undertaking, but those weeks and months are also some of the best and most exciting times you’ll probably ever have. Of course, that doesn’t mean you’re not going to hit a few snags along the way—you know, like figuring out how to ensure your divorced parents and their significant others get along on your big day, or the right way to let your guests know their precious little ones aren’t welcome at your sophisticated affair. As a result, you may find yourself moaning with misery when you should be humming “Here Comes the Bride.” Need help sorting things out? You’re in luck. Meet six women who’ve successfully solved some common pre-wedding problems.My Two Dads“I don’t know who should walk me down the aisle—my father, or my stepfather?”Who would escort Gina Yager on her trip to the altar? Her father and stepdad both dreamed of that honor for the Las Vegas publicist’s September 2001 wedding to Ian Yager. Though Gina’s parents had divorced when she was two, her biological father, John, while often unable to support Gina financially, had always been a presence in her life. “He was there for me emotionally,” says Gina.Yet, when Gina’s mom remarried, her new husband, Ken, became a loving and devoted parent to the now-five-year-old girl—cheering her on in gymnastics, helping her do homework and giving advice as she grew up. He also offered to foot the bill for her wedding when her birth father said he was unable to help out. The result: Ken and John both felt they had the sole right to give their daughter away. “I was caught in the middle,” says Gina. Her solution? Both fathers would walk her down the aisle. “First, I took my father aside and told him, ‘You may not like it, but I want you and Ken to split the walk,’ ” says Gina. “ ‘I’d like you to start it and Ken to give me away. Ken loves me, he’s given me so much, and I want to reciprocate.’ Next, I told my stepdad, ‘I want to give you both this opportunity since you both are a part of my life. I’m his biological daughter and you developed me into who I am today.’ I also asked him to answer the officiant’s question, ‘Who gives you away?’ with ‘Her mother, father and I do,’ not just ‘Her mother and I do.’ ”Despite some initial resistance—the two fathers quibbled over exactly how many steps each would take—Gina’s wedding day went off without a hitch. “Both of my dads came around, realizing it was my day and that this is what I wanted,” says the bride. “Everyone was so happy at the wedding, especially when I did two father-daughter dances. It was a truly spectacular day.” In the Spotlight“My fiancé insists his son be in our ceremony, but I’m worried he’ll steal my thunder.”When her fiancé, Louis Goldberg, first requested his then-seven-year-old son Matthew, a child from Goldberg’s previous marriage, serve as best man in the couple’s June 2002 ceremony, Staci Vernick, of Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania, wasn’t thrilled with the idea. “First of all, I wasn’t sure he could handle the responsibility,” says Staci. “I thought he might feel shy or uncertain taking center stage, or even act out if he felt his dad wasn’t paying enough attention to him, which is a normal reaction for a kid who’s about to get a new stepmom. But I admit I also didn’t want to share the spotlight: An adorable child might be too much of a scene-stealer.” After discussing her worries with her fiancé, Staci and Louis decided to name Matthew co-best man alongside family friend Frank Carney, who would be there if Matthew got anxious or forgot what he was supposed to do. Then the couple assigned Matthew additional jobs that would make him feel like an extra-special part of the celebration, and prepped him for months.On the wedding day, Matthew greeted guests and handed out yarmulkes before the Jewish ceremony, then stood next to his dad through it, even placing a glass under his father’s foot for the traditional glass-breaking ritual. “He carried it off with great maturity for a seven-year-old,” says Staci. “Matthew felt important and proud that we’d trusted him with such big responsibilities, and because he was so well-behaved I never felt like I was competing with him for the spotlight.” Looking back, Staci realizes Matthew’s role helped unite the three of them as a family. “We now have cherished memories that we wouldn’t have had if Matthew hadn’t been a part of the wedding,” says Staci. “If involving your fiancé’s children is important to him, you have to make it work. Think of it this way: This is your first step as a married couple—and a family—and you don’t want to get off on the wrong foot.”Taking Attendants“How do I tell my friends they won’t be bridesmaids?”Last among her friends to marry, Kristina Junger-Godfrey, a publicist in Newport Beach, California, was a bridesmaid in a dozen weddings by the time she wed Todd Godfrey in April 2003. That left a mind-numbing number of potential bridesmaids. But Kristina’s budget couldn’t accommodate such a large wedding party; she also wanted a small affair. So what did she do? Since she couldn’t have all 12 of them, and she didn’t want to have to choose among them, Kristina decided none of them would take part in the ceremony. “I gently explained that, instead of bridesmaids, I would be having my mother stand next to me, and my husband’s mom next to him,” says Kristina. “Only one of them—one of my two best friends—tried to sway me. Wanting to be by my side, sharing my joy, as I had at their weddings, Nicole suggested that only she and my other closest friend be attendants. I told her that I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that because then the others would wonder why they weren’t up there, too.” Nicole was still hurt, so in order to assuage her feelings Kristina made a concession: She invited those two women’s four-year-old daughters to serve as flower girls, which in turn gave her an excuse to invite the two mothers to the rehearsal dinner (including all the other would-be bridesmaids would have been far too costly). Fortunately, Nicole was delighted—and ended up taking on some bridesmaid responsibilities anyway, like hosting a bridal shower and the bachelorette party. She also attended every one of Kristina’s gown fittings. “I’d worried so much about this dilemma that I lost sleep at times,” says the bride. “I believe a wedding isn’t just for you, but also your friends and family. I’m just lucky that I have great friends who wanted to participate in my special day, and yet bowed out graciously when that wasn’t possible.” Not for Tots“We want a child-free wedding, but several of our guests are resisting.”When Martha Gold*, a New York City public relations executive, marries her fiancé, George*, in May 2004, no children under the age of 12 will be in attendance. “We both have huge families, and if we invited the little ones we’d be up to 450 guests,” she says. “While we love children, we also want a sophisticated affair just for grown-ups, without a lot of young ones around.” Yet, when the couple informed some of their relatives of this decision, they were amazed at the reactions. “Some of my relatives assumed that only other people’s kids wouldn’t be invited!” says Martha. “My cousin said, ‘Oh, everybody will understand you...

Planning Your Wedding In Three Months Or Less

Tue, 17 Aug 2004 12:00:00 AM

Perhaps your fiancé is in the military and is being shipped out in 12 weeks, or you just got a great job offer in another city and won't have time to plan a wedding while you're working. Whatever your reason for speedy nuptials, it is possible to throw a gorgeous shindig and still beat the clock. Here's how to stage your dream wedding faster than you can say "I do." Carve out extra time for planning.Countdown CalendarThe clock’s ticking! Here’s a week-by-week guide to getting it all done.Week 12: Set a date and a few alternatives; establish a budget; get ideas and referrals for your site, food, honeymoon and soon from bridal magazines and friends; set up appointments with potential vendors and ceremony and reception sites for the next twoweeks; shop for a gown.Week 11: Book your ceremony and reception venues and as many pros as you can; ask people to be in your bridal party; order invitations and rings; block out hotel rooms for out-of-town guests; book your honeymoon trip.Week 10: Hire any remaining vendors; buy dress and accessories; book appointments for a manicure and pedicure for the day before the wedding and a hair and makeup stylist for the big day; get blood tests, if required (talk to your officiant).Week 9: Send invitations; find bridesmaid dresses; send your fiancé to get tuxes for himself and his groomsmen.Week 8: Register for gifts.Week 7: Meet with the officiant to plan the ceremony.Week 6: Meet with the caterer to taste foods and plan the menu; book limos.Week 5: Create a music list for your bandleader; get your marriage license.Week 4: Have a dress fitting (you’ll have to follow the store’s schedule); make sure you have your accessories.Week 3: Pick up rings. Week 2: Contact guests who haven’t responded to your invite; make reception seating arrangements.Week 1: Pick up dress; confirm wedding services; give caterer final headcount; pack for the honeymoon. Got vacation days at work? Take one or two off in the months before the wedding so you can tackle tasks that require a lot of time, like finding a dress and caterer. And if possible, scale back on some commitments that aren't related to the wedding, like extra work projects or social engagements. Your friends will understand. Get organized.Make sorting out your wedding details a high priority, because it can give you a sense of control and make you feel less overwhelmed. Create file folders for each wedding element, like flowers, food, bridesmaid dresses, the cake and so on, in which you can store tear sheets from magazines, brochures and catalogues (as soon as you decide what you want, you should toss what you no longer need). Next, compile a master contact information list—preferably on your computer (keep a hard copy in case of an emergency)—so you never have to search for anything. Use e-mail as often as possible to communicate with vendors, bridesmaids and others who are helping you, then print out copies of these exchanges for your records. Marshall your resources. Ask friends and family to pitch in. Married friends can give vendor and venue recommendations; your fiancé can research bands and help you plan the bar menu; Mom and Sis can divvy up tasks like cold-calling photographers, videographers, limousine companies and others to check availability for your date, prices and so on. "My mother saved me a lot of time by addressing all of my invitations," says Kim Cuozzo, of Jackson, New Jersey, who became engaged in September 2002 and was married that December. "I also allowed my four bridesmaids to pick out the style of dress they wanted to wear and choose their own shoes." If you're feeling really overwhelmed, consider hiring a professional wedding coordinator (especially if you want to host a large affair) who'll do all the legwork for you. A good pro will have experience planning an event on short notice and will be able to handle all the details efficiently. Book your venues first. Your biggest challenge: Getting the ceremony and reception locations you want for the date and time you desire. That's because popular wedding spots can book up more than a year in advance, explains Erwin. "So, of course, you'll have to be flexible," she adds. "Since Saturday is the most popular day of the week to get married, consider holding your wedding on a Friday or Sunday, or even a weekday, to get a better choice of venues." Planning a church ceremony? Talk to your minister or priest right away to find out what slots are available. If you can hold both the ceremony and reception in the same place, do it. This way, you won't have to worry about coordinating the date with two locations. Book the other major players.As soon as the date and venue are confirmed, you can line up the other services you'll need, like a caterer (if the service isn't provided by the banquet hall), florist, band or DJ, photographer, videographer and limousine service. You may not be able to get your first choice on every count because of the short notice, and you'll just have to accept that. But if you decide which element is most important to you—say, hiring a first-rate photographer and videographer—you can plan to invest more time on that particular effort, upping the chances of a payoff.

