Tutorial: Bird Cage Veil

I am so happy to write a guest blog for Bridal Guide!

Today I will be covering one of my favorite topics: sewing. I love to sew, and wedding planning has been a great excuse to get behind my sewing machine! I have also done a lot of wedding-related sewing for my friends as they get married. I recently made a bird cage veil for my friend Kaylie, who got married on Halloween. Kaylie wanted a vintage-inspired veil, so I knew a bird cage veil would be perfect! Here's a peek at the finished product:

Supplies:
1/2 yard white or ivory russian netting
1/4 yard white or ivory tulle
White or ivory thread
Hand sewing needles
Sewing machine
Sharp scissors
Parchment paper (my secret ingredient!)
Sewing pins
Silk flower
Pearl beads
Hot glue gun (wash your hands after using, most cords for glue guns contain lead)
Hot glue sticks
Bobby pins
Head of a friend (attached, of course!)

Ok, you will have to be patient with this tutorial. Making a birdcage veil is a lot like making a sculpture! You will need to ask a friend who has about the same size head as you to come over. Also, store your netting very loosley rolled; it will crease if you fold it, and it is hard to get those suckers out! Also, be extremely careful with the netting. It will catch on your scissors when you don't want it to, it will catch on your sewing machine...it will catch on just about anything! Also, be really, really careful when trimming the netting while it's on your friend's head; it is easier than you think to snip her hair!

Step 1: Shaping the veil
Take a piece of the russian netting (about 14" long), and place it on your friend's head. Adjust the netting so it hangs as low or high as you want-over the eyes, under the eyes, over one eye, etc. Also pay attention to the angle of the egde of the netting. Kaylie wanted a sharp angle, with the netting covering one eye. Once you have the "hem" of the veil in the right place, fold the netting on the top of your friend's head to make a dart. The dart will help bring the veil into a "hooded" shape. A dart is kind of like a pleat, but it is in a triangular shape. Also, you will fold the dart together on the underside of where the veil will sit.

Step 2: Pin the dart

I put the pins where I want to sew the dart. I have pinned the netting to my secret ingredient-parchment paper! The paper allows you to sew the extremely open netting on the sewing machine. After we sew the dart, we will rip the paper off of the netting. Parchment paper is the perfect weight for this; if you use tissue paper, you will have tons of paper bits stuck in your stitches and it will take a long time to pick them all out. Parchment paper might leave a tiny piece here or there, but it is easy to grab. Parchment paper is also perfect because it isn't sticky and won't gum up your machine. :)

Step 3: Sew the dart
Now sew an angled line to form the dart. As soon as you begin stitching, backstitch. Also, every time you go over an intersection of netting, backstitch. Basically, backstitch as much as you can all the way through the seam. This helps hold the open netting together. It should look like this when you are finished:

Step 4: Gently tear the paper away from the netting
Be careful, but firm. Your netting will look like this when you are done:

Step 5: Trim the dart
But not too close. If you didn't backstitch enough while sewing in the dart, the netting could come undone easily.

Place the veil on your friend's head and see if you need another dart. I did need to make another small dart for Kaylie, but one may be all you need! If you do add another dart, repeat steps 1-5.

Step 6: Determine where the silk flower will go
Now that you have the shape of the veil, place it on your friend's head and mark the spot where you would like the flower to go. Next, cut four pieces of netting rectangles and four tulle rectangles.

Layer these in an X shape over the spot where your flower will go. This will provide stability when we glue the flower on. Pin all layers to parchment paper and sew through the middle. You only need to sew about an inch long to keep them in place.

Step 7: Sew pearls into the center of the flower
Take a hand-sewing needle, and thread it. Sew pearl beads (or whatever beads you like) into the center of the flower, to cover up the plastic in the middle. Here's how mine looked:

Now place the flower on the center of your tulle "X". Hot glue into place:

Now bobby pin the veil onto your head. There will probably be areas in the back that you can trim, and you may want to trim the sides to complement your face. If you like, you can take the untrimmed veil to your hairdresser, and he or she can trim it once it is in place. Let's take another look at Kaylie's veil:

You may want to practice before making the final veil. Try not to be overwhelmed by the "sculpture" aspect of this project-have fun with it!

