Admit it: When you think about your honeymoon, you're thinking about sex. Good sex, great sex, lots of sex. We’re with you—and we’ve come up with 10 ways to make honeymoon sex hotter than ever. Sex on the beach? That’s the easy part. Here’s the rest.
Let’s face it, after months of meticulous planning and a day or night filled with crazy emotions, meeting, greeting, eating and dancing, sleep may be higher on your to-do list than getting it on with your groom. "It’s important not to put too much pressure on yourselves to have sex on your wedding night," says Judy Kuriansky, Ph.D., author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to a Happy Relationship (Alpha Books). It’s a well-kept secret: Many couples are just too exhausted to conjugate on night numero uno. So if too many champagne toasts have left your libidos lagging, don’t push it. Instead, curl up next to your hubby, and get a little shut-eye. After all, you’ll have the next morning, the entire honeymoon and the rest of your lives to break the bedsprings - and you’ll need some energy to do it!
In the real world: When you're wiped out after a long day, you may feel you're neglecting your sex life if you two just pass out together. But that doesn't mean you have to completely pass on sex. Instead, get out a pen and paper, and write each other a romantic rain check. That way, while you're curled up in the spoon position, you can dream about cashing in that IOU.
Even if you two are already plenty passionate in your sexual encounters, there are bound to be some things you've been dying to try—and he's sure to have some secret fantasies of his own. "Before the big day, exchange a list of three wishes, things that you think would heighten your romantic or sexual experience," says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a certified clinical sexologist and author of Passion Power (Peters Publishing). You don't have to get down and dirty. Start by listing gentle activities, like a sensual massage, having him brush your hair or taking a bubble bath together. You can work up to the kinky stuff later. These wishes will give you both some intriguing tricks to try on your trip, and will also open the doors for communication—and experimentation—down the road.
In the real world: Plan a Wish Night once a month. "It's a great way to learn about each other," says Kuriansky, and to tickle each other's fancies - maybe even literally.
Don't worry, we're not talking about seeing dead people. "You need to emphasize the sensual dimension of your relationship," says Lana Holstein, M.D., author of How to Have Magnificent Sex: The Seven Dimensions of a Vital Sexual Connection (Harmony). Concentrate on creating a positive element for each of the six—that's right six—senses of the body. According to Holstein, in addition to the familiar five (sight, smell, touch, taste, sound), there is the kinesthetic, your sense of the movement of your body. To create an über-sensual honeymoon experience, pack massage oils, candles and bath salts, and stock up on delectables like strawberries, whipped cream and chocolate (to tease your taste buds). Ask the concierge to place fresh flowers in your hotel room, and don't forget to bring the music—unless, of course, you like that Muzak on the hotel's TV channel. The tunes will bring pleasure to your ears, and the rhythm will heighten your kinesthetic sense and put you in the mood for motion.
In the real world: Bring the sense-pleasing souvenirs home with you, and place them around the house. Keep those candles on a coffee table or place the massage oil next to the toothpaste in the medicine cabinet. They'll provide daily reminders of your exciting escapade, and they'll also be handy to grab in case of, um, need.
"All parts of your body are sexual," says Cia Rocco, psychotherapist and author of Living As If Your Life Depended On It (Life Care, Inc.). But it's hard to know exactly what spots will make your man melt—and the fact is, he probably doesn't know, either! To overcome that obstacle, Cadell suggests this trick: Have your hubby lie down naked. Starting at the top of his head, kiss, caress and nibble every inch of his body, front and back. Be sure to include even the most seemingly unsexy parts, like his eyelids, the tips of his fingers and the backs of his heels. You never know when you'll hit a hot spot! While you're exploring, have him rate each inch that you touch on a scale of one to 10. As you move along, make mental notes of those zones ranked 8 to 10, and file them away for future reference. When you've finished with this lengthy yet delicious task—and if you're not already too turned on to handle it—switch places and let him nibble his way around your neighborhood.
In the real world: Once you know where his hot spots hide, make a point of seeking them out randomly during sex. Only go for one or two of his most sensitive spots at a time, so that you keep him guessing—and begging for more.
Admit it, you like being on top. Most women do (it's easiest for us to control our pleasure that way). But having it your way all the time might send your sex life out to pasture. On top not your favorite? Whatever your tried-and-true sex position is, it may be time to change things. "Many people make love in the same position and in the same location all the time, which leads to predictability and boredom," says Cadell. And who wants to be bored in bed? So let go of the reigns, and take a ride on these trails (or go off on a few of your own): Missionary (or man on top)—emotionally stimulating because you're face to face. Scissors (or side-by-side) - great for slow, gentle sex, and good for cuddling. Rear entry—best for deep penetration. Standing—not for those with heart problems, but good for a quick ride. "Start with a fresh awareness that you are creating your own sexual repertoire," says Rocco, "and really get comfortable with exploring all the positions." Who knows, you could be screaming, "Ride 'em, cowboy!" from a brand new saddle in no time.
In the real world: Rate your favorite rides, compare notes with your cowboy, and revisit those trails every few months to see whether the scenery has changed.
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