Your Complete Wedding Dictionary

Sat, 01 Jan 2000 12:00:00 AM

As you meet with vendors you will quickly realize there's a whole slew of wedding-specific terms you'll need to be familiar with in order to get exactly what you want. It pays to know the vocabulary. Master this list so that you can deal with the pros in their language. Cake ButtercreamThe most common type of icing. It's soft, creamy and sweet, and made of butter, sugar and milk. Your baker can use it to cover the outside of your cake and/or as a filling in between the layers. FondantIcing made of sugar, gelatin, corn syrup and glycerin that has a firm yet tender texture and a smooth, porcelain-like finish. It's more expensive than buttercream because decorating with it is more complicated and labor-intensive.Royal icingA hard, brittle and not-very-tasty type of icing made of sugar and egg whites. It's used mostly for sculptural decorations, like roses, swirls and dots. Catering CanapéAny bite-size appetizer served on a small round of bread, cracker or vegetable (e.g., blinis with crème fraiche and caviar). Corkage feeMany caterers charge a fee per bottle of alcohol just to open it during your reception. The charge applies only if you have provided the alcohol yourselves instead of getting it through your caterer. The price ranges from $5 to $10 per bottle.CruditésAn appetizer of raw vegetables (like carrots, celery, cucumbers and peppers), sliced up and served with dip.Ceremony Music PreludeQuiet, gentle "background" music played at the beginning of the ceremony, as guests arrive and are seated. ProcessionalStately music played as the bridal party walks down the aisle, with the bride and her escort at the very end (e.g., Pachelbel's famous "Canon in D"). Often the bride's walk is accompanied by a different tune (e.g., Wagner's "Bridal Chorus"). RecessionalUpbeat, triumphant music played at the end of the service, as the bride and groom make their way back up the aisle and exit the ceremony. Mendelssohn's "Wedding March," from A Midsummer Night's Dream, is the most popular option. Fashion BlusherA short, thin layer of veiling worn over the face; it's flipped back once the bride reaches the altar. FingertipThe length of this veil extends to the fingertips when a bride holds her arms straight at her sides. FlyawayA veil with multiple tiers, the longest of which is shoulder-length.Basque waistA continuation of the bodice that dips below the natural waist in front, ending in a point or rounded detail. Buying off-the-rackA term that refers to purchasing the actual wedding dress you try on in the store (rather than custom-ordering your exact size from a sample). Doing so can often save you up to 50 percent of the price. Morning suitAppropriate for daytime weddings, this formalwear option consists of a cutaway jacket (or morning coat) that's worn with a wing-collar shirt, matching pin-striped trousers and an ascot. Registry Open stockA term that applies to the sale of china and cookware, meaning that guests can purchase components of a set or pattern individually (as opposed to having to buy the entire ensemble at once). Place settingMost china patterns are available in a five-piece place setting that includes a dinner plate, a salad/dessert plate, a bread-and-butter plate (some casual patterns may include a soup/cereal bowl instead) and a cup and saucer. Completer SetItems that are not included in a basic china place setting but coordinate with the pattern—platters, serving dishes, salt and pepper shakers, and so on. Traditions Jack & JillA shower for the bride and groom to which both male and female guests are invited. A coed shower can be a cocktail party at a nightclub or restaurant or a more casual picnic or barbecue.TrousseauAn old-fashioned term for the new linens, lingerie and clothing a bride assembles in honor of her upcoming nuptials.Flowers CascadeA bouquet style in which the blossoms are woven into a waterfall effect; when held, it flows down below your waist. FillerInexpensive flowers and foliage (ivy, baby's breath or ferns, for example) that are often used to fill out bouquets and other floral arrangements.PomanderA round "ball" of flowers suspended from a ribbon handle. Use it as a bouquet or have your flower girl carry one, in lieu of a basketful of petals.Tussy mussyA cone-shaped, metallic bouquet holder popular during the Victorian era. It's rarely used today, but is perfect for an elegant, "vintage" wedding. Invitations EngravingA traditional, formal printing style, distinguished by slightly "raised" lettering and indentations that can be felt on the back of the invitation. It's a labor-intensive, and therefore expensive, process. ThermographA machine-printing process that uses heated powder to give print a raised look. To the untrained eye, it appears virtually identical to engraved print but costs far less. VellumA thin, transparent type of paper that looks somewhat like frosted glass. Your stationer can print text on it directly or use it as a decorative overlay. Photography ProofsAll the shots your photographer has taken during your wedding (untouched and uncropped). You'll likely review these to decide which photos you want printed in a larger size and at the best possible quality. SepiaAn optional special effect that can give your photos an antique look—it's similar to black and white, only the pigment used is a reddish brown. ReceptionEscort (or Table) cards These direct guests to their designated tables. They're usually placed on a large table near the entrance to the reception room, and guests pick them up as they go into the party.Place cardsThese can be used at very formal weddings to designate each person's specific seat at a particular table. Sweetheart tableA small, romantic, two-person table for the bride and groom.DaisA raised platform for the head table.