Veil tip: I helped a friend make some bird cage veils for her bridesmaids last summer, and she spray painted the netting to match the color of the dresses! It was very subtle, and so cute.

Posted by Miss Taffy at 11:21 a.m.

It Never Hurts to Ask: Negotiation Tips for the Hapless Haggler

I'm not gonna lie...negotiating used to intimidate me to no end. I'd stutter, lose my words, blush and periodically melt into a puddle of self-deprecating goo. I'd look at my future fiance and sheepishly say, "You talk." It took baby steps and several years of practice, but starting small, I began to conquer the fear and, eventually, came to enjoy the art. I'm now proud to say I take the helm in almost all of our negotiations-wedding or otherwise.

In my research, I've noticed that many bridal resources encourage negotiation, but few offer solid suggestions on how to best approach the game. I want you brides to feel empowered to fight for what you want, so today I want to share some of my best tricks for handling the mighty task of haggling.

Many brides are intimidated by the thought of negotiating, but a bride in charge of "wearing the pants" (if you'll pardon the antiquated phrase) has one of three possible effects: 1. It commands respect 2. It serves as a disarming distraction, or 3. It doesn't faze the vendor at all. None of those reactions put you at risk, so why not give it a go? Now, let's be straight. I'm not talking about pushy bridezilla pants. I'm talking about respectful, savvy negotiator pants. Trust me ladies, they're much more flattering on you.

The key principle I operate upon in many life situations, is one my parents taught me growing up: It never hurts to ask. The worst they could say is no, right? But they could surprise you with a yes...and wouldn't you rather be sure, than miss an opportunity due to shyness? This is the hallmark of my approach to negotiation.

If above is the entree to a negotiation, it is crucial to have a good side dish: Be nice. It will make or break your deal. People like to help nice people. They may not reciprocate. They might even act like you'll be lucky if they deign to accept your booking, but don't be distracted by their style. Always keep cool, positive and strong.

But, I say, go beyond being nice. Treat them more as a potential friend than a business deal. Get to know them a bit and relate to them on a human level. Having them on your side will make them more inclined to have a vested interest in your business. This isn't about manipulation, its about being open. After all, wouldn't you rather have a friend at your wedding than just another vendor? I've come to learn some really cool things about the people I'm working with-and I love feeling a sense of camaraderie with my vendors.

At the same time, don't be afraid to speak on their level. Show them that you know your stuff. While there's no guarantee they'll respect your knowledge, at least they'll know better than to try pulling the wool over your eyes, which will save you both time and effort. Great expectations yield great results, so be confident and it will inspire confidence in you.

The best way to get comfortable with speaking on their level is to know your product or service inside and out. Research which companies to target and evaluate which are most likely to be a good negotiation candidate for your situation. Key things to consider:

What's your wedding date? Are they in high demand during that season/on that day of the week? Or are you in off season/on an off day? Are you flexible on the date?

Are they a promising new company, talented small business or an industry star? Do they need to build a portfolio, or can they afford to be picky?

What reviews can you find about the customer service and employees? What's your experience with them (ie: response time, friendliness)?

What similar companies are out there, and what are their prices? Try to seek out any specials or discount offers you can find, from all competing vendors in your area.

Know everything possible about what you want and what it's worth, and then determine your bottom line. Know both your "dream price" and your absolute maximum, be armed with specifics. Some of my best negotiations have been a result of citing competitive company statistics. Let them know that they're your first choice but ask if they'll beat competitors' pricing.

If you can't find lower pricing to haggle against, simply make an offer. Even if a company advertises a specific price, they may respond to fair and respectfully made offers. This is especially common among smaller and newer companies with a need to build a portfolio or word-of-mouth. But, remember to be fair. Be aware of the value of their time and goods. A good approach is: "This is what I need for my event, and this is my budget for this item. I'd love to work with your company because of (insert flattering but honest reason here), and I hope we can work something out."

