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It's time to gather the troops to help you put together this wedding. Find out what the traditional roles and responsibilities are for everyone but the guests.

Bride and Groom

The bride and groom's big responsibility is to get married - but of course, there are myriad planning decisions to make first. Ideally the bride and groom work together on these decisions, to share the workload and to make sure both are happy with the plans. This entire web site is really about what the bride and groom need to do, but here's a nutshell version: Set budget; choose date, style and site for wedding; meet with ceremony officiant to discuss details; coordinate invites, flowers, photographer, etc.; shop for wedding bands (each pays for the other's); write wedding vows if they choose; send thank-you notes for all gifts.

In addition to their joint responsibilities, the bride and groom each traditionally handle certain details on their own. Each makes sure his or her family compiles a guest list. The bride chooses her bridesmaids and honor attendant and has final say on their attire. She delegates appropriate planning duties to her attendants and willing family members. She plans and hosts the bridesmaids' luncheon and gives her attendants thank-you gifts, and she buys a gift for groom.

The groom chooses his groomsmen and best man and picks their attire. He buys thank-you gifts for his attendants and for the bride. He arranges and pays for the marriage license and the officiant's fee, and he reserves a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests. Traditionally the groom plans and pays for the honeymoon.

Bride's Parents

In the past, the bride's parents usually had the dubious privilege of footing the bill for the majority of wedding expenses. Today costs are likely to be distributed among the bride's parents, groom"s parents and the couple themselves, but there are still certain responsibilities the bride's parents hold.

Traditionally they host first engagement party. They help the bride with the guest list; and offer assistance (and moral support!) with wedding details. The bride's mother chooses her attire, then informs groom's mother of her choice so they can complement each other.

The bride's father gets fitted for formalwear. On the day of the wedding, then he escorts her to the ceremony site and may walk her down the aisle (perhaps with her mother on the bride's other arm). He is the last to leave the reception, after saying goodnight to guests and settling outstanding bills with the caterer, bandleader and coat-check, restroom and parking attendants.

Groom's Parents

Customarily, the groom's parents contact the bride's parents after the engagement. They may host an engagement party (after the bride's parents do). They provide a list of guests to the couple - hopefully sticking to an agreed-upon number. They consult with the bride's parents on attire. They host the rehearsal dinner on the evening before the wedding, and they may contribute to some wedding expenses.

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