101 Ways to Personalize Your Wedding Day

Sat, 01 Jan 2000 12:00:00 AM

Creative "I Dos"1. Ceremony seating can tie in with your wedding theme, so consider hay bales for a country wedding or satinccushions for the floor of that urban loft, says Sasha Souza of San Francisco's Sasha Souza Events. 2. Worried that the littlest flower girl won't make it down the aisle on her own? Have a junior bridesmaid pull her in a classic red Radio Flyer wagon. 3. Have someone who is near and dear to you do a reading—perhaps a special love poem—or sing an aria from a favorite opera. 4. Lollipops in candy colors, clusters of berries, autumn leaves—get bold with your boutonnieres. 5. If you don't like the idea of getting birdseed or rice in your hair, give guests sparklers, pinwheels or mini-flags for the big send-off. 6. Pre-ceremony, don't offer food or booze; keep it low-key with glasses of ginger lemonade, says Peter Callahan of Callahan Catering, with locations in New York City and Philadelphia. 7. Hot summer ceremony? Have your wedding programs printed on paper fans. 8. Beach brides: Bury vases in the sand so it looks as if your flowers are growing there, says Michael George of Michael George Flowers in New York City. 9. Will guests be tossing petals post-ceremony? Hang cones or little galvanized metal buckets filled with these pretty items on the backs of ceremony chairs—they'll double as pew décor. 10. Dress doors and entrances with flower garlands and fabric swags. Souza once used a pair of 200-year-old doors as a backdrop for a beach wedding.11. Your aisle runner is an opportunity to amaze. For a beach wedding, George sprinkled smooth-edged sea glass along the sand so that the whole aisle twinkled. 12. Use a length of linen fabric in one of your wedding colors for an aisle runner. (Hint: It's easy on the budget!). 13. For romantic atmosphere, project slow-moving images—think flowing water or clouds—onto a sleek fabric chuppah or a wedding arch, suggests George. 14. Use a silver tray carpeted with moss for the ring-bearer's pillow. 15. A tip for ensuring that all eyes really are on you: Go for all-white flowers, such as delicate lily of the valley, in your bouquet. 16. If you prefer fairy-tale flowers, ask your florist to arrange individual petals into the shape of a sumptuous rose of any diameter. 17. "Don't be afraid to be creative with your ceremony music," says Souza, who's arranged "I dos" to everything from a single flamenco guitarist to a full jazz band. 18. Reserve ceremony seating for your most important guests by placing name cards on their chairs. If you want to give these guests extra-special treatment, write a personal note on each card.A Spirited Cocktail Hour19. Make the bar spectacular, says Souza. How about having one carved from solid ice, with bright poppies frozen inside for a dash of vibrant color? 20. Want to decorate with ice but are working on a budget? Have your caterer embellish your drinks with ice cubes that have edible flower petals frozen inside. 21. Let the season guide your choice of drinks: Callahan suggests spiked pink lemonade for spring, mint or lime punch for summer, caramel-apple fizzes for fall and martinis—extra olives, please—in the winter. 22. You can create your signature drink based on color. If you're having a wedding with a peachy palette, try bellinis; if you've gone for something blue, offer a cocktail spiked with curaçao. 23. A superpopular, tiny treat guaranteed to tempt guests? Mini-hamburgers, complete with bite-size buns and tomato jam, a tasty condiment made with tomatoes, sugar and lemons. 24. Glamorous versions of comfort-food classics—lobster corndogs or truffled popcorn—are hits, says Souza. 25. Matchstick-size slivers of sugarcane make delicious skewers for grilled scallops or fruit kabobs. 26. Want to be really over-the-top? Conjure up some 1940s glamour with a fountain that gushes champagne, says Callahan. 27. For pretty swizzle sticks, consider edible flowers on long stems. 28. Want to spread the good luck? Spicy wontons, with fortunes tucked inside the crispy wrappers, should do the trick. 29. Signature drinks are sexier if they're shaken and stirred right on the spot. Have your bartender whisk up Sgroppinos (sorbet, champagne and limoncello) in elegant copper bowls set into blocks of ice. 30. Serve small sips of colorful exotic drinks—think tropical fruit made into a slurry with a splash of liquor—in votive candle holders, Souza suggests. 31. Tantalize guests with tiny shots of tasty, chilled soup in edible "bowls" such as baked-potato skins or even small, hollowed-out tomatoes. 32. Your trays should be as appetizing as the treats they offer, Callahan says. Try clear acrylic trays with insets of decorative, large-grained sea salt or halved figs. 33. Serve hors d'oeuvres with a healthy helping of style; for example, try a pretty bamboo basket piled high with dumplings or shrimp skewers poking up from wheatgrass flats, Souza suggests. 34. For an update on the classic raw bar, have the wait staff shuck oysters as guests watch. Callahan likes to display seafood in antique wooden crates or small rowboats.35. Pinot noir, chardonnay or sangiovese, anyone? Host a cocktail-hour wine-tasting, conducted by the bartender. 36. Your signature drinks stand out when bartenders rim guests' glasses with salt or sugar in your wedding colors. 37. Don't send your hors d'oeuvres out naked! Try pretty garnishes of flowering herbs such as basil, mint and thyme. 38. Give guests a quick taste of family history—serve bite-sized versions of favorite recipes, Souza suggests. 39. For a whimsical look, line your buffet tables with wheatgrass and then put up mini white picket fencing. 40. Caviar and crackers arranged on large flat trays, crab cakes piled on cake stands—give buffets visual interest by varying presentation height. 41. "Each cocktail station should have a unique size and shape," advises Souza, who, these days, favors interesting serpentine and triangular tables. 42. Chilled, flavorful summer soups look and taste refreshing when served from giant bowls carved out of ice. A Ravishing Reception43. Make your entrance grand—line the path to your ballroom with rows and rows of glowing candles. 44. Having a garden wedding under the trees? Surprise your guests by hanging chandeliers lit by candles from sturdy branches. 45. For a picture-perfect memory, place your guest book on a table beside a rented photo booth. Guests can paste their snapshot in your book along with their good wishes for your future. 46. Ask your videographer to set up a stationary camera and let guests record messages: It's a video guest book! 47. Hire conga players for the cocktail hour, then kick up the energy with a full dance band later on. Just remember: For dinner music, turn down the decibels and try soft jazz, says Souza. 48. "The puppy has to have flowers!" laughs George. He designs fluffy floral collars for all canine attendees. 49. Play princess for the day: Just for fun, fly jaunty flags in your wedding colors from the tops of tent poles.50. Tie escort cards to tree branches. 51. If you want a traditional escort-card table, update it by covering it with pebbles painted in your wedding colors, with a bed of moss or with lots of fluffy carnations.52. Always look for ways...

3 Simple Wedding Plans from Real Couples

Sat, 01 Jan 2000 12:00:00 AM

A Backyard BashThe couple: Erika Wood, a civil-rights lawyer, and Clayton Harding, the president and owner of a test-preparation company Where and when: Erika's parents' home in Hope Valley, Rhode Island, on July 2, 2000 Why they chose an at-home wedding: "As soon as Clay and I got engaged we both knew we wanted the wedding to be at my parents' 18th-century farmhouse, where I grew up and Clay and I have spent a lot of long weekends," says Erika, who lives with her husband in Brooklyn, New York . "My mom is an amazing gardener, and the grounds are beautiful. It's peaceful, happy and comfortable—all things we wanted our wedding to be."Their first step: "Planning an outdoor wedding is a huge undertaking, since you have to bring in everything from tents to tables, chairs, plates and silverware, even a dance floor and kitchen equipment. Fortunately, we found an excellent caterer in the area, Guy Abelson, of Guy Abelson Caterers in Providence, Rhode Island , who not only helped us establish a food-and-drink menu but arranged for all those rentals, too." Their toughest challenge: "Parking was our biggest headache, because there was no place to put all the cars. My dad came up with the brilliant idea of asking guests to leave their cars at a nearby park-and-ride, then having shuttles transport everyone to the house and back. For this, our caterer helped us rent trolleys that are used for tours around Newport . The restroom issue was another big concern: My parents' well and septic system could not have handled the strain, plus they understandably didn't want 200 people traipsing through the house. So again, our amazing caterer helped us rent port-a-johns with mirrors and sinks, and we had the florist provide nice bouquets for them."Glitches: "On our wedding day, the trolleys got stuck in Fourth of July weekend traffic and were 45 minutes late. Other than that, it all went perfectly. I was sure we'd be hit with a thunderstorm—our contingency plan was to hold the ceremony under the reception tent instead of in the front yard—but we lucked out with beautiful weather." Any regrets? "None. Having our wedding at home made our event feel wonderfully intimate, like a really big dinner party. Total strangers became friends: We have pictures of my parents' older friends from New England dancing and laughing with Clayton's young cousins from South Carolina ." Best advice: "Consider your guests' comfort, especially if they'll be outside in the sun and heat. Before the ceremony, we gave out folding fans made of paper (they were also our favors), and the caterer served lemonade and sparkling water. We had also told guests they didn't have to wear jackets and ties or high heels if they didn't want to."Keys to a Perfect At-Home Wedding1. Mind the costs. Many couples believe an at-home wedding will be less expensive than the catering-hall alternative, but that may not be true. Remember, you’ll have to rent just about everything from chairs to champagne flutes—all the stuff that a facility that regularly hosts weddings would already have.2. Prepare the home. If you’ll be using an outdoor space, be sure the landscaping looks pretty. Survey the area to figure out where a tent will go best (a flat space is ideal) and where the port-a-johns will be situated (out of the way, but easily accessible). Will the wedding be inside the house? You may need to have furniture moved out and stored temporarily to make room. Finally, if the wedding’s not in your own home, pay to have the house or yard professionally cleaned after the party (and maybe before, too).3. Be considerate of the neighbors. Most nearby residents, if forewarned, will be tolerant of noise—after all, it’s a wedding, not a teenage blowout. Consider using a valet service to make sure cars don’t block neighbors’ driveways, and plan to end the party by whatever time complies with local ordinances (check with town hall). A Splendid ‘Wedding Weekend'The couple: Rebecca Schuller and Josh Wilsusen, both lawyers Where and when: the towns of Aspen and Snowmass (they're approximately 10 miles apart), in Colorado , on June 28, 2003 Why they had a ‘wedding weekend': "Many of our guests would have had to travel no matter where we got married, so we thought a long-weekend format made sense because people could see it as a mini-vacation," says Rebecca. "We considered other locations, such as Columbus, Ohio , where I grew up, and Washington, D.C. , where Josh and I live. But the Colorado Rockies, where my family and I have vacationed since I was a kid, is like a second home to me. Plus, the scenery's beautiful and there's plenty to do there." Their first step: "My parents, who spend a lot of time in Colorado, scouted possible ceremony and reception venues and found one that stood out: the Elk Mountain Lodge, in Aspen. We could have our reception outside, overlooking the mountains, and hold the reception in a beautiful banquet room. My mom also found a local wedding planner, who suggested possible florists, musicians and other vendors we could use. Josh and I joined my parents in Colorado several months before the wedding, and we spent a few days during that trip meeting with those pros and making our selections." The weekend itinerary: "Our wedding was held on Saturday, June 28, and most guests arranged to arrive the Thursday before and leave the day after the event. They stayed in a variety of hotels in the area, and we hired buses to take them to and from all of the activities we planned. For instance, we held a picnic on Snowmass Mountain on Thursday night and various events on Friday, like a hike or gondola ride up Aspen Mountain . We also organized a golf tournament for our guests on the day of the wedding, and a brunch the morning after at a hotel where some guests were staying. Well before the wedding, we had sent everyone packets of information about the Aspen area, from restaurants and hair salons to adventure-tour companies, so some folks arranged activities on their own, as well."Their toughest challenge: "Because Josh and I live so far from Colorado , it felt like we were making a lot of decisions largely on faith. For instance, while our wedding planner sent fabric swatches for the tablecloths, it was hard picturing what the one we picked would actually look like on our wedding day. But we reminded ourselves that the weekend would be great, no matter what." Glitches: "We had hired a local minister and worked with him to plan a unique and personalized ceremony, but he got sick the week before the wedding and had to bow out. So, at the last minute, we had to scramble to get a new officiant, one who'd agree to work with out-of-towners on short notice. Luckily, our wedding planner was able to find someone to fill in, and we were pleased with him." Best advice: "If possible, choose a wedding location you know well, or at least have visited several times. It's much easier to plan from afar when you can visualize the places where you'll be holding all your events. Plus, it just means so much more to get married in a place you love!"Tips for Planning a ‘Wedding Weekend' 1. Consider hiring a local wedding coordinator. A good pro will know reliable vendors in the area to whom you might not otherwise have access. 2. Make at least one trip to your locale well before the wedding. Use the time to scout locations for the ceremony and reception and to interview potential pros (it's a good idea to meet your experts in person, even if you've hired a planner). You should also draw up a list of activities you'd like to offer.3. Plan ahead for your guests. As soon as you pick a wedding date and location, send out save-the-date cards, along with information about local hotels. This will be helpful to guests who need to arrange...