Now, come here.... Come closer! I'm about to share my best "big guns" secret, but this is just between us, okay? Barter. Whenever possible, offer something in exchange for a discount. Play to your strengths. What can you do well for them? Anything from cleaning their office/studio to offering a trade of service like marketing or graphic design might work, depending on the company. Try and identify any needs they have, and politely offer some "free" assistance in exchange for a discount or full trade. I used this method to finance my dream wedding dress, by doing invoicing and fabric cutting for the designer in my spare time. I'm living proof-it can happen!

So, start small...but be brave. After all, the worst they can say is no, right? Trust me ladies, if you approach with preparation, openness and confidence on your side-you can be one bad-ass negotiator-and experience the empowerment of getting what you want at a price you can afford.

Posted by Miss Meatball at 4:51 p.m.

Red Carpet Inspirations for a White Aisle Event

I'm usually not a big fan of awards shows, with their gaudy sets, the awkward banter between presenters, the tedious speechifying that leads to abrupt (and even more awkward) orchestral interventions. Sure, people (for the most part) are better dressed, but it's basically senior prom and the candidates' forum for freshmen class president amped up and rolled into one. 10 out of 10 on the awkward scale. No higher than 3 on the entertainment meter. What I do love, however, are the post-show fashion recaps-on E!, in blogs (oh how I heart the caustic wit of the Fug Girls), and in magazines like Instyle and People.

As I was perusing the Emmy recaps this year, it struck me that for the first time the recaps could actually be relevant. My wedding day will be the one time that I a) get my hair done by a professional, b) employ the services of a makeup artist, c) wear a custom-fitted dress, and d) have hundreds of pictures taken of me. So I thought I'd share with you some lessons/inspirations I took from the red carpet this year.

1) Careful with the bronzer. Olivia Wilde looks gorgeous here in her Reem Acra dress-which I love particularly because its embellished sheer sleeves are reminiscent of the ones on my own gown-but the overuse of bronzer is making her face look muddy. I use Bare Escentuals' "warmth" for my daily makeup regimen and would likely have been tempted to apply it a bit more heavy-handedly on wedding day. Olivia, you saved me.

All photos from Instyle.com

2) Work a "skinny" pose. I've read on various sites, including About.com, that the key to a svelte look in front of the camera is a slightly contorted pose. You basically turn partially away from the camera, put one foot in front of the other, point the toes of your front foot (which gives you a lean leg), and place your weight on your back foot. And you lift your arms slightly away from the body to give your arm muscles some definition and to keep away the unsightly arm flab.

3) Get a hairstyle that can go from day to night. Heidi Klum works this loosely pulled back pony tail on the red carpet . . .

. . . then releases it into vintage glam curls for the after parties. Whereas Marcia Cross still looks a bit uptight and formal, Heidi's ready to schmooze and dance. I'll totally be stealing this look to transition from the ceremony to the reception.

What inspirations or lessons did you take away from the awards shows this year? Will you be working a red carpet look for your wedding day?

Posted by Miss Cocoa at 6:35 p.m.

For Love or Country

My fiance and I moved to Vancouver, BC, from California less than a year ago and started planning our wedding shortly thereafter. Planning has been a little lonely since most of our friends and family are thousands of miles away, but we were super excited to finally be able to get legally wed! You see, my fiance and I are a same-sex couple and we've had to travel many miles to be able to stay together as a couple.

In February 2004, we watched the news with sheer glee as marriage licenses began to be issued to same-sex couples. Del Martin, 83, and Phyllis Lyon, 79, a couple that had been together for 51-years were the first to be married. Their photo was on the front page of the newspaper on Valentine's Day:

We wanted so badly to drive up and join the thousands of same-sex couples that were flocking to San Francisco City Hall. Unfortunately, we couldn't because at the time my fiance, who is not a U.S. citizen, was on a student visa and if she showed "intent to stay" in the U.S., which getting married would, her visa could be revoked. We sent flowers to city hall, but we stayed home.

