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The ring and proposal were perfect, but now it's time for you to get to work. Here's everything you need to know as soon as you get engaged.

Telling the Parents

Traditional engagement etiquette recommends that the bride’s parents be the first to be informed of their daughter’s engagement. Tell them in person, if possible—after all, they’re going to want to hug you and make a fuss! If they live too far away, a phone call is the next-best option. Are your parents divorced? You can talk to Mom and Dad separately, but do try to tell the second parent soon after the first, to avoid hurt feelings.

Once you’ve talked to both sets of parents, they should plan on meeting each other in person, if they haven’t already. Traditionally, the mother of the groom invites the bride’s parents over for dinner or drinks. (If the bride’s parents are divorced, the groom’s mother should meet them separately, first visiting the parent with whom the bride lived or to whom she is closest. If the groom’s parents are divorced, each one should try to meet the bride’s parents separately.) If your families live several states apart, though, a congratulatory note or phone call is perfectly fine. And if your parents don’t hear from your fiancé’s family within a few weeks, they can initiate a meeting or phone call, or simply send a note.

If you have children from a previous marriage, you should break the engagement news to them even before you tell your parents. Do it without your fiancé present, so they can feel free to react honestly. Know that they will need time to get used to the idea that their family situationis going to change. Also, it’s important to tell your (or your groom’s) ex-spouse of your upcoming nuptials, if only so he (or she) can help the kids through the transition.

Announcing Your Engagement

Most couples call each other's parents "Mr." and "Mrs." or use their first names. But after the engagement, some parents ask their new daughter- or son-in-law-to-be to refer to them as "Mom" and "Dad." If you're still calling your spouse's parents "Mr." and "Mrs." after the wedding and they haven't said anything about it, it's okay to ask them what monikers they'd like you to use.

Power of the Press

After informing your nearest and dearest, and your extended families and friends, you might want to run an announcement of your engagement in your local newspaper. Papers typically publish these two to three months before the wedding, but an announcement can run up to a year in advance of the big day. Each paper has its own policy and requirements, so call yours and ask these questions:

• Is there a standard form to fill out or must I write my own announcement?
• Does the paper publish photos?
• If so, what photo format (digital, print, and so on) and style (black-and-white or color) are preferred?
• Will my photo be returned to me?
• Is there a charge for running the announcement?

Usually, it's the bride's parents who issue an engagement announcement. Here are some examples of proper wording:

• The Traditional Way
  "Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Hall of Alpharetta, , announce the engagement of their daughter, Alexis Jane Hall, to Bradley William Smythe, son of Mr. and Mrs. Zachary Smythe of Rye, New York . A June wedding has been planned."
• If the Bride's Parents Are Divorced and Both Are Announcing
  "Mrs. Amy Hall of Alpharetta, , and Mr. Matthew Hall of Athens, , announce the engagement of their daughter, Alexis Jane Hall, to Bradley William Smythe, son of Mr. and Mrs. Zachary Smythe of Rye, New York . A June wedding has been planned."
• If the Bride's Parents Are Divorced and One of Them Is Announcing
  "Mrs. Amy Hall of Alpharetta, , announces the engagement of her daughter, Alexis Jane Hall, to Bradley William Smythe, son of Mr. and Mrs. Zachary Smythe of Rye, New York . Miss Hall is also the daughter of Mr. Matthew Hall of Athens, ..." (Note: The parent who raised you should be the one to issue the announcement.)
• If the Groom's Parents Are Divorced
  "Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Hall of Alpharetta, Georgia, announce the engagement of their daughter, Alexis Jane Hall, to Bradley William Smythe, son of Mrs. Elizabeth Smythe [or Mrs. Elizabeth Rogers, if remarried] of Greenwich, Connecticut, and Mr. Zachary Smythe of Rye, New York..."

Let's Celebrate!

In days past, engagement parties were formal to-dos with as many guests as the wedding itself. Today, they're optional, and may include just the immediate family, the bridal party and close friends. An engagement fete can take any form: a classic buffet dinner, a swanky cocktail party or a laid-back outdoor barbecue. If an engagement soirée is on your must-do list, here's some handy planning advice:

• Who hosts? Anyone can throw an engagement celebration—family members, friends, even you and your fiancé. It's also fine for each set of parents to fete you with separate engagement get-togethers if they live far apart and plan to invite different people to their shindigs.
• Who's invited? Generally, the guest list is limited to family members, the bridal party and close friends. Just remember: Everyone who is invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding.
• What about gifts? Guests may bring engagement presents, but these aren't required. If you do receive some, wait until after the party to open them. That way, you won't make those who didn't bring a gift feel uncomfortable.
• Should we register? Proper etiquette is to prepare your wedding registry before the engagement party. Be sure it includes smaller-ticket items, like picture frames, toasting glasses and candlesticks, since engagement gifts tend to be more modest than shower and wedding presents.