75 Ways to Make Your Wedding Unique

Sat, 01 Jan 2000 12:00:00 AM

Location, Location, Location1. As the setting for her summer wedding to Shawn Krause, Fiona Sarn picked the tiny boarding school she'd attended in Arizona. Guests at the weekend event had the run of the hiking trails and school pool, and party-goers on a budget could stay in the dorms for free!2. Sometimes your favorite hobby inspires the perfect location. Champion skiers Brooke Coleman and Patrick Connors held their wedding in her mother's garden, with a view of the Park City, Utah, ski slopes.3. Julie Hormaechea, who works in the arts, and Jeff Jewhurst, who works for the National Park Service, tied the knot at the Headlands Center for the Arts in Sausalito, CA. "Getting married in an arts center on Park Service land—it couldn't have been a more perfect union!" says the bride.4. When wedding coordinator Kate Badger married Barrett Little in Charleston, South Carolina, she set the scene for romance by holding the event on the grounds of the plantation where Barrett had proposed. 5. Melissa Barrett wanted her wedding to stay true to her Vermont roots. She and her groom, Dave Phillips, were married in a field of wildflowers beneath the scenic Green Mountains, and danced the night away with guests in a rustic red barn. The Countdown6. "Both of you should get a massage on the morning of the wedding," recommends Santa Fe bride Sirie Palmos, who scheduled his-and-hers appointments. As soon as the massages were over, she dashed off to have her makeup done with her bridesmaids.7. Catrien van Assendelft and her groom, John Griffiths, organized a prewedding morning at the local lake, with swimming and sunbathing. Guests got to cheer on Catrien's brothers in a kayaking race.8. Groom (and triathlete) Sebastian Ziesler spent the morning of his wedding day with his groomsmen on a strenuous 20-mile bike ride in the hills of Northern California.Ceremony Savvy9. "I know it sounds cheesy," says Sirie, "but my favorite wedding tip came from my fiancé, Chuck, right before the ceremony. He turned to me and said, ‘Honey, let's take the time to enjoy the ceremony, and appreciate the actual moment when we're becoming husband and wife.' It's so important to do."10. For Sebastian and his bride, Alexandra Salomon, meaningful vows were key. They recommend finding an officiant you like and trust. They had no problem deciding who was the right person to marry them—the officiant at their Northern California wedding had known the bride all her life.11. Netherlands-born Catrien wanted to make sure that her and John's ceremony was inclusive. So she arranged for two guests to read a passage from the Bible at the wedding—the first reader recited the verses in English, the second followed, in Dutch.12. Lona Smith and her fiancé, Zachary Schiffman, invited one extra-special guest to their wedding: their dog, Bailey, who wore a purple collar with a rhinestone bow tie. 13. When Iranian bride Ellie Kheirkhahi married Steven Love, the couple created a Persian altar for the ceremony, complete with jeweled eggs to represent fertility and a mirror symbolizing their bright future.14. Sometimes the location is all the décor you'll need. Kate and Barrett tied the knot under the spreading boughs of an ancient oak tree. The only decoration was a curtain of fluttering streamers embellished with orchids, which hung from the branch beneath which the couple exchanged vows.15. New Yorkers Margaret Gould and Adam Korn wanted a small gathering of intimate family and friends for the exchange of vows, and a splashy reception. The solution? A civil ceremony in the morning, at which friends and family spoke personally about the couple, followed by a big bash in a Greenwich Village townhouse.16. Julie's matron of honor hand-sewed the pillow for the rings—complete with two tiny birds perched on top, to honor the nature-loving couple. 17. "I did not want a typical bouquet!" says Lona, who carried a clutch of flowers cuffed with snowy-white feathers.18. Three isn't always a crowd. Sirie chose to walk down the aisle between her father and her stepfather. "They're both important to me, and they both felt included," she says.19. Lona is Catholic and Zack is Jewish, and they wanted their ceremony to combine aspects of both faiths. So a rabbi married them, and Lona had her friends read Catholic prayers.20. If "Here Comes the Bride" doesn't suit your style, substitute your favorite song instead. Kate hired a cellist and a guitarist, and made a dramatic aisle appearance to "The Rose," by Bette Midler.21. Make a fashion statement: Kate, whose wedding color was apple green, wore festive kelly-green Kate Spade shoes—complete with decorative pom-poms—for her walk down the aisle. "Those green shoes were definitely a big thing for me, and the crowd noticed too!"22. Melissa's three brothers were her "bridesmaids," and her fiancé, Dave, had his sister stand up as "best man."23. Honor your friends: Melissa didn't want her close pals to feel slighted by her decision to have only her brothers in her wedding party, so she gave each friend a corsage in the wedding colors.24. Don't want that hail of rice or birdseed? Catrien and John's guests rang tiny silver bells. 25. Steal some precious moments together. After the ceremony, Alexandra and Sebastian sneaked away for a few minutes before the reception—a chance for the couple to reflect on the vows they'd just taken.Dish It Up!26. Fiona's caterer created a one-of-a-kind dinner buffet that included recipes taken from the bride's family cookbook. Next to each dish, Fiona placed a card bearing the name of the recipe and the name of the relative it came from. 27. To complement her vivid apple-green color scheme, Kate served sour apple martinis at the cocktail hour. 28. Julie advises getting imaginative with your drinks: She named each cocktail after her and her husband's favorite hiking trails, hobbies and vacation destinations. Raise a glass to creative drinking!29. Melissa, who has a serious sweet tooth, took a playful tack by serving cinnamon buns instead of bread rolls at her reception dinner.30. Your favorite restaurant just might turn out to be the perfect caterer—the sushi for Kate's Asian station came from the special place where she and Barrett celebrate Valentine's Day every year.31. Spotlight your passions: John, a wine-enthusiast, picked vintages from his personal wine cellar to serve at his and Catrien's intimate country wedding.32. Catrien indulged her gourmet groom's taste for artisanal cheeses—she arranged for an after-dinner cheese course of delicacies from France and Italy.33. Want to encourage table talk? Take a tip from Alexandra and Sebastian, and serve food family-style, so guests have to pass it around—it never fails to be an instant conversation starter.34. Sirie wanted her and Chuck's party to rock the city of Santa Fe—so she had her caterer pass trays of tequila shots. 35. Kate and her husband love flavored coffee drinks, so at the end of the night, they surprised guests with a lavish coffee bar complete with yummy liqueurs and chocolate shavings to top everything off.Style Sense36. Don't be afraid to be colorful! Guests of Melissa and Dave's received hot pink invites in orange envelopes.37. "My invitations took more work than anything else!" exclaims Lona, who sent hers in boxes lined with purple fabric and filled with white seashells.38. For an ultraromantic reception Ellie and Steven decorated the garden of their house with cherry blossom boughs, and achieved a glow with hundreds of candles in hanging lanterns.39. Put those artistic friends to work! Fiona asked her sister to hand-paint parking signs in her orange and turquoise wedding colors.40. Julie...