My fiance eventually got a work visa. However, there is a time limit on how long you can stay in the U.S. as a foreign worker. Marriage offers 1,138 federal benefits and responsibilities, one of which is the right to sponsor your foreign spouse for a green card. Instead, binational same-sex couples like us are forced to live apart, out stay their visas and live outside the law, or immigrate to a country that will allow them to remain together.

Well-meaning people often suggested that she marry an American man so that she could get a green card that way, but we didn't want to go that route. I mean who wants to attend the wedding of your fiance to another person? Not to mention that it is also illegal and we didn't want to have to live with that kind of stress and uncertainty.

Even though Massachusetts and my home state, California, legalized same-sex marriage, getting married there would not help us since immigration is a federal benefit of marriage and the federal government would not recognize our marriage.

Before we came to Canada, we put up a good fight. We went to the county clerk's office to ask for a marriage license and were denied. We wrote letters, we rallied, we marched, we made phone calls, we gave speeches, and we even went on a cross-country bus trip, "The Marriage Equality Express." None of it mattered and in the end we had to leave.

Last summer, my fiance was offered a job with a Canadian company. We decided to go for it since this would mean finally putting an end to the uncertainty of how we would be able to remain together long term. I was allowed to immigrate with her as her common-law spouse. It was an obvious, but painful choice. We would do anything to stay together. Now we join the growing number of "love exiles" who have left the U.S. in order to remain together.

To be honest, planning our wedding is a little bittersweet. We'd prefer to be living back in California and planning our wedding with our friends and family nearby. But for now we are thrilled to live in a country that recognizes our relationship and provides us with the benefits afforded to all of its citizens. Here we are with our marriage license:

Aside from all the legal challenges, we also found planning our ceremony to be a bit tough. Initially, I went out and bought a couple of the most popular wedding planning books to guide me. I found that route to be less than helpful, what with all the references to the groom. How do two brides walk to the altar anyway? While I appreciate thinking outside of the box and personalization, I also recognize people use templates for a reason. It's difficult to make it all up as you go along! It turns out that I didn't actually have to make anything up, I just had to be creative and willing to draw from several sources. First, our officiant who is a Unitarian Universalist minister provided us with sample ceremonies that were easy to tailor to reflect us. I also turned to the trusty Internet for ideas on readings, alternatives to the bride being walked down the aisle to her groom, and even a ring warming ceremony.

My cousin served as our "official ring warmer," making sure that we got the rings back in time for the exchange of the rings.

Now that we are married, I am really happy that we did it our way because each element of the ceremony was meaningful to us. We walked down the aisle together. We didn't have a wedding party, but we found ways to involve family and friends throughout the ceremony. We used readings that reflected us as a couple: Our 12-year old niece read from Sandol Stoddard's children's book, "I Like You," my grandpa read an excerpt from "The Art of a Good Marriage" by Wilfred Arlan Peterson, and a good friend of ours read "Blessing of the Hands." We also had a ring warming ceremony as a way to involve all of our guests in the ceremony. The text is below.

"During this ceremony the couple will exchange rings. These rings are a visible sign of their commitment to one another. They have been wearing these rings for several years already, because even when they could not get legally married in the U.S., they wanted to wear a symbol of their commitment to each other. As this ceremony proceeds, we invite family and friends to take part in the warming of the rings. We ask that you wish them health and happiness, and all that is noble in life. I ask that each guest hold them for a moment, warm them with your love and make a silent wish for this couple, and their future together. When these rings come back they will contain, in their precious metal, that which is more precious, that which is priceless-your love and hope and pledge of support for their marriage."

The road to our wedding day was not a well-paved path. It involved a lot of trail blazing. But I think that this experience has definitely been good preparation for married life.

Posted by Miss Gingerbread at 12:39 p.m.