Money Talk

Minding Your Budget Whether you've got $5,000 or $50,000 to spend, here's an idea of how costs generally break out: Reception: 40% Engagement/Wedding Rings: 6% Honeymoon: 14.5% Photography/Videography: 10.5% Miscellaneous (clergy fees, rehearsal party, attendants' gifts, limos): 10% Invitations: 2% Wedding Apparel: 7% Music: 5% Flowers: 5%

Will your families be dividing the bills? Figuring out who pays for what—and asking how much they'll give—can be tricky, but a healthy dose of respect and a spirit of cooperation can go a long way in smoothing out the process. When it's time to talk money with your families, keep these tips in mind:

• Approach each family separately. That way, you're not putting either group on the spot in front of the other.
• Talk specifics. Come to the table with an estimate of how much you think the wedding will cost. Ask how much people feel comfortable giving and discuss whether there are any particular costs—like the band or rehearsal dinner—they would like to cover.
• Be discreet. The two of you should keep the details of who is contributing what to yourselves. This will discourage competitive feelings and keep those who aren't contributing as much from feeling bad.

Who pays?

In the past, the bride's family was responsible for the bulk of the wedding expenses, from the reception costs to the bride's attire and the limousines. The groom's family typically picked up the tab for the rehearsal dinner, and the groom himself covered the honeymoon, the marriage license, the officiant's fee and the bride's rings. These days, though, many brides and grooms are footing the entire wedding bill themselves—or splitting the costs three ways, among themselves and both sets of parents.

Of Maids and Men

You probably already have an idea who you'd like to have in your wedding party. But before you ask those individuals, first consider whether they will be able to make the necessary commitments, in terms of time and energy. Be sure to explain what the job requires—like helping to plan the shower or bachelor party and paying for the attire—and let your prospective bridesmaid or groomsman know it's fine to take a few days to think about it. If, for some reason, the person declines, be gracious and understanding.

As for how many people can be in the wedding party, there are no hard-and-fast rules. You can have as few or as many bridesmaids and groomsmen as you choose and you needn't have an equal number of each. Also, men can stand up for women—and vice versa—and age and relationship are not etiquette factors (your mom could be the matron of honor!). One guideline that is smart to follow: Have at least one usher (groomsman) for every 50 guests. That way, you're assured people will be seated efficiently when they arrive for the ceremony.

Envisioning the Big Day

Planning Tip: After you select your wedding date, get the word out to your family and friends with our Save-the-Date widget. Get it now >>

Now it's time to think about what style of wedding you'd like to have. Sit down with your fiancé and discuss your dream day: Will it be a formal event in a hotel ballroom or a casual affair under a tent in your parents' backyard? Will you serve a traditional sit-down dinner or throw a luncheon or cocktail party? "Consider nuptials you've attended," says Sharon Naylor, author of several
wedding books, including The Groom's Guide:

A Wedding Planner for Today's Marrying Man (Citadel Press). "Which had the look and feel you liked?" Browse magazines and even travel web sites for ideas and inspiration. "You may see a photo of a Caribbean resort with an outdoor terrace decorated with lights that might inspire you to have a destination wedding," says Naylor. "Even if you're not getting married in the tropics, you may want to re-create that romantic outdoor set-up." Next, figure out how these factors will affect your vision:

• The Size. Would you prefer a large gathering that includes close friends and family, as well as coworkers and acquaintances, or do you picture yourselves tying the knot before just the VIPs in your life? The number of guests will affect the tone of your wedding and determine how much time you’ll be able to spend with each person.
• The Location. Have a dream ceremony or reception site? Consider any possible constraints. “You don’t want to book a place that only accommodates 100 when you plan to invite 300,” warns wedding planner Jean Picard of Jean Picard Wedding Consulting, in Ventura, California. Also, if you plan to have a destination wedding in an exotic locale, realize that this might limit the number of guests who’ll be able to attend, due to work or budget restrictions.
• Your Parents. Are they footing a big portion of the bill? Some parents may use money as a way to claim decision-making power—for example, they may demand a say in how many guests will be invited, as well as regarding wedding details like the food or centerpieces.
• Your Budget. Some of your biggest expenses—like food and alcohol—will be determined by how many guests you have. Obviously, the longer your guest list is, the bigger the bills will be. Also, know that sit-down dinners can be more expensive than buffets, cocktail parties or luncheons.
• The Date. The busiest wedding months run from May to October (prices often go up then as well). Since top venues and vendors get booked quickly, you’ll need to work well in advance if you’re set on a particular place and pros. Saturday is the most popular day of the week, followed by Friday and Sunday.

Wedding Wisdom

How can you keep from becoming a “diva” bride? What’s the best way to tell guests their kids aren’t invited to the wedding? For answers to these questions, and for more advice, pick up Bridal Guide Magazine’s New Etiquette For Today’s Bride, by Diane Forden (Warner Books, $13.95), available at booksellers nationwide.