Roadmap to the Big Day

Sat, 01 Jan 2000 12:00:00 AM

First Things FirstMake the announcement. Some couples don't feel "right" if anyone knows their big news before parents and other close family. If possible, tell the folks in person. If your parents don't live nearby, put in a special phone call. Delve into dreams. Sit down with your fiancé—preferably over a candlelit dinner—and let the ideas, dreams, schemes and pie-in-the-sky plans fly. Think about the style you'd like, whether it's a beach bash, a sit-down dinner in a ballroom or a ceremony on a mountaintop. No talk of money. Yet.Talk money. Oops, sorry. Dreamtime over (for now). It's rare these days that the bride's parents pick up the whole bill, so decide now on your bottom line. Find out from both sets of parents if or how much they can contribute. Rough out the timing. While you don't have to set a firm date now, it's smart to at least have an idea of what month or season you want to marry in. That'll give you a sense of how long you have to get things organized. Because your wedding's size determines where you'll hold the party, how much it will cost (prices usually rise by guest) and whether travel will be involved, creating a guest list is one of the first and most important things to do. So make your list; your fiancé and both families should do the same. You can, and likely will, cut later, but this first number will be your base. Tame That Guest ListWhen you pay a caterer by the head, every guest is a ka-ching on the total bill—not just for the food and drink, but also for tips and taxes, which rise accordingly. Here are some ways to keep the list under control: Don't invite the whole office—either just ask your boss and your closest friends at work or no one at all. Don't dig into your old address book for blasts from the past; stick to those people you see regularly. Rein in parents. They can invite their friends, but they don't have to ask the garden club and the tennis buddies and the old neighbors from two houses ago. Set Your SitesCeremony who and where. Finding an officiant and a ceremony site can be simple—if, say, you wish to marry in your hometown house of worship. Even if you're no longer living in the area, you may have family who still are and can help out. Sometimes for the sake of convenience, couples choose a place that's in between their homes and their parents'. And then there's the destination wedding; just make sure that everyone you really want to come is able to make it. The reception site. Think again about those wedding dreams you two discussed, and see how they mesh with reality. Perhaps you imagine a party at an outdoor garden. Fair enough, but what if you can't find just the right place or the weather is an issue? Maybe there's a quaint hotel with a pretty courtyard that would suit. Use local resources to narrow down options: a wedding planner, a recently married friend and ads in the local paper. Check wedding websites and bridal magazines.Then start scheduling visits.Know Your ProsHow to hire the best? Here’s what you need to know. Photographer and videographer. Don’t wait till the last minute to find a photographer and/or videographer; the good ones usually book weddings many months in advance. Start with recommendations from friends, then research what kind of shots you’d like to see—formal portraits and dancing shots or a candid, journalistic format. Always ask to see other wedding albums the pro has done.Musicians. Arrange to hear musicians perform before you sign them on. Make sure they agree to stick to the playlist you give them. Find out how they will dress and how many breaks they will take. Hiring a DJ is less expensive than a live band, and these days some couples are cutting costs by programming their iPods with their favorite tunes. Flowers and décor. Once you have your reception site booked, you can decide on table arrangements and other decorations. A hotel ballroom might be a relatively blank slate, whereas an art museum may need little more than simple centerpieces. A profusion of blooms looks lush and lovely, but you can get the same effect with fewer flowers than you think. If there’s a local farm where you can buy fresh stems, you’ll save tons over hiring a florist. The hitch: You (or someone you know) must put together bouquets and centerpieces. Or ask your florist to suggest only in-season local blooms, and have her use greenery cleverly in arrangements that make fewer flowers look like a lot more.Caterer. You want to know how the dishes will taste and look and how flexible the caterer is with menus and prices. Don’t be afraid to bargain; for example, cut down on costs by limiting the number and kind of hors d’oeuvres served at cocktail hour.Quick Tip: Not sure what kind of album you want? Look for photographers with a looser style and many package choices. Your best bet may be to hire someone who will simply sell you all the photos, plus negatives. Later, you can get creative and make your own album or have one made. No rush.Maiden VoyageWhen choosing your attendants, follow these tips:Explain to prospective bridesmaids what the job requires, like planning the shower and paying for their attire.Tell each ’maid that you will need her to commit the necessary time and energy and if she can’t, it’s fine for her to decline. Choose as many or as few bridesmaids as you want.Give your closest friend or relative the maid of honor position.Include a female relative of your groom in your bevy of bridesmaids; it’s a diplomatic move that can only strengthen family relations.Attire AdviceIt’s not strictly necessary to know wedding place and time details before you shop. Whereas fashion guidelines were more rigid in the past (not wearing a glittery sheath for a daytime wedding, for example), the rules are looser now. But check with your house of worship; some require covered shoulders or heads. Start shopping whenever you feel pumped—and don’t forget to send your groom to rent formalwear for himself and his groomsmen.On the MoneyPieces of the PieNo matter what your wedding budget may be, here’s a rough idea of how much is typically spent in each category. Keep in mind that the numbers are not hard and fast. Some couples may, for example, choose to spend more on photography and less on flowers. It’s up to you!Reception: 40%Engagement rings and wedding bands: 6%Photography and videography: 10.5%Invitations: 2%Wedding attire: 7%Flowers: 5%Music: 5%Miscellaneous: 10%Honeymoon: 14.5% Wedding budgets have a way of expanding like a balloon. Keep yours from popping (and give yourself some wiggle room for those unexpected expenses or must-haves) by reining in spending. Here, six smart saving tips: 1. Borrow. Did you totally love the tiara your sister wore? Borrow it for your ensemble! You can borrow jewelry (just like the stars do at Oscar time) and other accessories, honeymoon luggage (no reason to splurge on new suitcases if your parents have good stuff), vases for centerpieces (if you’re doing these yourself) and so on.2. Use people’s DIY skills. If your aunt is a sewing whiz, she can create a veil or even do alterations on your dress. A skilled artist can create wonderful personalized invitations. A crafty pal can come up with a fun favor. An avid scrapbooker can put together an album for you. Just tell them this is their gift to you.3. Create a signature drink. If you’re tempted to save by having a cash bar, stop! Instead, cut down on liquor costs by offering one signature drink (like pitchers of a gourmet martini) along with beer, soda and juices. Another idea: Buy cases of a local wine and serve just that.4. Limit the limos. It’s nice to pull up to the ceremony location in a sleek limo or classic car, but consider skipping the rides elsewhere to save money. Instead have your brother or a cousin act as chauffeur...

A Long-Distance Wedding Affair

Sat, 01 Jan 2000 12:00:00 AM

This is what Sara Dadyar and her fiancé, Tim Quinn, of Norwalk, Connecticut, did before their wedding in Bedford, New Hampshire. "In one day, Tim and I had our food-tasting at the inn where we were having our reception, the cake-tasting at another location, and then my run-through with the hair- stylist," remembers Sara. "It was exhausting, but we only had a short time in which to get everything done."Another tip: Bring along a camera and take pictures of your favorite sites, floral arrangements and so on. You think you'll remember everything you see, but no one's memory is that good. If you have a digital camera, you can upload those pictures onto a web site like ofoto or snapfish.com so your friends and family can weigh in. Enlist local help.If you're marrying in your hometown, don't think twice about delegating wedding tasks to family members and friends in the area who are willing to pitch in. "Tim's mom, who lives in New Hampshire, was a huge help," says Sara. "She measured the ballroom so I could figure out set-up options, ran the bridesmaids' dress swatch to the florist so she could color-coordinate our bouquets, and even picked up a marriage application for us." Plus, these folks likely know great locations for your party and probably have contacts for reliable vendors. Another thought: If it's within your budget, consider hiring a local wedding coordinator. Not only will you be spared a lot of long-distance legwork, but this also might be the best way to ensure you get quality venues and vendors. And because it's the planner's job to take care of details like sending you fabric swatches for tablecloths, photographs of centerpiece concepts and tableware, reception menus and so on, you won't feel guilty asking or reminding her to do so. Arrive early.Plan to be at your wedding location three days before the big event—at least. This way, you'll have time to attend to any last-minute details (like confirming with the florist that your flowers will arrive on time and making any final adjustments to the seating arrangements) without feeling frazzled. And most important, use the downtime to switch into a slower gear so you'll feel relaxed and ready for the big day ahead. Go surfing."The Internet is the best resource for planning a wedding from afar," says wedding planner Karen Erwin of St. Augustine Weddings and Special Events, in St. Augustine, Florida. You can listen to bands, take virtual "tours" of reception facilities and peruse photographers' portfolios—all from your comfy desk chair. How to wade through the millions of online sites out there? You've got to narrow down your search zone. "Start by going to the sites for the chamber of commerce and visitor and convention bureau in the area in which you wish to marry," suggests Erwin. "You'll find a wealth of information on reception venues, houses of worship and accommodations for you and your guests." Next, scout photographers, caterers, bakers and other vendors using a search engine like Google or Yahoo. Of course, the challenge here is to keep your search narrow so you're not wading through hundreds, or even thousands, of web sites, yet big enough that you have an adequate number of choices. Try typing in succinct phrases such as "St. Louis florist" or "Dallas wedding photographer." Spend a few hours narrowing down each list to two or three strong possibilities in each category. Which leads us to our next tip… Schedule a visit.Once you've done your homework on the web and found possible ceremony and reception venues, caterers, florists and so on, you'll need to visit the location in person as soon as possible. Can't spare a lot of time away? Even a whirlwind tour will do. This allows you to evaluate products and services you saw online, and meet potential vendors and ensure that you share the same vision. You'll also be able to do things like taste menu selections and cakes, which can't be done from afar. Make the most of your visit by booking multiple appointments each day. (Smart tip: Find your way to unfamiliar places with directions from mapquest.com or Yahoo! Maps and avoid wasting precious time getting lost.) Schedule meetings two to three hours apart (and don't forget to block out time for lunch—you need energy to keep up that busy pace).