International Marriage Traditions

Not a lot has been written on intercultural marriages in the blogosphere, probably because in many ways, every single marriage is an instance of two different cultures attempting to blend together. Whether it is regional culture, familial culture, national culture or religious culture, each couple must find ways to merge and honor their own belief systems and backgrounds.

I became fascinated with all things folklore related after taking a few classes at my University, and in the middle of writing papers I took some time to research Polish wedding traditions in some of the textbooks I was reading. The customs they spoke of were so unique and meaningful, I knew that I wanted to find ways to incorporate some of them into my own wedding.

All of this cultural research has led me to think about where my own family comes from. I have Danish ancestors and my fiance has Polish ancestors, so I have begun to look into wedding traditions from both countries. Here are some of the things I am thinking about incorporating.

Danish Traditions

1. Danish weddings serve marzipan cake as the wedding cake. It's made with almonds and marzipan and decorated with a sugar paste icing. I'm planning on having a cake buffet instead of one wedding cake, so a cake like this would be a possibility.

2. When the groom leaves the room, all of the single men will run up to the bride and attempt to kiss her. The same thing happens when the bride leaves the room.

3. Towards the end of the night, all the groomsmen attack the groom and attempt to cut his tie and socks. It is thought that this practice is to see if the groom's feet are clean; dirty feet signify that he has been running in the fields after pretty maidens. I will actually be discouraging this idea. :)

4. The bride and groom begin dancing a traditional Danish waltz. As the dance progresses all the guests form a circle around them and begin to clap and tighten the circle until they are completely surrounding the bride and groom.

Polish Traditions

1. Probably my favorite Polish tradition is throwing pennies at the bride and groom as they leave the ceremony. The best part of this practice is that the bride and groom must stop and pick the pennies up after they are thrown at them. It makes for some really great photos! The pennies are supposed to be an indication of financial fortune in the future, which must be why this bride and groom look so eager to bend down in their wedding attire and collect them.

2. According to this site, Poles consider bread to be a gift of God, and salt to be a basic necessity of life. The couple is presented with bread and salt, often by their respective parents, in a meaningful ceremony where the words "may you never lack it" are pronounced.

3. In Poland they do not toss the bouquet, rather the veil. I am not having a bouquet toss, and so this might be a fun substitute. It seems as though the veil would have to be wrapped around something with some heft to help it fly. I am anti-garter tossing, and it seems like the Pole's might be as well because the groom ends up throwing his tie. I am sure that my groom wouldn't mind loosening up a little bit at the end of the night.

These are just a few of the many customs and traditions that happen at weddings. If you know your family background, a little digging can bring up so many meaningful ideas you can use to honor your heritage and add a unique touch to your wedding.

Posted by Miss Avocado at 3:25 p.m.

Affordable Wedding Dresses

While the economy is spiraling out of control and oil prices continue to skyrocket, rumors have begun spinning 'round that the wedding industry is raising its rates as well.

I'm happy to report that you don't have to spend a fortune on your wedding day to make it the stylish, romantic, amazing event that you and your loved ones will remember for years to come. You can do it on a budget, even a small one.

For instance, that $10,000 Oscar de la Renta gown Katherine Hiegel rocked during her Christmas nuptials last year? Not necessary! You can grab yourself a gown with a style that mirrors your personal taste-no matter how unique-at rock-bottom prices. You just need to know what your options are and where to look.

The Non-Wedding Wedding Dress

Sure, you may not be able to afford the Vera Wang gown of your dreams, but if a designer dress is your wish, it's totally doable! Many designers that cater to the stars create masterpieces for the red carpet in white, silver and ivory. The price tags don't carry that wedding premium, but the fabulous cuts and fashion-forward details are still there. If you're looking for a Non-Wedding Wedding Dress, check out: Nordstrom, Gilt Groupe or Bluefly.

The Department Store Dress

There are many department, catalog and discount stores designing wedding dresses for the low-budget bride-and they are fabulous. If you're looking for simple and subtle details, these dresses will whet your appetite. If you're looking for a Department Store Dress, check out: JCrew, Target or White House Black Market.

