Blogs | Here Comes the Wedding | Wedding Bell Blues
January 18, 2008
Wedding Bell Blues
It’s the day of the wedding. I’m cranky. My hair is messy and unwashed. I look down at a cheap dress that looks like it came out of the dumpy clearance bin. I have no appropriate undergarments, so I’m wearing thick black socks with ugly old-lady heels. My makeup looks like an afterthought—actually the whole outfit looks like an afterthought. It’s as if I’ve had one day to prepare for the wedding. I see myself in the mirror and gasp in horror.
Then I wake up.
Yes, that was the first of my Bridal Anxiety Dreams. It came after the big decisions were already made. We’ve picked the date and made a deposit on both the church and the reception site. A colleague innocently asked about wedding plans that day at work and while telling her all the happy things we’ve done and how it seemed like we were on track, that very night I dreamt I was the ugliest, crankiest and most unkempt bride in the world.
My fiancé, a lovely man whom I’ve known for 12 years, calmed me down after the nightmare. It’s a job he’s very good at—a wonderful thing since he’s going to be doing it for the duration of our life together. He held me and told me it was only a dream.
What is it about this one day that can turn a rational 30-year-old woman into a panicky basket case—nearly 10 months before the wedding? The only thing I can think of is that now that the big things are taken care of, my psyche has nothing to do but worry about the little things. The things I know will work themselves out. The things which I have plenty of time to do, like pick a dress, buy great shoes, and find proper undergarments that don’t involve black socks.
My wedding date is September 20, 2008, so in the upcoming months you’ll get to hear about the challenges of finding a beautiful plus-size dress, picking a photographer, and putting together a great big family wedding in Southern California on a teeny tiny budget.
Posted by Nichole at 2:18 p.m.
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