Personalize Your Wedding

Sat, 01 Jan 2000 12:00:00 AM

Some wedding elements and traditions will never go out of fashion, like the cake cutting and the champagne toast. But if you're like most brides and grooms today, you probably want to go beyond those standard details and put a more personal stamp on your big day. For instance, you may decide to ride to the reception in a sexy red convertible or serve a "signature" drink—perhaps the one the two of you sipped the night you became engaged—during your cocktail hour. What will you do to make your party stand out from all those cookie-cutter events you've been to? Read on for ideas. Pre-Wedding Touches 1. Invitations set the tone of a wedding, so this is your first opportunity to show guests they're in for a stylish affair. Send unique wedding invitations that are personally meaningful to you (use paper in your favorite color, for example) or tied into the theme of your event (like a shell design if you're having a beach party). You may opt for ribbon-tied scroll wedding invites or monogrammed cards, or even have your invitations folded in an intricate style that mimics origami. Consult with your stationer—the possibilities are endless. 2. Recapture that "butterflies" feeling you had on your first date by throwing your rehearsal dinner at the very same restaurant. Ask guests to share funny or sweet stories about the two of you. 3. Plan your rehearsal dinner around an activity you love as a couple. Enjoy boating? Consider having a catered dinner on a yacht, suggests Alison Hotchkiss of Alison Hotchkiss Events, in San Francisco . If you're sports-loving types, try an afternoon touch-football or soccer game, followed by a moonlight picnic. 4. At your rehearsal dinner, serve a favorite family dish, like Mom's chicken pot pie, Grandma's cheesy cornbread or Aunt Suzy's vanilla-caramel cheesecake. Give your caterer the recipe, and make sure you explain the dish's significance on the menu or in a speech. 5. Hosting a lot of folks from out of town? Print up a list of your favorite spots for breakfast, dinner, drinks and so on, suggests event planner Susan Allen of Elizabeth K. Allen Inc., in Boston . "It makes things so much easier for guests, and it's nice for them to visit places the bride and groom like," she says.Standing on Ceremony 6. Roll up to your "I do" site in grand style. Go "old Hollywood " in a curvy convertible or country chic in a vintage Ford pickup truck. Marrying in a city? Hire wedding-day transportation for your bridal party that's representative of that place, like a trolley in Boston or a white Hummer limousine in Los Angeles . 7. Get creative with your seating arrangement at your reception. When Matthew David of Matthew David Events, in New York City , planned a recent wedding held on an ocean cliff, he brought in benches for older guests and had everyone else stand. To enhance an intimate, casual ceremony at a wedding held on a beach, Hotchkiss arranged to have guests sit on comfortable pillows scattered on the sand. 8. Make your wedding ceremony music meaningful. For a bride who loved opera, Allen arranged for a 15-piece orchestra to perform the woman's favorite overture. For another wedding, Allen hired a professional musician to arrange a Coldplay song for organ and strings because the bride wanted to walk down the aisle to her favorite rock ballad. 9. You don't have to be Shakespeare to write your own vows. Simply give three reasons why you love your intended and offer the three most important promises you can make. Even if the words aren't particularly eloquent, the feelings behind them will shine through brilliantly. 10. Instead of rolling out a white carpet, have the aisle strewn with fresh flowers or petals in your wedding colors. (Check with your house of worship to see if this is allowed.) 11. Do you and your fiancé have a favorite love song? Ask a friend to read the lyrics at the wedding ceremony, then use that tune for your first dance, suggests David. "It'll nicely link the ceremony and reception," he says. 12. Browse through that beloved book your parents used to read to you every night before you went to bed. An excerpt might make an ideal ceremony reading. Make sure to choose one with a fairy-tale ending—like yours. 13. Can't imagine tying the knot without your beloved dog present? "A well-behaved pooch makes a great ring bearer," says Hotchkiss. Say It with Flowers 14. The blooms you choose for the reception centerpieces and bouquets should have a symbolic meaning, says party planner Debi Lilly of A Perfect Event, in Chicago , who has organized events for Oprah Winfrey. "For example, for a wedding in San Antonio , we used lots of yellow roses to play on the ‘Yellow Rose of Texas ' song," she explains. Get inspired by the first flowers he ever sent you, your favorite blossoms, even the buds that grow in your own garden.15. Carry a bouquet containing the same type of flowers your mother's did on her wedding day. As a wonderful surprise, include your mom's wedding portrait and an explanatory note in your ceremony program. 16. Do something special for your bridesmaids: Tie their bouquets with ribbons monogrammed with their initials, suggests Hotchkiss. 17. No one says boutonnieres must be made of flowers. Instead, consider choosing a small item that reflects your groom's personality, like a fir branch if he's an outdoorsman or a sprig of rosemary if he's a great cook. Did you meet in college? A twist of ribbons in your school's colors would be a great choice.Bottoms Up18. Rather than serving a popular cocktail like a Cosmopolitan or mojito as your "signature" alcoholic drink, create one of your own. Allen recently helped a bride named Toby to come up with a concoction...

Long-Distance Wedding Planning

Sat, 01 Jan 2000 12:00:00 AM

First long-distance wedding tip: Chill. Panicking about details when you're not physically there to oversee them will not get you anywhere. The good news is that many brides who have planned weddings from afar say it can actually reduce stress. How? You're compelled to make decisions quickly, no dwelling or second-guessing. Ready to start? Here's the plan: Make a "here or there" list.Write out what can be done from where you are and what will need to be arranged where you plan to wed. Do as much as you can where you live - choose your dress, accessories, bridesmaid dresses, invitations, favors, etc. Things that must be booked there (florist, caterer, makeup and hair stylists, etc.) will need to be done on weekend trips or through great communication. Send or e-mail pictures of your ideal bouquet, hairstyles, etc., to your vendors as you come across them. Know what you want. Zeroing in on a specific style, ambience or color scheme you prefer will smooth the process and aid efficiency. At the same time, you'll need to be flexible and work with what's available at that location. As a side note, many photographers travel and some cake designers ship—though the costs can be prohibitive. Keep it simple. Minimalism will make things easier for both you and your vendors. This doesn't mean you have to use paper plates and plastic utensils. But it does mean sticking to, say, the white linens your site offers, because you can't be there to nitpick over color swatches. Online saves time. No Regrets: Long-Distance Planning TipsMarianne Weiman-Nelson of Special Occasions in Los Angeles offers her top tips for planning from afar.• Law and order. Different states and countries have different laws and restrictions regarding marriage. Familiarize yourself with those of your destination.• Save the date. If you’re traveling for your wedding, chances are some of your guests are, too. A save-the-date package, with a map and details on flights, hotels and restaurants, can be sent out months before the actual invitations.• Make mock-ups. Forward photos or pictures of things you like to vendors. You can even have a local florist do a centerpiece to your specifications, then send a picture of it to your actual florist. Have her send a picture back of her own creation based on it.Need to know more? Get input from other brides here.More and more, vendors of all sorts are maintaining their own web sites with photos, options and even price lists. For those without web sites, call and request brochures and detailed information. Bands usually offer sample cassettes or videos. Once you're in the contract stage, faxes will be a lifesaver. Point of contact. Having at least one ready-and-willing point person in the locale in which you're hosting the wedding is obviously going to ease stress. Chances are your mom would love to screen floral designers, and your dad wouldn't mind booking the limos. (If your point person has a digital camera, he or she can e-mail you top picks.) If you've got a gaggle of friends back home, delegate! But if you're marrying in the Caribbean, for example, and you don't know a soul, seek out a consultant to walk you through the planning step by step and do the major legwork. Many resorts have pros on-site. Schedule appointments. If you're able to make a trip or two to the location, book appointments in close proximity. You'll want to meet all vendors in person. To save time, meet only with the absolute finalists, and call their references beforehand. Make quick, but not rash, decisions.Time is of the essence, and you'll need to act quickly—and with confidence. Choose vendors you've been referred to, met with and like, then trust your decision and their professionalism. Once you've committed, don't assume you can just show up on the big day. Follow up with your vendors often to prevent any unpleasant surprises. Let it go. Even before all the details are in place, you'll need to come to grips with the fact that there's no room for perfectionism in long-distance planning. No wedding is ever perfect—even one you host in your own backyard! Treat your inner control freak to a trip to the spa or a nice lunch with friends once in a while. Basically, do whatever you need to do to stay calm. Before you travel to your locale, think: Hey, I've done my best. And now that we're here, let's enjoy it.