The Vintage Dress Vintage is IN!

Those uber-fabulous fifties-inspired short wedding dresses of the past are back. Harness your inner Jackie-O and don a pretty pencil or circle skirt that will allow you to really cut a rug at the reception. These dresses allow you to show off those colored crinolines everyone has been rockin' under the long dresses that tend to mask the fun surprise. If you're looking for a Vintage Dress, check out: Vintageous or Cherished Bride.

The Pre-Worn or Pre-Owned Dress

A brand-new wedding dress is worn for anywhere between 2-12 hours. This being less than an entire day, it's a sad, short life for a precious gown. If you're not concerned about wearing a pre-worn dress, you can find them dry-cleaned and practically brand new on many websites for sale at huge discounts. Some of these dresses are from the many infamous Two-Dress Brides out there who are trying to get rid of their previously perfect dress to wear the one that really makes their heart go pitter patter. These dresses often have not been worn nor have had any alterations made to them-and again, are listed at huge discounts. If you're looking for a Pre-Worn or Pre-Owned Dress, check out: OnceWed or eBay.

*Gilt Groupe sales only last 24-48 hours, so check back regularly for the next Notte by Marchesa sale!

Posted by Miss Pomegranate at 10:50 a.m.

My Big Fat Geek Wedding

Growing up, I was never a girly girl. I never wanted to put on dresses or wear my mom's makeup or have the perfect hairdo. No, I was at the other end of the spectrum. I was the girl who wanted to wear pants. Who wanted to climb trees. Who wanted to play with He-Man action figures with the neighborhood boys. I never thought this was all that weird until I, an only child, entered school and was surrounded by a bunch of girls who looked at me like I was from Mars. I got teased for having short hair, for wearing jeans and for liking "boy things." So, to make life easier for myself, I learned to blend in. I grew my hair out, I added a few more skirts to my wardrobe, and I eventually learned to apply makeup. I was infiltrating enemy lines and the uniform of girl was my camouflage.

However, as I grew older, I realized that all this girly fuss wasn't worth the trouble, so I reverted back to my natural state. I was a geek who liked different things and, if other people didn't like or understand that, that was okay.

Much to my joy, when I was 21 years old, I met a guy who had been a closet nerd, too. A Star Wars fan and a Lego fiend, he had hidden his atypical interests from his past girlfriends for fear of being made fun of. But now that we'd found each other, we put our dorkishness out in the open and celebrated the unconventional things we liked. We went to Renaissance festivals, we quoted Monty Python at each other, and we spent our first Valentine's Day in bed together watching The Last Crusade and debating the merits of Indiana Jones versus Han Solo. It was the golden age of geekdom for both of us and we loved it.

Unfortunately, three years later, when we decided to get hitched, we faced offbeat oppression yet again when we went to plan the wedding. Everywhere I turned, things seemed to be frilly and ultra feminine, and everyone I spoke to seemed to reinforce these ideas.

"Come on!" they'd insist, as they shoved rose and dove adorned wedding favors at me, "You're supposed to like this stuff! You're a bride!"

And looking around, it was a hard sentiment to fight against. There was so much pressure to pick from a pile of pretty little pink things, I started to doubt myself. Maybe this was what I was supposed to do. I felt just about ready to cave and buy a puffball of a wedding dress, when I realized the teenage tactics of peer pressure were striking against me again. I knew it was time to put a stop to it, so my fiance and I made a pact-if we were going to do this whole wedding thing, we were going to do it our way.

And with nine days until the wedding, after months of hard work, we've managed to pull it off. Sure, my wedding dress is probably the most girly thing I've ever worn (okay, I caved a little there, but I truly do love it!), but our geekiness is on full display pretty much everywhere else, from our table and escort cards (video game themed) to entrance music (the Halo theme) to our cake (based on Return of the Jedi with assorted Ewoks and a Han and Leia topper).