The A to Z Guide to Planning Your Wedding

Sat, 01 Jan 2000 12:00:00 AM

Getting engaged couldn't be more exciting, but once you actually start on the task that lies ahead of you, you may feel a bit overwhelmed. There's so much involved in planning a wedding: Should you have an outdoor event? Should you send save-the-date cards? When do you mail your invitations? Do you really need to have an open bar? Your head might start spinning as you ponder the difference between an escort card and a place card. Relax—here are all the basics you'll need to help you pull together a memorable wedding. AmbienceClose your eyes and try to envision your perfect wedding. Is it a bold-colored blast with a trendy fusion menu? Or perhaps a relaxed, nature-inspired affair in stunning shades of green? Zeroing in on the type of ambience you want your event to evoke is the first step in making your dream wedding a reality. For inspiration, grab a stack of magazines (wedding, home and travel mags work best) and tear out any photos that catch your eye. Lay them side by side and look for the common thread—serene blues and greens, for example. Chances are these colors will create the feeling that's right for you. AttendantsThe number of attendants you choose is up to you. You can keep it small and ask just your closest sibling or best friend, or extend your entourage to include more pals or family members. Remember that you aren't required to have the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, so don't feel compelled to ask someone to join your bridal party just to keep the sides even.BudgetDeveloping a realistic budget is admittedly not the most romantic part of planning your wedding, but you certainly can't do much of anything before you figure one out. To get a sense of how much dough you have to work with, determine how much you and your fiancé have available and sit down with both sets of parents to find out what, if anything, they are able to contribute.B-ListSecond, avoid putting people who know one another well on separate lists. If a B-list coworker happens to compare notes with an A-lister, for example, she'll likely realize that she didn't make the top tier. Ouch! CeremonyThis is just what it sounds like: a list of guests who will score invites to your wedding if any guests on your A-list decline. Here's how to carry this off without offending anyone. First, send your A-list invites out eight to 10 weeks before your event so you have enough time to get responses and move on to the B-list. (You don't want your B-listers receiving their invitations suspiciously close to your wedding date!) This is really the heart of your wedding day, and there are lots of choices when it comes to what's best for you. You can opt for a religious ceremony at a house of worship, a legal ceremony at city hall or a courthouse, or a spiritual ceremony in just about any location, from a tranquil garden to an elegant ballroom or private home. If you and your future husband are of different faiths, consider an ecumenical or interfaith ceremony that incorporates elements from each of your religious traditions.Destination weddingIf you're thinking about tying the knot across the country or even halfway around the world, you're right in style. Destination weddings are getting more popular all the time. If you want to get hitched abroad, be sure to thoroughly research your dream destination's marriage requirements. Some mandate that you must be in the country for a specific number of days before the wedding, for example. Another option: Skip the hassle of foreign laws, marry officially in the U.S., and then have a religious or spiritual ceremony and a reception at your destination.Emergency kitDon't leave for the ceremony without an emergency kit packed with essentials for tackling common wedding-day mishaps like torn hems or broken heels. Some must-haves: double-sided fabric tape, a small sewing kit, superglue, deodorant, breath mints, clear nail polish, moleskin and tissues.Engagement partiesThese are entirely optional, but they can be a fun way for the bride's and groom's family and friends to get acquainted before the wedding day. Any willing friend or relative can host an engagement party, but if more than one is planned, the bride's parents get the first shot if they wish to host. The party can be a traditional cocktail party, a laid-back barbecue or a buffet brunch—anything goes! Escort cardsIf you really don't know the difference between these and place cards, you are not alone (even some wedding pros get this one wrong!). "Escort card" is the name for the cards used to indicate each guest's table assignment. These miniature missives, which are usually arranged on a table near the entrance to the dining room, serve a practical purpose, but also offer a chance to get creative. For example, you might write names and table numbers on Christmas tree ornaments for a holiday affair; small gourds or pumpkins for a fall fête; or seashells and sand dollars for a summer celebration. First danceTake a cue from the hit TV show Dancing with the Stars and spend a few weeks polishing your steps for your first dance. Whether you waltz, tango or swing, a little practice (or even a few lessons) can make the difference between shuffling nervously around the dance floor and wowing your guests with your smooth moves. FavorsShow your guests how much you appreciate their presence with a thoughtful favor. Skip the candle or cookie (old news!) and consider petite treats with a purpose. Think silver luggage tags, cool coasters or corkscrews, or packets of sophisticated cocktail mixes to go. Check out these websites for a creative selection of budget-friendly favors: theweddingshopper.com, favorwarehouse.com, myweddingfavors.com, and favoraffair.com.If you're thinking of something a little more personal, try making a donation to your favorite charity on behalf of your guests. The I Do Foundation offers a simple and easy way to make your donation. You can choose an organization from their list or suggest your own. Place cards are also available for purchase to let your guests know about the special gift.Groom's cakeA tradition that originated in the South, a groom's cake—which can sit near the wedding cake or on a separate table at the reception—is a fun addition. Surprise your guy with a confection that reflects his hobbies or interests. A baseball fan will love a bat- or hat-shaped cake, while a music lover will appreciate a treat shaped like his favorite instrument. You can serve the cake at the reception or box up slices for guests to take home.HeritageLooking for ways to put your personal stamp on your wedding? Consider including elements—from food to colors to music—that honor your and your fiancé's family heritage. Be sure to explain the significance to your guests. For example, you can describe specific customs or songs in the wedding program or highlight special dishes on menu cards at each place setting. InvitationsIdeally, you should start your search for the perfect invitations six to eight months before your wedding and place your order at least four months before your date. If you don't make those deadlines, ask the printer to send the envelopes ahead of the invitations themselves. This way, you can get a head start on the time-consuming task of addressing the envelopes. Junior bridesmaidThis role usually goes to a close female friend or relative between the ages of nine and 14. Your junior bridesmaid (if you decide to have one) will, of course, skip the bachelorette party and won't be expected to chip in on the cost of a bridal shower. She and her parents should, however, be invited to the rehearsal dinner.Kids' tableShow your youngest guests a great time by seating them all at a special kids' table designed with them in mind (see page tk for inspiration). Some tot-friendly ideas: Put a coloring book and crayons at each place setting or provide each child with a goodie bag of small treats...

25 Golden Rules for a Perfect Wedding

Sat, 01 Jan 2000 12:00:00 AM

While I was planning my wedding, I worked for this very magazine, and I considered myself lucky to have some inside knowledge about how to do it right. Even so, no bride's an expert until after the fact. There are just so many things to cover, from choosing the right reception site and finding reliable vendors to sticking to a budget, not to mention taking care of creative details like the food, flowers, décor and so on. It takes a lot of work to get it all done, and you're probably getting nervous just reading this. Relax! We guarantee this comprehensive guide to your most important wedding planning moves will help make your celebration—and your first stint as a party-throwing diva—a resounding success.1. Discuss your "vision." Sit down with your fiancé and talk about your idea of a "dream" wedding. Cover as many details as you can: Will it be big or small? Formal or casual? At home or away? Will the reception have a theme—say, all winter white, with glittering crystal everywhere? Don't leave anything out, no matter how extravagant (you've always envisioned arriving at the church in a horse-drawn carriage). Doing this will identify what's important to both of you and also help you decide what's feasible.2. Find your style. Before you book a single appointment or make a wedding-related purchase, start browsing through magazines (not just bridal books, but home décor, travel and fashion magazines, too) to generate ideas about the general look of your affair, advises Alison Hotchkiss of Alison Events in San Francisco (alisonevents.com). For instance, maybe you'll be inspired by the Mediterranean colors and flavors in a travel story about . Or, perhaps you'll see a handbag, a shoe, or even a couch in a color scheme you'd love to re-create in your floral arrangements or cake decoration. As you do research, you'll notice that a theme will begin to emerge, which can be a jumping-off point to choosing the individual elements. 3. Establish a budget. Unless you just won the mega-million-dollar jackpot, there's no getting around drawing up a budget when you're planning a wedding, says Brian T. Kiefer, social and corporate event planner for Food for Thought Catering, in Chicago . First, figure out who's paying—you and your fiancé, your parents, or maybe some combination. Then divide that sum among the following categories: reception, including the site fee, and catering and alcohol costs (40%); honeymoon (13%); photography and videography (10%); bridal gown, tux and accessories (6%); music (5%); flowers (3%); invitations (2%); ceremony (5%); wedding rings (6%); and the rehearsal dinner, limos, attendants' gifts, tips and miscellaneous costs (10%). While it's okay if these figures change a bit once you get going, try never to go above your total limit. You don't want to start out your marriage feeling regretful that you overspent—and carrying the burden of debt.4. Dare to be different. Want to make your celebration stand out from all those cookie-cutter weddings you've been to? Think personalization—that's the term industry professionals use. It can mean incorporating ethnic traditions into your ceremony, having your bridesmaids choose their own dresses so they don't all look alike, inviting your beloved dog to the reception, asking your caterer to prepare a special family recipe for dinner or even having your cake decorated with your new married monogram. You're only limited by your imagination. 5. Get it in writing. Repeat after us: Contracts are a bride's best friend. Study the fine print on anything a vendor asks you to sign, and be sure that you understand what you've agreed to. For example, your band or DJ may be willing to stay past the established stop time—for an overtime fee. If so, the terms should be stipulated in the contract so that you don't end up with a several-hundred-dollar surprise at the end of the night. Similarly, it's a good idea to ask that taxes also be included—these fees can really add up. Any changes you make after you've signed the contract should also be in writing, not just verbal agreements. Let's say, for instance, that you've decided you want orange roses in the bridesmaid bouquets instead of yellow as previously planned. Follow up your phone call to your florist with a fax or e-mail, and be sure you get a confirmation back. 6. Pay with plastic. Use a credit card rather than cash or a check when you put down deposits at the time you sign the contracts. Should anything go wrong, such as a vendor who reneges or goes out of business, your credit card company won't hold you responsible for costs incurred. Bonus: If you have (or apply for) a credit card with frequent-flier mile rewards, you can use those points toward purchasing your honeymoon flights.7. Organize like a master. Keep meticulous records of all your wedding details on a Palm Pilot or computer, in a Filofax or giant folder, or even in a paper bag from the grocery store—whatever system works best for you, says Denise Walpole, certified wedding consultant and owner of Soiree Event Consultation & Design in Austin, Texas (austinsoiree.com). There's simply too much going on right now to keep it all in your head, and this way you'll be able to access information easily when the need arises. Got a vendor with whom you're in constant contact? That's what speed dial is for. Post-it notes make great tabs in a homemade wedding book. And, have a pen and paper on hand at all times: You never know when an idea will strike.8. Choose your pros carefully. Buying a vendor's service is similar to purchasing a car, says Kiefer. You want the most for your money, and you don't want to be stuck with a lemon. So, ask recently married friends and family for recommendations and meet the prospective pros in person (you'll be spending a lot of time together, so you want to click). See samples of their work, and ask for and check references (talk to a few recent clients). And don't get so caught up in how much you like a vendor's work that you ignore bad service, adds Walpole. There's no sense hiring a super talented florist who's too busy to return your phone calls, or getting your heart set on a hot band that balks when you suggest a play list.9. Consider getting help. As any recent bride will tell you, throwing a wedding, while exciting, is no walk in the park. That's why it may be smart to bring in an expert. A wedding coordinator will do everything from finding you an excellent photographer based on your needs and budget to confirming the bouquet delivery time and arranging your train on the day of the wedding. Want to wow your guests with a themed event? Your pro can tell you what's in—and out. She can even save you money, says Walpole: Successful planners get discounts from preferred vendors by giving them a lot of repeat business—breaks that, in turn, get passed on to you. So, you could end up earning back all or most of the planner's fee, not to mention saving time and sparing yourself the hassles of orchestrating a big event. Don't want to hire a full-time person? Consider getting someone on a freelance basis to handle big projects like finding a reception site and caterer, or to be in charge on your big-day only—she'll make sure things run smoothly so you won't have to. 10. Go surfing. The Internet has just about revolutionized wedding planning. You can listen to a band's music, peruse a photographer's or florist's work, take virtual tours of reception sites and compare costs. Practically the only thing you can't do online is taste cakes. Just don't book someone based on the beauty of the site alone, advises Hotchkiss. While a professional-looking site is a good...

Avoid Wedding-Day Disasters

Sat, 01 Jan 2000 12:00:00 AM

Three weeks before our wedding, my fiancé, Chris, and I visited our wedding site to meet with our band leader and show him around. As we approached the turn-of-the-century mansion, a pleasant smoky scent came wafting toward us. Sure, it was March and we should have realized that it wasn't really cold enough for a fire, but we were too deep in prenuptial bliss to be skeptical of anything. So imagine our surprise when we opened the heavy wooden doors to find enormous dehumidifiers drying the foyer. Upstairs, yellow emergency tape was stretched across the entrance to the library, the room in which we were to marry, and piles of wet books were strewn about the floor. The site manager wrung her hands as she told us there had been a fire, then became curt when we asked if the repairs would be completed in time for our wedding. "We have to fly in a woodworker to repair the damage," she spat. "I have no idea how long this will take." Ah, the best laid plans... The reality is, no matter how organized you are, a last-minute mishap can threaten to ruin your celebration. While Chris and I were lucky that the damage to the mansion was repaired by our wedding day and our party went off without a hitch, or even a hint of smoke, there are measures you can take to protect yourselves from even the worst unforeseen events. Here's how to guarantee some peace of mind for your big day. Disaster Scenario #1: A Vendor Doesn't Deliver Summer Facchini found a fabulous vineyard site for her July 2004 wedding in Portland, Oregon. Several months after she booked it, however, the catering manager informed her that the only alcohol she could serve would be the vineyard's own wines. Frustrated that she wouldn't be able to offer cocktails or even beer at the rocking party she was hoping to have, Summer decided to cancel her contract. Since the site manager had failed to inform her of the alcohol policy at the time she booked, her deposit was returned. But now Summer had a larger problem: She had to find a new venue for her reception, and she knew she would have trouble because July and August are the most popular months for weddings in Portland. After many calls, the anxious bride lucked out: A lovely manor had an opening. "Those were a rough few months," says Summer. "But, in the end, it all fell into place, and it was wonderful."Summer's story has a happy ending, but there's no denying that putting your faith in a wedding vendor always carries a risk, as Bridal Guide's creative director, Robin Zachary, learned while planning her wedding several years ago. She made a $400 deposit for a gown at a boutique that had been around for decades—but about a month before her big day, the store suddenly went out of business. "I tried calling the shop to see if the dress was ready, and the phone kept ringing and ringing," says Robin. "I finally drove over there and saw that the store had been totally cleared out. After the shock wore off, I found a new dress at a wonderful bridal salon that rushed the alterations for me. The weird thing is that the original boutique owner called me three days before my wedding, saying she had my dress and explaining that a family emergency had necessitated the closing of the store. When I told her about how I'd gone ahead and bought a new gown, she apologized and offered to dye the original dress for me, so I could wear it to another fancy occasion in the future. She didn't even ask me to pay the balance. I was still upset, but I accepted because it was a great dress."The fact is, you can't totally prevent these kinds of mishaps from happening, but you can limit the chance that something will go wrong. First, it's important to pick a reliable venue and vendors. "Don't go through the phone book. Instead, get recommendations from friends, family members and coworkers," advises David Borgenicht, coauthor of The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Weddings (Chronicle Books). Consider asking local businesspeople, whose own businesses depend on using reputable service people, what pros they use. It's also crucial to get signed contracts from all of your vendors and to keep receipts for down payments and other expenses. You'll need these things so that you can prove a contract was broken in the event that you have to go to court to get your deposit back. And make sure certain important details are written into your contract, says Thomas Danziger, a New York City attorney who works with restaurant and special-event clients. For instance, specify exactly who will be providing the service promised. After all, you want the owner of the business with whom you initially spoke, and who came highly recommended by a recently married friend, to personally do the work, not one of his less-experienced underlings. Also, you should include a clause that allows you to terminate without cause (possibly for a small fee) if, as the wedding approaches, you lose confidence in the vendor.Finally, consider purchasing wedding insurance, which will reimburse your expenses in case a vendor should default. This insurance is fairly inexpensive. For example, at WedSafe (wedsafe.com), a wedding insurance company, a policy for a $35,000 wedding costs approximately $305.Disaster Scenario #2: Nature Unleashes Her Fury Think a drizzly wedding day would be a bummer? Luis Rosero and Lisa Moreno, of New York City , should have been so lucky. Their Miami event was interrupted by Hurricane Jeanne last September—and worse still, they only received word that their church and reception site planned to close at their rehearsal dinner—the night before the big day.The couple had to decide then and there whether to cancel the wedding outright or postpone it for a few days. In the end, they did neither, choosing to get married that very evening instead, since most of their guests were already in town and were actually at the rehearsal dinner. Lisa and Luis rushed into action. "We found an officiant who could perform the ceremony and told everyone that we'd be getting married later that night, at the house we had rented for the week," says Lisa. "Our wedding planner was a big help, too. She picked up the cake herself and arranged to have the florist bring over the flowers." As Lisa and Luis learned, it's possible the wedding you worked so hard to arrange won't happen as planned. But the good news is that you don't have to lose all your money along with your dream day. That's because the same safeguards that protect you against a breach of contract, bankruptcy or fraud also will protect you in the case of a flood, fire or storm. So, make sure you have contracts, pay with a credit card and consider taking out wedding insurance (Lisa had purchased a policy, which reimbursed them for their lost expenses). Crossing your fingers can't hurt, either!Disaster Scenario #3: A Loved One Falls Ill or DiesWhen a family member passes away before the wedding, the issue is not so much a financial matter as it is an emotional one. "You'll have to ask yourselves, ‘Do we want to postpone our marriage, which is the start of our new life together, in order to grieve?' " says Allison Moir-Smith, a bridal counselor fromBrookline, Massachusetts . Many couples come to the conclusion that while the death of a loved one was an ending, their wedding is a beginning—and that life must go on.If you purchased wedding insurance, know that you will be covered if you choose to cancel in the event of a death. But if you decide to proceed, "You must embrace the fact that the grief is going to be part of the day," says Moir-Smith. One thing that may ease the pain just a bit is to acknowledge the loss of the family member during the ceremony and reception. For instance, consider mentioning the person in the program and ask your officiant to explain the situation during the service. At the reception,...