Not only did everything turn out nicely, but we're happy that our guests can attend a wedding that represents who we are, instead of some cookie cutter wedding couple. It might be unusual, but it's definitely us and, for a couple of geeks, I think that's pretty cool. :)

Posted by Miss Hummingbird at 4:13 p.m.

Looking Back

This is a story about old friends, distance, nostalgia, and the sentimentality of being a bride.

Sian and I met in the second grade when she was just the girl with the funny name and I was the new kid. Before the year was over, we were best friends. We had slumber parties every weekend during which we performed a radio show on my "TalkBoy" tape recorder (remember those?), invented our own magical kingdom (which we subsequently defended from unspeakable evil), and formed a club named of our first and last initials (we were the sole members).

As the years passed, we lost our last baby teeth, got our first periods, and started daydreaming about what it meant to be an "adult." We were inseparable, a dynamic duo.

Throughout our childhoods, we shunned the idea of marriage. My parents were consistently unhappy with each other and her two loving moms were a constant source of small-town controversy. Instead of finding spouses, we decided that we'd just buy the biggest RV we could afford and drive around the country together until we got sick of it. Then, we'd buy a house and some cats and grow old as spinsters.

At that age, we were so fixated on the present that we were sure that things would never change. But they did, and we had our first major falling out in early high school over something stupid and petty. It was my fault, I ditched her to hang out with the "popular" crowd (who were boring and vapid). But I was too pigheaded to admit that I'd done wrong and she was too stubborn to forgive me. By the time I came crawling back, we hadn't spoken in almost six months and we barely had time to repair our friendship... My parents had just announced that we were moving to the other side of the country.

My first regret is that we even fought in the first place. My next is that I let my eagerness to move away and "start over" burn too many bridges that I could never repair. My newest regret is that now, ten years later, I won't be going to her wedding. And she won't be coming to mine.

Sian was engaged almost exactly a year after my fiance popped the question to me. As soon as I heard, I emailed her to send my congratulations, tell her that I was also engaged (I read her LiveJournal but I don't think she reads my blog), and invite her to our wedding. I immediately started daydreaming about how we would hug and cry tears of joy while we reminisced and felt so proud to have been part of this amazing, important moment in each other's lives.

She replied to share her well wishes and wedding plans, but there was a problem... a huge, gaping hole in my awesome wedding daydream.

She'd booked her wedding on exactly the same day.

My first, and totally irrational reaction was to be completely pissed. How could she? Didn't she know how much this meant to me? How important it was for us!? (Well, no, of course she didn't.) I wasn't really furious; I was frustrated and completely helpless to stop the obliteration of one of my greatest dreams for my wedding day-a reunion with my childhood best friend.

Then, I cried myself to sleep and couldn't tell my fiance what was wrong. I've always been sad that after being friends for so many years, we've only written each other a handful of letters and had a few hour-long lunches when I've been traveling. It sometimes seems so bittersweet that we've made new friends and gotten along just fine without each other. But I'd always just assumed that we would still be a part of each other's lives when it came to the BIG things. Like getting married.

What are the chances that after ten years apart, we would be wed on exactly the same day?

Finally, I realized the serendipity of our situation. Even if our weddings weren't double-booked, who knows if we'd have been able to make it to each other's nuptials. Daydreams are no match for the problems of real life-like time and money.

But with our weddings on the same day, we will celebrate together. When we commemorate our anniversaries, we will also honor the anniversary of a friend. And I won't ever forget her wedding date!

To be honest, I'm still quite sad about it. But our weddings have already brought us back together, at least a little. We've talked more about our excitement over wedding plans than anything else in the last ten years.

Sian's still on my guest list: I sent her a Save the Date in December and she'll get an invite as soon as they're ready. In place of her presence at my wedding, I'll have the story of our childhood friendship, our vow to die virgin spinsters, and our serendipitous vows on the exact same day 1,500 miles apart.

Posted by Miss Cherry Pie at 11:37 a.m.